Honoring your wife

[SemperJase]

Isn’t it strange how sometimes you get confirmation from different directions that your’re doing the right thing?

One of my rules for having a healthy marriage is to never talk critically of your spouse in front of other people.

Well a couple of weeks ago, I was out with a couple of friends. Both were talking critically about their wives, I just listened. My wife (“Honeybun”) showed up a bit later and asked what we were talking about. One of my friends said, “we were griping about our wives.” He paused, “except Jason.” Then he looked at me and said, “you never gripe about your wife.”

Well yesterday my wife was visiting with her sister and her sister’s in-laws. SIL’s husband was ribbing her. Apparently there followed a discussion about how husbands make fun of their wives. My SIL then told Honeybun, “but Jason doesn’t make fun of you.”

Now I don’t mean to blow my own horn. I’m just pointing out how such a simple thing is so noticable. I’m thankful for the feedback though. At least I seem to being doing something right.

So, I have now have a little proof for something I’ve long believed. One of the rules of a happy marriage is to never talk negatively about your spouse in public. The correllary to that is do freely compliment you spouse publicly.

 

[kamz]

My husband and I have the same in our marriage, I would never talk about him in a negative way to anyone, if I’m upset etc. with my husband I speak directly to him and he to me and I would never share something that personal with anyone, not even in a teasing way or joking way, I don’t think its funny and he doesn’t think its funny. My husband has shared how some of the men he works with talk about their wives, some things just silly stuff and some things down right personal and my husband always finds a way to excuse himself since it just makes him uncomfortable and he feels weird when we run into the couple together somewhere, like he knows something about the wife that she has no idea her husband has been telling at work and my husband feels bad for her, he said, he would never ever share things like that teasing or not, he just doesn’t think thats right and I feel that same way, I don’t joke about my hubby unless it is just he and I by ourselves teasing privately in a specail way between us, it is personal and between us. I just don’t think of it, I know how I want to be treated and I know that if I want to be treated a certain way even when I’m not around, well, my husband also deserves that same respect, but… I will sometimes toot my horn, I might tell my sister how my husband had made dinner, bathed the kids, did the dishes and let me just sit back and relax and how blessed I feel by that and my husband will just get red in the face and say “oh, its not a big deal but I’m glad it was pleasing to you” but I would only share that with my hubby in the room and with my sister or my mom and never more personal than that.

 

[puzzleannie]

SemperJase:

. One of my friends said, “we were griping about our wives.” He paused, “except Jason.” Then he looked at me and said, “you never gripe about your wife.”

. My SIL then told Honeybun, “but Jason doesn’t make fun of you.”

.

this is a perfect example of evangelization in action, witnessing the Gospel to others. those guys surely are learning something from you not by what you say but by what you don’t say (and I bet their wives are jealous of Honeybun)

 

[Stac4Grace]

My husband and I are the same way. Although, I do admit when I am around other people and they are talking about their spouse’s I kind of feel like a goody goody. My two cousin’s have husband’s that talk badly about them in front of my mother and she doesn’t like it at all. Whenever she would say something about me and my husband they would say well what’s so special about her husband? My husband and I both had a rough time growing up with people talking negative to us so we both know what that feels like and we would never dream of hurting each others feelings. God bless you for honoring your wife.

 

[maryjk]

Stac4Grace:

My husband and I are the same way. Although, I do admit when I am around other people and they are talking about their spouse’s I kind of feel like a goody goody.

My husband and I are the same way. And I feel goody goody around most of my friends.

There is one friend that treats her husband the same way. I have never heard one bad thing about him. And come to think of it, although my husband and I have very few “couple” friends, the husband and wife are friends to both of us.

We also never show anyone that we are having a disagreement. For example, if you came over to our house as we were having a disagreement, the disagreement would stop until you left. I can remember a time that I had to take a deep breath right before I opened the door for my parents. They never knew that my husband and I were very upset with each other. That way they never have to take sides.

 

[deb1]

My hubby and I try very hard to show one another respect and not speak badly of one another behind the other’s back. Occasionally, this has caused me problems with other females. They get offended that I don’t want to complain about my hubby.

I don’t like the male bashing that I hear other women engage in either. It makes me uncomfortable and I don’t usually agree with generalized statements anyway.

It has always made me uncomfortable when other couples argue in front of me. I have no idea why people do this. Don’t they realize that it is rude and obnoxious to do so?

 

[deb1]

SemperJase:

Well yesterday my wife was visiting with her sister and her sister’s in-laws. SIL’s husband was ribbing her. Apparently there followed a discussion about how husbands make fun of their wives. My SIL then told Honeybun, “but Jason doesn’t make fun of you.”

.

By ribbing do you mean the good natured type that some couples seem to engage in? My husband and I like to tease one another but there is always respect behind it and I would never say anything that would hurt his feelings, nor would I say anything cruel to him. My husband has a good sense of humor and laughs easily.

Or do you mean the type of ribbing that has either cruelty, disrespect or disappointment underneath. I have seen quite a few couples who use a joking demeanor to mask their desire to hurt one another. My hubby had a good friend whose wife would joke about how boring the man was in bed. I told my husband that they would get divorced and they did shortly after that.