Hooray! Teetotalers only to serve in government!

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I am putting this topic in the CASUAL category on purpose–it is tongue-in-cheek! PLEASE do not report me as a troll and have me drawn, quartered and banned for life!

My husband and I are teetotalers from families of teetotalers. We do not drink, we have never drunk any alcohol, and we generally do not feel comfortable in any setting where alcohol is served.

We are thrilled that it appears that in the near future, ALL people who have consumed alcohol and acted foolishly in high school or college will be PROHIBITED from holding public office, serving on a court, or doing anything that involves having any authority over anyone!

This would have to include people who have been through AA or some other rehab program and have been sober for years–after all, they drank when they were teenagers or college students, and by golly!–this brings up all kinds of grave questions about their fitness to serve!

So…this means only a few people in the United States will be left to serve in public office or hold any authority over others. My husband and I will RULE! Long live Peeps and Mr. Peeps! Hail to the Peeps!

I think we’ll paint the White House green. We both like green. Or maybe orange–Mr. Peeps loves orange.

And all cars will be converted to Peeps Mobiles. Do a google search if you haven’t seen one. So much cuter than Prius.

And Peeps will become the Official Food of the United States. Hooray!

Seriously–would you believe that after watching the news last night, Mr. Peeps and I actually had this discussion? And actually got kind of excited about the prospect of a government composed completely of teetotalers! It boggles the mind.

But we quickly realized that there wouldn’t be enough people in the country who would qualify to serve in all the government positions. So we would have to be a Dictatorship, with supreme authority resting only with the Peeps. Bwoo ha ha.

You do realize that Pres. Trump is a teetotaler? 😆
 
Peeps said:
PLEASE do not report me as a troll and have me drawn, quartered and banned for life!
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Aw, but I was just getting pitch fork out. I never get to use it. 🙂

In all seriousness you make a good point and I was thinking the same thing. Whether he gets confirmed or not, I hope someone goes after the people who treated Dr. Ford like a political pawn.
 
There are many people who drink, who drink to excess at times, yet were not sexually aggressive to anyone. The “boys will be boys” attitude makes one “gasp and stretch one’s eyes” to quote Belloc.
 
Peeps and Mr. Peeps hereby declare that this thread is not meant to be a serious discussion of alcohol use and misuse, and certainly not of sexual misbehavior, which will be forbidden in the Peeps Dictatorship!

There are already many threads open in the “World News” thread of CAF for serious discussion of whether a bunch of crazy high school students or college kids are even capable of remembering what they did while they were totally wasted.

Perhaps Peeps and Mr. Peeps should institute (or COMMAND) a nation-wide study of “Memory and Drunkenness.” We think there would be plenty of volunteers!

While we’re at it, we will decree that during the Super Bowl, there will be an equal amount of ads for both Budweiser and Marshmallow Peeps. Perhaps we’ll even have a wagon full of marshmallow Peeps being pulled by a team of chicks and bunnies.

Or course, as with all dictatorships, we will eventually be deposed. Probably forced to stomp grapes at every winery in the Midwest! Oh, well. Like Prohibition, all good things must end.

But until that day–Peeps Rule!
 
Sorry. Previous post deleted.

Here in Casual Discussion it would be better to post a meme or something.

Maybe I can find one (or create one) that fits the topic.

How about teetotalers smashing bottles of liquor while Rome burns. Get it? Alcohol being flammable, you see. In their zeal to eliminate evil, they inadvertently add fuel and accelerate the destruction.

I’ll get to work on the graphics after lunch.
 
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Thanks!

You are hereby appointed “Official Memes Artist of the Peeps Dictatorship.” You will accept or else be forced to dress up like a Peep and read editorial cartoons to Peeps and Mr. Peeps for our amusement.

Our Dictatorship is so much fun (for us).

P.S. Peeps doesn’t know how to post a meme and isn’t really sure what a “meme” is. Mr. Peeps knows all about this, but he is busy working at his non-dictator job right now. We pay our own salary as Supreme Dictators–we appreciate the struggle of American taxpayers to afford to buy their marshmallow Peeps.
 
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I definitely will not be a good fit in this ‘new order’. Because in answer to the question, ‘is life worth living?’ I have often replied ‘it depends on the liver.’
 
I just learned that Teddy Roosevelt was a teetotaler, but he drank a gallon of coffee per day.

I don’t drink a gallon anything per day…

Hopefully the Little Presidents Room was close to the Oval Office.
 
Well, now you’ve outed Peeps, who doesn’t drink alcohol, but drinks at least 6-8 16 oz sodas per day. Half regular, half diet. And Mr. Peeps drinks pretty close to that amount, but all diet.

So when does the “impeepsment” begin? 😥
 
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