How accepting is the Church?

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moo5009

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I think i’m going to be able to attend my very first mass soon. Hopefully soon after i’ll be able to actually join the Catholic Church. I have a few questions about acceptance there though. I’ve always been sort of a misfit. I’m a 15 year old male, and for personal reasons and just plain preference keep my hair long. I’m worried that i’ll be stereotyped as that rebellious teenage punk with the long hair who goes around getting in trouble with the law and such.

That is actually the furthest thing possible from the truth. I’ve never been in any serious trouble, save for the unfortunate event of being caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, I don’t listen to any bad music (I actually don’t listen to any music strangely enough), I have a 3.8 GPA in school, and I generally consider myself to be a wholesome and good person with a creative and artistic view of life.

That being said, I pride myself on my long hair. It shows my individuality, not in a rebellious way, but more in a unique way that makes me feel special about who I am. Sometimes people mistake me as being that rowdy and rebellious teenage who has no regard for the rules. So, i’m asking all of you experienced Catholics, would the church accept me with my hair? The last thing I want to do is cut it, but if the church insists I do, I will. Thank you 🙂
 
I’m a 17 year old male. My hair is really long and I’ve worn it that way for a couple of years. I’m great friends with several people from church and my pastor and I get along very well! I’ve never been reprimanded or called out because of my hair.

Soo…you should have no problems there.
 
Practically ever since I converted I had long, very wavy hair. It was long, as in below my shoulders. I never had any problem whatsoever with anybody. It was only about 3 months ago that I shaved it bald due to a bet.

However, I would advise you to make sure you dress appropriately for Mass (although it seems many people don’t even care about this anymore). If you have a suit, use that (it goes great with long hair LOL). And of course, if there are extraordinary situations don’t worry about it.

God bless.
 
I agree about the dress code! As long as you be yourself and dress nicely, you won’t get stares from anybody except those random people who have a problem with hair, and there’s just as many in the Catholic church as outside it.

I hope you enjoy the mass!! Best of luck!
(And if you feel like anybody’s weirded out by you just get to know them somehow. You sound like a great guy, they’ll drop their stereotypes. Don’t be afraid to get to know people at church, you’ll meet people with as many quirks as yourself)
 
The reason for this is found in 1 Corinthians 11:14, which says “Doth not even nature itself teach you that a man indeed, if he nourish [that is, grow long] his hair, it is a shame unto him?” I don’t know of our modern view of this, but I have to admit that I am guilty of this certain judging of people 😦 I am trying to stop though…

But, nobody is going to kick you out, and we’re much more glad to have you here than not no matter what you look like! 🙂
 
moo5009 said:
I think i’m going to be able to attend my very first mass soon. Hopefully soon after i’ll be able to actually join the Catholic Church. I have a few questions about acceptance there though. I’ve always been sort of a misfit. I’m a 15 year old male, and for personal reasons and just plain preference keep my hair long. I’m worried that i’ll be stereotyped as that rebellious teenage punk with the long hair who goes around getting in trouble with the law and such.
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relax, we won’t be able to tell you apart from our own kids with long hair, piercings, hole-jeans and so forth. We include and love (even when we don’t always understand) teens of all shapes, sizes and styles of adornment, just come to your parish youth group or CCD and find out. chances are you will see some of your own friends there already.

Even if you were a rebellious teen who had some troubles with authority you would still be welcome, because that could become your channel for coming to know Jesus Christ.

Welcome home.

in fact when you do join a class with others your age who are exploring the idea of becoming Catholic, you may find that some of us old folks teaching you retain our own long hair from our hippie days (grayer and sparser, but still enough for a pony tail).

it is true that when we come into church for Mass we should all pay attention to our dress out of respect for the King, but old folks can offend this way, too. If you need guidance on how to dress for Mass, wear what you would to go to a special dinner at your grandma’s house.
 
I remember seeing a clergyman at Westminster Cathedral with a foot long ponytail, so I’m sure you’ll be fine. 😛
 
moo5009 said:
I think i’m going to be able to attend my very first mass soon. Hopefully soon after i’ll be able to actually join the Catholic Church. I have a few questions about acceptance there though. I’ve always been sort of a misfit. I’m a 15 year old male, and for personal reasons and just plain preference keep my hair long. I’m worried that i’ll be stereotyped as that rebellious teenage punk with the long hair who goes around getting in trouble with the law and such.

That is actually the furthest thing possible from the truth. I’ve never been in any serious trouble, save for the unfortunate event of being caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, I don’t listen to any bad music (I actually don’t listen to any music strangely enough), I have a 3.8 GPA in school, and I generally consider myself to be a wholesome and good person with a creative and artistic view of life.

That being said, I pride myself on my long hair. It shows my individuality, not in a rebellious way, but more in a unique way that makes me feel special about who I am. Sometimes people mistake me as being that rowdy and rebellious teenage who has no regard for the rules. So, i’m asking all of you experienced Catholics, would the church accept me with my hair? The last thing I want to do is cut it, but if the church insists I do, I will. Thank you 🙂
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dont sweat it, im 6’2. 300 lbs, have a scruffy beard, and had long hair, an earring, i wear goofy t-shirts, under my farm boy overalls, and i ride my motorcycle to church. ive seen old people reach over and lock their doors when i pull up next to them at a stoplight, but in that most Sacred Presence of Christ, all the suits and ties in the room barely glance at me, all eyes are on Christ.

so if they dont care about my redneck manners, i hardly think that you need be worried. even if they did, i suggest to you that you should be worried what the Almighty Creator of the universe thinks about you, rather than what other creatures do. remember, no matter what station in life one attains, we all wind up in a grave.

dont worry, be happy.

youtube.com/watch?v=d-diB65scQU&feature=fvste1:D
 
How many of the saints, if they walked into our Parish today, would out jaws drop at because of their eccentricities. Really, think about it? How many of his greatest saints were probably unabathed, had long hair or odd ways of doing things. Most were unappreciated in their own era, only to find glory with God in heaven. God has called people from all walks of life, sizes, nationalities, and yes - hair lengths, to be his saints. There is room at the table for you.
 
Don’t worry about it, honey. Half the boys in church will look just like you.
 
This is great! 🙂 Alright, now that’s out of the way I can enjoy the mass without fear of being looked down upon. Thanks so much everybody! 😃
 
QUOTE=moo5009;5570269]This is great! 🙂 Alright, now that’s out of the way I can enjoy the mass without fear of being looked down upon. Thanks so much everybody! 😃

:extrahappy:
 
There’s a vegetarian guy with long hair who goes to the Traditional Latin Mass here sometimes.

There’s Goth Catholic, who is a devout Catholic, and dresses goth. She posts here often.

I know from my own Parish a guy who, well, he’s bald now from a bet but he had pretty wild hair for a while and he’s an active, practicing Catholic.

And the tattoos!

I think it’s great when people who look a little ‘odd’ come to Mass dressed nicely and act respectfully and reverently at Mass. It really shows how our Church unites us and that we don’t fit into a certain mold.
 
moo5009 said:
I think i’m going to be able to attend my very first mass soon. Hopefully soon after i’ll be able to actually join the Catholic Church. I have a few questions about acceptance there though. I’ve always been sort of a misfit. I’m a 15 year old male, and for personal reasons and just plain preference keep my hair long. I’m worried that i’ll be stereotyped as that rebellious teenage punk with the long hair who goes around getting in trouble with the law and such.

That is actually the furthest thing possible from the truth. I’ve never been in any serious trouble, save for the unfortunate event of being caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, I don’t listen to any bad music (I actually don’t listen to any music strangely enough), I have a 3.8 GPA in school, and I generally consider myself to be a wholesome and good person with a creative and artistic view of life.

That being said, I pride myself on my long hair. It shows my individuality, not in a rebellious way, but more in a unique way that makes me feel special about who I am. Sometimes people mistake me as being that rowdy and rebellious teenage who has no regard for the rules. So, i’m asking all of you experienced Catholics, would the church accept me with my hair? The last thing I want to do is cut it, but if the church insists I do, I will. Thank you 🙂
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Good to hear that you will attend Mass soon. I would be interesting to hear about how you came to the Catholic Church. Are you a convert? I think most people would just be happy that you are young and enthusiastic about your faith. There is no rule against long hair in Catholicism. (Heck just look at a Russian Orthodox priest sometime).

It may be off the subject but my only advice is make sure you stay away from groups like the Legionaries of Christ, Opus Dei, Miles Jesu or other orders that like to recruit people at a young age by telling them that their salvation depends on a vocation to their group. Get your college education first, then think about a vocation. I have friends that are ex-members of two these groups and they are having a horrible experience now.

Groups such as the FSSP and ICKSP tend to me more balanced in their approach to vocation and don’t tend to pressure young people to join from what I have heard.
 
Opus Dei is a personal prelature of the JPII, they are officially in good standing with the Church, and their founder is Saint Jose Maria Escriva, opusdei.org/. i am not a member, nor do i know any member of Opus Dei, i just think that opinion should be balanced with the churches official position on Opus Dei. you should do your own research, every group has detractors, and adherents, so make up your own mind.
 
warpspeedpetey said:
Opus Dei is a personal prelature of the JPII, they are officially in good standing with the Church,
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So what? And Pope Benedict just praised Teilhard De Chardin. A group is not immune from criticism because they are “approved”. Approval of groups is a matter of discipline not of doctrine. The Legion was also in “good standing with the Church” for many years. Let’s not be naive. The Church is not infallible in these matters.

Cardinal Mahoney is “in good standing with the Church” too.
 
Tradycja said:
So what? And Pope Benedict just praised Teilhard De Chardin. A group is not immune from criticism because they are “approved”. Approval of groups is a matter of discipline not of doctrine. The Legion was also in “good standing with the Church” for many years. Let’s not be naive. The Church is not infallible in these matters.

Cardinal Mahoney is “in good standing with the Church” too.
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yes, every group has critics, and you are free to criticize, but while thay are in the good graces of the Holy See, i have no problem with them. but i radically oppose cafeteria Catholicism, we are required to be obedient at all costs. its all ot nothing in my mind, though your mileage may vary. this kid is only 15, but he is capable of making up his own mind free of adult persuasion. let the Church be his guide.
 
excelsus said:
The reason for this is found in 1 Corinthians 11:14, which says “Doth not even nature itself teach you that a man indeed, if he nourish [that is, grow long] his hair, it is a shame unto him?” I don’t know of our modern view of this, but I have to admit that I am guilty of this certain judging of people 😦 I am trying to stop though…

But, nobody is going to kick you out, and we’re much more glad to have you here than not no matter what you look like! 🙂
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Exactly, more important than what you look like is your intention for coming to Church. IMHO, when people get too caught up in making sure everything looks and runs perfectly, they instead lose focus on most important fact. The fact that we are God’s creation, and that he deserves our worship.

Don’t get me wrong, if one can spare a little bit of effort to make sure things look presentable and that everything runs smoothly, than that is well and good. God deserves that and far more. But if lose focus then such a thing would be worthless. In the spirit of prudence, you might wish to pick a parish that is more liberal (in God’s eyes, one parish is likely no different from another) and accepting of your long hair. No point unnecessarily offending someone’s sensibilities after all. Ultimately though, it is where you feel most comfortable to practice your faith that is important.
 
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