Flopfoot:
If you are angry at someone but you don’t take your anger out on them then is it still wrong? Does it depend on how you express your anger as to whether its ok or not? Does it depend on whether your anger is justified, and whether or not your angry at the right person? Can your anger be ‘wrong’ or ‘not recommended’ but not be a sin?
Hi there Flopfoot…anger is never caused by another but by our own attitude and perspective. Why if a person says something am I angry and another person not when what the person has said is not an insult or attempt to hurt me? My anger is flowing from my own attitude and perspective on what the person has said.
Why if someone does insult me am I angry and on another occasion laugh: my own perspective and attitude at the time.
No one can make us anything! We need to own our own emotions.
I’ll have a go at responding to your questions:
If you are angry at someone but you don’t take your anger out on them then is it still wrong?
No, it is not sinful or wrong. Emotions of themselves are neither right nor wrong. It is what we do with our emotions that make them right or wrong.
Does it depend on how you express your anger as to whether its ok or not?
Quite simply, yes as in my answer to your first question.
Does it depend on how angry you feel as to whether its ok or not?
No…as I said emotions are neither right nor wrong no matter their intensity. I can make myself angry by deliberately thinking angry thoughts however. But it is not the anger that is wrong then, but the thoughts which have motivated the anger.
Can your anger be ‘wrong’ or ‘not recommended’ but not be a sin?
Yes, you are quite correct. My anger can be wrong because it is entirely unjustified our out of proportion to my relevant situation at the time. This does not make it sinful, simply not hitting the mark as it were. A fault or imperfection and I for one am full of these.
An emotion of itself is never sinful. The thoughts I had which created my anger may well be, or what I choose to do with my anger can be sinful too.
Allowing myself to be angry (which still comes from my thoughts) may not be recommended in that as an example, I may get very angry with a person and often perhaps say because they are always asking me for money. Another person may say to me “Dont be angry with him - he is very very poor” Then my anger is not recommended or indeed justified in the light of the new facts I now have about that person.
The expression of anger is somewhat of a risky business (I am talking about anger, not rage) because if I am angry and state whatever in an angry way, the person to whom I speak will be so concentrated on dealing with my anger that they may not hear at all the content of what I am saying, which is really what I want them to deal with not my anger.
Even some of our saints have experienced problems with anger or some temptation. Just as a temptation of itself is not sinful, neither is anger…but what I do about them. Of course I can put myself into a position of temptation and then I am very wrong and probably sinful if I have done it deliberately…just as my anger can come from angry thoughts, and then my thoughts are sinful to some degree and not the anger itself.
There is a thread on anger on the following link if you are interested:
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=88432
Barb