How are you a good Catholic example to your non-Catholic family?

[MooCowSteph]

My husband and I are both practicing, reverent, dedicated Catholics. My husband’s family is largely secular. He and his sisters were raised with very little religion in their lives. One sister is married to a Catholic and their children are being raised Catholic, but they are really CINO. I just don’t know what we can do to be good Catholic influences on our family, helping to spread the joy we have in the Catholic faith. We don’t discuss religion too often, as no one is interested in it. The adults tend to do things like see movies which we would find morally offensive, and sometimes allow the children to see such movies and TV as well. We’re thought of as odd because we don’t want to see movies like the Wedding Crashers for moral reasons. The kids are allowed to mess around and play in church. The parents have really seems to impart an attitude of “this is what we have to do (go to Mass). You may not like it, but too bad, you’re going”. There is no spiritual nourishment for the children. We just really want to share our faith with them, and aside from praying like crazy, I just don’t know what to do. So how do you share your faith with your friends and family?

 

[LSK]

I make it a point to talk excitedly about the wonders of the Faith. I try not to dominate the conversation, but if something like going to Mass comes up, I will say things like “what I find absolutely fascinating about going to Mass is realizing the deep symbolism in every guesture, every prayer and every reading. To think that a first century member of St. Peter’s Church in Antioch could walk into our 10:30am Mass at St. Whoever’s and recognize immediately what is happening…that gives me goose bumps.”

At the begining people just went “oh. uh huh. yeah”. Eventually someone asks a question. If it ever gets a little, uh, hostile (how do you know the Mass is the same? How come it’s changed?) I can say, “You know, I don’t really have an answer for you. I’ll find out, ok?” and then you have an opening the next time!

In other words, focus on the JOYS OF OUR FAITH and not the AWFUL things they may be doing…does that make sense?

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

MooCowSteph:

So how do you share your faith with your friends and family?

Unfortunately I am the type of person who can come off as “superior” or “holier than thou” when defending my faith. So for me, I have to bite my tongue more often than not.

I really do not feel as though I am better than family who is not Catholic, but it tends to be taken that way and my message is lost.

So I just try to be an example. My family is starting to recongnize how important being Catholic is to me. They are not hostile towards it so I feel like if I do things right I have a chance of opening their hearts to conversion.

I also pray for them alot.

They have noticed a drastic change in me since my conversion. I can only describe it as in inner peace. I am alot less stressed out, less negaitve, deal more easily with tough situations etc. It is only a matter of time (and a few well placed comments) that they will realize that it is a direct result of my faith.

I realize that I can’t change anyone but myself. So I really try not to argue with them. If they have a legitimate question I will try to answer as best I can. I keep reinforcing that being Catholic does equate being perfect…far from it. They are starting to understand that it is a lifelong journey of learning and experience.

I doubt that I am going about this in the best way, but as I learn I will adapt. All I know is that pointing out their flaws and sins is NOT the way to win them over, lol.

Malia

 

[MooCowSteph]

Feanaro's Wife:

Unfortunately I am the type of person who can come off as “superior” or “holier than thou” when defending my faith. So for me, I have to bite my tongue more often than not.

I really do not feel as though I am better than family who is not Catholic, but it tends to be taken that way and my message is lost.

This is my fear as well. I do not want my family to think that I think I’m better than them. I do not think that. I try to be a good example of moral behavior. I discuss things at my church to let them know being active in the parish can be enjoyable. And I do pray a lot. I just wish I could come up with ways to discuss religion more often. Whenever it seems like their is an opening, I just don’t know what to say without sounding holier than thou.

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

MooCowSteph:

This is my fear as well. I do not want my family to think that I think I’m better than them. I do not think that. I try to be a good example of moral behavior. I discuss things at my church to let them know being active in the parish can be enjoyable. And I do pray a lot. I just wish I could come up with ways to discuss religion more often. Whenever it seems like their is an opening, I just don’t know what to say without sounding holier than thou.

Maybe try what I try to do (although not as often as I should, but I’m getting better).

Pray ahead of time that the Holy Spirit will guide you in what to say (or not say) if the subject comes up.

I am slowly learning the meaning of “with God, anything is possible”.

And most of all, be a nice fun person to be around. Nobody wants to be around the person who only ever talks about their religion (or themselves).

Discuss the movies that you do see, joke around, and just be yourself. Make it a point to ask about their lives etc and focus on the positive.

Could be something small like how well behaved their child was during dinner or something big like how much you admire a certain quality of theirs (hardworker for example).

I know I haven’t been much help, but sometimes it’s good to just know that you aren’t the only person dealing with something. You are definitely not alone.

Malia

 

[beckyann2597]

My dad is the only protestant in our entire family. He is remarried to a Presbyterian lady and I think the way to be a good example of my faith is to know my stuff so I can defend myself. I was talking to then one day about baby names and how a friend of mine wanted to name her son Luke, but her SIL took the name. She already has a Mark ,a Leo and a Lorenzo. My dad says–Oh Is she just going to name the kids after* all * the gospels! Matthew, Mark, Leo and Luke!" I siad, Very kindly, “No dad, it Mathew Mark Luke and John and They only have Mark–none of the other ones.”
I think his wife was impressed, you know, me - a Catholic- knowing the gospels?!?

 

[puzzleannie]

I’m so-so, my demeanor, attitude, personality don’t always reflect what I believe, but my husband is super. If anybody on his side or my side returns to the Church it will because of his unwavering faith and practice of Gospel values in all aspects of his life. he does more evangelizing at work, golf, ball games, family picnics than I do running CCD.

 

[Katie1723]

Feanaro's Wife:

…They have noticed a drastic change in me since my conversion. I can only describe it as in inner peace. I am alot less stressed out, less negaitve, deal more easily with tough situations etc. It is only a matter of time (and a few well placed comments) that they will realize that it is a direct result of my faith.

I realize that I can’t change anyone but myself. So I really try not to argue with them. If they have a legitimate question I will try to answer as best I can. I keep reinforcing that being Catholic does equate being perfect…far from it. They are starting to understand that it is a lifelong journey of learning and experience.

I doubt that I am going about this in the best way, but as I learn I will adapt. All I know is that pointing out their flaws and sins is NOT the way to win them over, lol.

Malia

Although I am not a CONvert, but rather a REvert, the same can be said for me. I don’t “preach” but I am willing to answer questions. And if i don’t know , I say so and then ask my priest.

        I didn't realize how much of what I did hit home with my children until my 29 y/o son asked if I "minded" if he'd accompany me to RCIA classes. He has called me a "goody 2 shoes" in good nature because I seem so "at peace" and I have standards and expect the same of others.He wishes he could be like me(so he says! :D )
         I am not perfect, and the journey I am on has not been easy. But, yes, I am happy and at least to some I have been a good example.
                     ~ Kathy ~

 

[jd121961]

Hello,

I’m not Catholic, but I think the best way to show Christ is to have an understanding heart and a praying heart. Not everyone accepts Jesus as readily as some. Be a loving and carring example. Here is a link to a person who had an understanding and praying heart.
ewtn.com/motherteresa/words.htm

 

[beckyann2597]

jd121961:

Hello,

I’m not Catholic, but I think the best way to show Christ is to have an understanding heart and a praying heart. Not everyone accepts Jesus as readily as some. Be a loving and carring example. Here is a link to a person who had an understanding and praying heart.
ewtn.com/motherteresa/words.htm

Exactly JD! Just like that famous St. Francis quote:
Preach tha Gospel Always, If necessary use words.

 

[LSK]

Beckyann, you quoted a gem! Thank you!

It is difficult. We have a very difficult poster on the boards right now. Uses sarcasm, is rather superior and rude, reminds me of the kind of nasty professors I had at college who not only liked to correct people but correct them in a way that could hurt their feelings…in other words, a bully. I have to find ways to answer his questions and NOT respond to the sarcasm and taunts. It is a challenge, but it is something the Church tells us to try and do.

Pray for me, gang!

 

[MooCowSteph]

Thank you all. :yup: Mother Teresa’s writings are indeed very uplifting and inspiring. In fact, we’ve chosen Teresa as one of our favorite middle names for our (maybe) daughter, Julie, to be born in January. (we don’t know for sure if I’m having a boy or girl).