How are you? responses

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DisorientingSneeze

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I was listening to someone tell a story in which the question: how are you? Was answered with: If I were any better I’d be twins!

Have you ever heard or used any clever/unusual answers to this question that is so often rapid smalltalk?
 
  • Happy as a hog in poop.
  • If I had a tail I’d be wagging it now.
  • “Quite well today, thank you for asking good sir…” followed by a monologue
  • The voices in my head say I’m well.
 
You don’t want to know.
Or
Have you got a spare half hour?
Or
So, my psychologist tells me that my psychiatrist is an illusion.
Or
All the better for seeing you (brownie point scorer)
Or
Scientifically speaking?
Or
That’s too deep a question
Or
Is this a stick up?
Or
That’s a good/hard/tricky question
Or
As right as rain
Or
Over the moon
Or
as happy as Larry

I could ramble on forever, please don’t ask me how I am again 🤣
 
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I sometimes use, “Better than some; not as good as others!”, or “This is the happiest I’ve ever been with all my clothes on!”
 
  • “How are you?”
  • “Fine, until I was bothered by YOU” 🤨
 
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Do you really want to know? 😐:frowning_face_with_open_mouth:😧😮😲
 
When someone asks me that in a work meeting, I usually respond with something like, “I’m awake, and I’m here.”
 
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“I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.” ☠️

…

“Why do you ask?” 🤨
 
In my best Carl from “Slingblade” voice:

I reckon I’d be better if I had me some taters n’ mustard. MmmHmmm…
 
I have a friend who says that all the time.

I just had a conversation with someone about this the other day. So many people say, “I’m doing good” instead of “I’m doing well.” And “well” is correct because it’s an adverb rather than an adjective. So he said you could say “I’m doing goodly” since adding -ly makes anything an adverb. 😆 That’s the line I’ll be using from now on. 😉
 
I am great because every meal is a feast and every paycheck is a fortune.
 
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