How Can Any Christian Be Happy? (Need Help)

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Steven87

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I have recently within the last few months rejoined my catholic faith, the only reason was the fear of hell, and I know how selfish that sounds but it is the truth. If I knew that no matter what I did and I would still get into heaven (like some protestants believe) I would have done just that. I would have sinned till I was blue in the face. I would have had a conscience,( so I would never have murdered someone or anything like that.)

The fact is that it has gotten so bad that I live in fear everyday that I will be going to hell, I have done some extremely horrible things that haunt me to this day and that i am still struggling with to this day. I just recently thought some very blasphemous thoughts that I will not talk about here because I don’t want anyone thinking the same thing.

I am miserable, I do nothing but fear hell. I honestly feel like I have backstabbed God so many times that he will not be able to forgive me. And that I feel I am not worthy of such forgiveness.

I cannot stop thinking about myself, I always put myself before God. When I sin I don’t think “I have offended God”, I think “Great, down the one way road to hell once again”. And I don’t know how to handle this. I am in constant fear to the point where I don’t enjoy some things that I used to because of this fear.

I am selfish and I really don’t think I am repenting because I love God but because I fear hell so much. and that seriously makes me want to break down right here and now.

How do I get over this? I ask God to give me more time to come to love him and for him to help me through these struggles, but I am really starting to think everything is pointless sometimes and that I will end up in hell anyways.

What is wrong with me? Can anyone help me or give me some kind of advice that will make me less of a mess? I really need help! BADLY…
 
Steven,

You are a human being and suffer from the same human frailties that all other human beings are prone to. Please rejoice in your return to the faith, even if you are returning for fear of hell. That is only a beginning. God is calling you and loves you more than you can imagine. He sent Jesus, His divine son, to die for you. He would have done this even if you were the only person in the whole world.

God wants you to be saved even more than you do. His love is like a consuming fire and it has no bounds. His divine mercy is such that no sin is too great. Let your sense of guilt be viewed as a healthy conscience that is simply calling you to leave sin and love God. Pray for God’s mercy and simply repent of your sins. See a priest and receive absolution in confession. Let God’s mercy and love fill your heart and soul.

Love God with your whole heart, mind, soul, and strength. Ask God to remove those things in your life that hinder your love for Him. Replace all of your fear of hell with love and thanksgiving toward God. You are not alone my friend. I too have sinned against the Lord. We all have. Yet we can be sure that the forgiveness of God is there for us. He will never abandon us.

Prayer is essential. Pray during every spare moment you have. The moment you awake in the morning say a prayer of thanksgiving and dedicate your day to God. The moment you finish one task or activity, fill the transition period with a prayer. Do this all day long, every day of your life. Pray that the Lord will fill your heart with the love He has for you. Be confident and thankful. God does not disappoint us inspite of our trials.

Hell is something to fear because it means total separation from God. Our hell begins here on earth if we separate ourselves from God. Get to know the one you love. Spend as much time before the Blessed Sacrament as you can. Do things that require sacrifice on your part for the one you love. Spend time with the Lord. Love the Lord.
 
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Steven87:
What is wrong with me? Can anyone help me or give me some kind of advice that will make me less of a mess? I really need help! BADLY…
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It sounds like what is wrong with you, is that you are honest and observant about your own feelings.

As you suggested, the constant fear of hell is not My Favorite Reason for believing in spirituality at all, including Catholicism. Frankly I don’t respond well to threats, at least in my heart.

What I have found is that I can have a very deep faith, free from paranoia. Contemplative prayer techniques and other wonderful offerings of the Church, plus listening to many non-Catholic spiritual speakers such as Deepak Chopra, and philosophers such as Alan Watts, have helped me get my own head on straight. I went from having severe bipolar illness to having an incredibly peaceful time right now.

I have no fear of hell anymore, because I find it isn’t useful for me. If I’m doing something destructive, I want to quit it because it’s destructive and not that I’m allegedly going to maybe get punished in the future.

What I did find, is that if you kick it up a notch of abstraction, you can be selfish and Christian too. You have to lose your “self” which I call the false self which it you emotional infrastructure, as Christ said we must deny our very selves. In so doing, I have found a great joy and my “self” has found peace by taking away its power to override my good senses by clinging to ideas and idols and fears from the past and clouding my present judgment. It’s funny that when I quit letting my worldly “self” be in charge of my feelings, and started replacing my thoughts with ever expanding truth, the self actually likes it – a whooole lot.

Alan
 
Taken from an answer that I had given on another post, which I believe also applies here as well:
FiremanFrank

It is spiritually healthy that one should NOT BECOME overly confident about one own’s salvation (because to do otherwise, would be inviting in the “sin of presumption”).

But this “fear” must be tempered steadily by faith and hope …

Lest one falls into “hope-less-ness”.
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To be sorry for your sins because of a fear of Hell, is called imperfect contrition. As opposed to perfect contrition which is a sorrow because of love of God and a desire to not offend Him. Through the Sacrament of Reconciliation, the Church teaches that imperfect contrition is sufficient to receive absolution for your sins.

Be patient with yourself as God is patient with you. It will take time and effort on your part combined with the Grace of God to rid yourself of a lifetime of ingrained habits. Remember that if God so chooses He can make you perfect in an instant, but sometimes in His Love for us He allows us to struggle in our sins for our good, and His glory. Pray for confidence in God, this will preserve you from despair.

Trust Him.
 
Pray for faith Steven; faith to believe God when he said he came for us sinners, faith to believe Him when he said he forgives us, anf faith in the reality of the sacrament of Penance.
 
May I suggest that you seek guidence from your spiritual director or your priest? Your post indicates that you realize your concerns may seem a bit overwhelming, and talking to someone about may lessen that burden a bit. Also, are you involved in your parish? I have also recently returned to the church, and after joining in a couple of parish activities and retreats, I have met many faithful living joyously their Christian faith. They have made a strong example for me, and my priest has been wonderful in reassuring my own faith when concerns of my own salvation came into question.

If it does get very overwhelming, you may want to see counseling from a Catholic therapist.

The Lord be with you, Steven; may His mercy shine down on you!
:blessyou:
 
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Steven87:
I have recently within the last few months rejoined my catholic faith, the only reason was the fear of hell, and I know how selfish that sounds but it is the truth. If I knew that no matter what I did and I would still get into heaven (like some protestants believe) I would have done just that. I would have sinned till I was blue in the face. I would have had a conscience,( so I would never have murdered someone or anything like that.)

The fact is that it has gotten so bad that I live in fear everyday that I will be going to hell, I have done some extremely horrible things that haunt me to this day and that i am still struggling with to this day. I just recently thought some very blasphemous thoughts that I will not talk about here because I don’t want anyone thinking the same thing.

I am miserable, I do nothing but fear hell. I honestly feel like I have backstabbed God so many times that he will not be able to forgive me. And that I feel I am not worthy of such forgiveness.

I cannot stop thinking about myself, I always put myself before God. When I sin I don’t think “I have offended God”, I think “Great, down the one way road to hell once again”. And I don’t know how to handle this. I am in constant fear to the point where I don’t enjoy some things that I used to because of this fear.

I am selfish and I really don’t think I am repenting because I love God but because I fear hell so much. and that seriously makes me want to break down right here and now.

How do I get over this? I ask God to give me more time to come to love him and for him to help me through these struggles, but I am really starting to think everything is pointless sometimes and that I will end up in hell anyways.

What is wrong with me? Can anyone help me or give me some kind of advice that will make me less of a mess? I really need help! BADLY…
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Hmm… 😦

I don’t really know… I’ve never been there.

I do remember crying myself to sleep over sin, but it never pierced so deep that I thought i was eternally hell-bound.

Hmmmmmmmm…

Pray for you!

I would reccomned the Chaplet of Divine Mercy.
 
Please read Psalm 136 and remember,

“His mercy endures forever”

God Bless!
-Siena
 
This feeling will pass if you persevere. Judas gave up…that was his biggest sin. Don’t give up! You didn’t commit all your sins in a day, don’t expect the healing to take place any faster. Fr. Corapi explains that sin is like a nail in a piece of wood. The sin (the nail) itself can be removed thru confession, but what remains is the wound (the hole in the wood)…that takes some time to heal.

Pray for understanding of Divine Mercy. How many times did Jesus say that though your sins be as scarlet, He can make them white. Even if Hitler asked for forgiveness with a sincere heart, his sins would be forgiven as well.

Your “imperfect contrition” (fear of hell) is an excellent start. Go to confession often-monthly or more, receive the Holy Eucharist weekly or more, read the lives of saints—that’ll help a lot!
Hang in there. You have the makings of a great saint if you just don’t give up! It was for ***you * ** that Jesus came into the world. By returning to God, all of heaven is doing a happy-dance. If you go to confession, God will forget all that past stuff, no matter how horrible. Meditate on the story of the prodigal son. Look at paintings depicting that story. No parent turns away a child that is truly sorry, especially the most perfect parent-God. Not only does God want you back, He’s holding you in His arms right now.

To ease the guilt, I found that fasting often and kneeling for an hour during adoration (in addition to lots of crying) helped the wound heal quicker. Also, if you’re able, volunteer to help the needy…get your thoughts off your own problems. Best medicine in the world.

p.s. Since you’re human, you *will * continue to screw up… it’s the way of things. Sometimes 1 step forward, 3 steps back. St. Faustina kept a record of her failures vs. her achievements. Sometimes her daily failures outweighed her achievements, and she was so very holy! This is where it takes guts to keep on trying. Persevere!!! Have courage!! Grit your teeth!!! Get tough!!! Sounds like the military, eh?

Keep us updated with your progress. We’re here if you need more encouragement.
 
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itsallgrace:
This feeling will pass if you persevere. Judas gave up…that was his biggest sin. Don’t give up! You didn’t commit all your sins in a day, don’t expect the healing to take place any faster. Fr. Corapi explains that sin is like a nail in a piece of wood. The sin (the nail) itself can be removed thru confession, but what remains is the wound (the hole in the wood)…that takes some time to heal.

Pray for understanding of Divine Mercy. How many times did Jesus say that though your sins be as scarlet, He can make them white. Even if Hitler asked for forgiveness with a sincere heart, his sins would be forgiven as well.

Your “imperfect contrition” (fear of hell) is an excellent start. Go to confession often-monthly or more, receive the Holy Eucharist weekly or more, read the lives of saints—that’ll help a lot!
Hang in there. You have the makings of a great saint if you just don’t give up! It was for ***you *** that Jesus came into the world. By returning to God, all of heaven is doing a happy-dance. If you go to confession, God will forget all that past stuff, no matter how horrible. Meditate on the story of the prodigal son. Look at paintings depicting that story. No parent turns away a child that is truly sorry, especially the most perfect parent-God. Not only does God want you back, He’s holding you in His arms right now.

To ease the guilt, I found that fasting often and kneeling for an hour during adoration (in addition to lots of crying) helped the wound heal quicker. Also, if you’re able, volunteer to help the needy…get your thoughts off your own problems. Best medicine in the world.

p.s. Since you’re human, you *will * continue to screw up… it’s the way of things. Sometimes 1 step forward, 3 steps back. St. Faustina kept a record of her failures vs. her achievements. Sometimes her daily failures outweighed her achievements, and she was so very holy! This is where it takes guts to keep on trying. Persevere!!! Have courage!! Grit your teeth!!! Get tough!!! Sounds like the military, eh?

Keep us updated with your progress. We’re here if you need more encouragement.
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I think my recommendation had an effect on the posts

The mention of Sister Faustina and the mention of Divine Mercy…
 
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Steven87:
I have recently within the last few months rejoined my catholic faith, …-------------------- 👍 …(God called you back home Steven and you responded!!)
So, let’s not compare ourselves with other’s, God knows which of us is the worse sinner, and which of us is contrite and He knows how to deal with us too, just let HIM, (we can’t do it, but He can.) Read the Bible, the Cathechism, pray, go to Adoration, Confession often, Mass as often as you can, pray the rosary daily, pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, pray in all things, read about the lives of the Saints, wow, St. Agustine was a real eye-opener before he became a Saint. We’re all sinners Steven and God knew it long before we were even here, He loves us so much He even died for us so that we might have life.

(Quit thinking negatively and enjoy the fact that God loves you, yep, even you, even me, He loves us all, heaven rejoices over one repentant sinner.) Rome wasn’t built in a day, be patient, even with yourself. As long as you are working on it, I think that God knows your heart, let Him be God, and you be the repentant sinner. —(works for me.)

It’s pretty evident to me Steven that since you fear hell so much, that you do not want to spend any time there at all, pray the prayer of St. Michael the Arch Angel, (if you don’t know it, let us know, we’ll type it out here and refer you to great sites that its on.)It’s probably even on this site somewhere, do a search.-------

Then you asked this Steven-----How do I get over this? I ask God to give me more time to come to love him and for him to help me through these struggles, but I am really starting to think everything is pointless sometimes and that I will end up in hell anyways.----see paragraph one above. 😃

STeven, then you asked----What is wrong with me?----- (NOTHING, you are a human being). We are in the flesh, we are prone to sin, we need God’s help because we can’t do it without His grace. None of us can do it without Him Steven, we are all in this spiritual struggle Steven, just keep moving forward, one step at a time, with God on your side, who can fail??(He’s already called you home).
So Steven, when you said this…Can anyone help me or give me some kind of advice that will make me less of a mess? I really need help! BADLY…
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--------I thought, this is one guy that needs to know that God loves you, He is helping you, even if you don’t know it or can’t see it, He even knows your fears, just stay close to Him, avail yourself of the Sacraments, and if you can, do something for others like an earlier poster said, it helps to keep your mind off of yourself and think of others, (stay out of your head, live in the world.) God loves you and we will pray for you to realize this, keep up the good work -----I bet asking for help was a big step for you too, God bless you and one last thing Steven, ask the Blessed Mother to pray for you, (she is already, I am sure, but just talk to her sometimes and ask her to pray for you, she is a great intercessor, she does quick work.) Let us know how you’re doing, we care!!
 
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