How can I be a good godparent to the child of lapsed parents

[MockSock]

I haven’t been on this site for ages because I was embarrassed but anyway I can’t find the answer to this question anywhere so I’m back.

I recently acted as a godfather to my nephew but I don’t know how I can do everything that is required of me because: 1, his mother (my sister) is lapsed; 2, his father is an atheist as far as I know; 3, I live 150 miles away.
His godmother is not a practicing Catholic either.

 

[CRV]

Welcome back!

Firstly, pray for both the parents and for your nephew.

Secondly, have Masses offered for them all, for the parents conversion and for your nephew to be strong in the Faith.

Thirdley, you can send small gifts to your nephew at Christmas and Easter and on his birthday and the anniversary of his Baptism. Little books about God, or a Childrens Bible, or a prayer book - there are various ones suitable for all ages. When he makes his First Holy Communion and Confirmation (I’m being hopeful here), go and attend as you did when invited to be the godfather for him. Obviously as he grows appropriate things will vary according to age.

My sister who is my godmother and sponsor for my Confirmation lived in another country for about 6 yrs and would send holy cards, a special set of rosary beads, a small crucifix for my room etc.

Hope these suggestions help.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

Prayer and fasting.

 

[Dan_Defender]

Obviously if they asked you to be the godfather they are not anti-Catholic. So this is a golden opportunity to make the best of encouraging the true faith in your nephew. Pray for guidance and take one day at a time. Do as much as you can.

 

[MockSock]

Thank you, all very helpful replies. I was at a loss.

May I ask one followup question?

When he makes his First Holy Communion and Confirmation (I’m being hopeful here),

I understand you’re being optimistic, but how am I supposed to get him to the stage where he would be receiving communion if he doesn’t come to Mass? Should I take him from his parents every Sunday? They don’t even like me holding him because of an unrelated issue.

 

[CRV]

I was assuming your nephew is a baby, so I am hopeful that in the time between now and then, some things may have changed in the situation, ideally your sister returning to the Church. But assuming that she and her husband approached a priest about getting him baptized, perhaps if there was a Baptizm prep class, and as they consented to his Baptizm - knowing all that is expected of her /them, that they’ll look after his religious upbringing.

You also say you live 150 miles away, so a 300 mile trip every weekend?

Have you talked about any of this with them? See if they’re on board with all this?

As often as you can visit, talk about God, Jesus and Mary, read picture books (hopefully mum will read them too) and both you and she can teach him his first prayers.

If your sister is receptive perhaps as he is closer to that age, you could raise the issue with her. Or when visiting suggest she comes to Church with you…

At the end of the day his parents are responsible for his religious upbringing, and if she won’t permit you to help in this, then you have to accept that, but continue to pray, fast and keep an eye open for any opportunity to help with this.

Also they may be open to sending him to a Catholic school, which would help in these matters.

 

[MockSock]

Thanks, I will talk to her about it when he’s a bit older. Its just that as I see it, his spiritual wellbeing is completely on me at the moment, but obviously he’s not at the age of reason.

Also 300 miles is considered quite a long way here :uk: Especially given the fact I don’t drive, it takes 2 days just to travel that far on the coach because it goes all around the houses. I certainly couldn’t do it every weekend. On the other hand what’s that compared to eternal life? Or the opposite.

Hopefully they had him baptised for the proper reasons, but I am worried that it was just so they would have more options for schools when they need them. As you say, this isn’t entirely a bad thing though, as it may be his only chance for a Catholic education.