How can I best help?

[Katie1723]

Last evening my 28 y/o son came to me to “talk”. Long story…short version… He’s been feeling a void in his life and has decided that it may be time to return to the faith he grew up with.Or as he put it “time to talk to the Man upstairs” I listened mostly and offered a few suggestions, like he accompany me to Mass this evening for starters. I don’t want to be too aggressive as this can drive someone away, yet I want to encourage him as I can see he needs “something” to hold on to as he struggles with things( some I know, some he says he needs to think about).
Any thoughts as to how I can best help and encourage him, without being too pushy?
Many thanks,
~ Kathy ~

 

[mercygate]

Katie1723:

Last evening my 28 y/o son came to me to “talk”. Long story…short version… He’s been feeling a void in his life and has decided that it may be time to return to the faith he grew up with.Or as he put it “time to talk to the Man upstairs” I listened mostly and offered a few suggestions, like he accompany me to Mass this evening for starters. I don’t want to be too aggressive as this can drive someone away, yet I want to encourage him as I can see he needs “something” to hold on to as he struggles with things( some I know, some he says he needs to think about).
Any thoughts as to how I can best help and encourage him, without being too pushy?
Many thanks,
~ Kathy ~

Leave him alone. The Holy Spirit has him by the neck hairs. Assure him of your prayers – maybe ask him to join you when you go to Church in the ordinary way . . . Send him here?

 

[Scout]

Katie1723:

Last evening my 28 y/o son came to me to “talk”. Long story…short version… He’s been feeling a void in his life and has decided that it may be time to return to the faith he grew up with.Or as he put it “time to talk to the Man upstairs” I listened mostly and offered a few suggestions, like he accompany me to Mass this evening for starters. I don’t want to be too aggressive as this can drive someone away, yet I want to encourage him as I can see he needs “something” to hold on to as he struggles with things( some I know, some he says he needs to think about).
Any thoughts as to how I can best help and encourage him, without being too pushy?
Many thanks,
~ Kathy ~

Pray for him (which I’m sure you’re doing already). You might also ask him how you can help him. That will put the ball in his court and you won’t have to do so much guess-work.

Scout :tiphat:

 

[awalt]

I would add to this advice talk to him - just start by asking simple questions, like how did he like the Mass, did any part of it appeal to him vs. some other part, etc. - take a cue from how he responds whether he wants to talk more, more deeply, more seriously, or not at all. In other words, the innocent conversational approach. That way you are staying close to him but not pushing too hard unless he gives signals he wants to do more with you.

Good luck and I’ll pray for you both!

 

[Dr.Colossus]

I don’t know about concrete advice, but something you’ll definitely want to try to do is help him feel that talking about God and faith is normal. People who have been away from the Church for a while or who have never really been serious about faith in general can be as nervous and embarassed talking about it as 15-year-olds are about sex. If he can feel comfortable just bringing up faith questions with you on a whim, he’ll have a much easier time returning to God.

 

[stbruno]

Wow! You must have been jumping for joy inside when he told you! My suggestion is this: Invite him to go with you to confession and then out for lunch together. Make it an outing. Check with your diocese if there is an active Young Adults Ministry in your parish or diocese. Every summer in the Chicago archdiocese, they have Theology on Tap for 20-30 yr.olds. It is a great resource for exploring your faith and how it meets them in their every day life. It is also outside of the regular mass…with speakers and activities that might fill that void he so much seems to be longing for. It also provides opportunities for volunteer service in many areas. Their website is yamchicago.org/ Check out if there is one in your diocese as well. Our diocese is celebrating 25yrs. of young adult ministry.

 

[Island_Oak]

stbruno:

Wow! You must have been jumping for joy inside when he told you! Check with your diocese if there is an active Young Adults Ministry in your parish or diocese. Every summer in the Chicago archdiocese, they have Theology on Tap for 20-30 yr.olds. It is a great resource for exploring your faith and how it meets them in their every day life…QUOTE]

A great resource and opportunity for peer support (plus it’s usually a lot of fun!!)

 

[Katie1723]

I want to thank all of you for your wonderful suggestions. I feel like I just had a nice conversation with a great bunch of friends! It’ll be slow going for him at first, this I know. And I suppose I can best serve by example. Funny thing is, last year was a real turn around for me. And having my faith has been the best medicine. My partner recently returned to his faith ( he is SDA, but I’m working on him ! ) and now my son has shown interest in the Catholic faith again. So I guess I am doing something right!
Thanks again for everything!
~ Kathy ~

 

[MistyF]

You know, one of the best things that my boyfriend has done for me since I started looking into the Catholic faith was to listen. He always let me go on and on, in all of my excitement, and was excited for me. I learned at my own pace, he made my excitement even more enjoyable. He’s been a great resource for questions, even when I send him a text message at 2 am asking why someone said they saw people Speaking in Tongues at Mass.

He answers my questions, and shares in my joy, but never tried to lay the road out for me - the path was my own.

 

[stbruno]

One more thing…perhaps, you can get a subscription to a good Catholic magazine that might interest him. Catholic Digest is a good start but there are lots of them out there.