T
Therese20
Guest
My husband and I have been living apart since late December. I guess it’s been an informal separation. However, since that time and amid the COVID-19 pandemic, we’re on the road to reconciliation. We had been temporarily staying with my mom due to financial reasons before he moved out, and now it’s just my mom, my kids and I at her home. I’m pregnant with our fourth baby who’s due in June, and I haven’t been able to work because of COVID-19. Thankfully, this is my last semester of college and I’ll be receiving my diploma in May. That’s the only hope I have right now in terms of getting out of this financial situation. My husband has his degree, and has an interview lined up. He’s also going to start working at our local grocery store to help tithe him over. Anyway, we have the situation set up to where he gets the kids every few days. When the pandemic occurred and he was furloughed from his job, he had more free time and I started letting him see the kids more. My mom has let me know on more than one occasion that she thinks I allow him to have the kids longer than he should, that I should fight for more time. I’ve already explained to her my reasoning for my seemingly lack of fight for the kids. He and I spent so much time being combative when we first became separated. I spoke with an attorney without him even knowing. After much time time and prayer I’ve realized so many things about myself: I’m very defensive and I often impulsively react. Now that’s we’re making amends, I don’t want to fight anymore, especially not about our children. God has given me the grace to recognize issues that are worth fighting over versus those which are petty. My mom and family have seen my husband at his worst and understandably worry about me. They aren’t thrilled about our reconciling, but respect my decision. However, it’s been difficult with my mom. I try my best to be respectful, because I love her and I’m living in her home, but even though she denies it, she questions my judgement as a mom almost constantly, in little ways. It’s almost as if she can’t help giving her (name removed by moderator)ut in every situation. She’s a very loving grandma and mom, and I’m grateful to God for her, but she can be a little bossy. Growing up, she wore the pants in the family. This afternoon she told me that she doesn’t want me to give my husband so much time with the kids, because she doesn’t think it’s fair. I tried being understanding but told her that even though she would probably make a different choice, they were my children and I knew what I was doing. She then went on to say I wasn’t considering her, because she’s their grandma and misses them when they’re gone. I told her I understood but was trying my best to accommodate the situation. She then went on to guilt trip me, but said she wasn’t doing that. How can I communicate with her without making her cry (she’s very sensitive), yet getting her to respect me as a mother?