B
barajasj24
Guest
I am in quite a bind; and as a Catholic; I feel my armor craking; but I know I should hold myself up high and stay strong. My situation: 5 years working; and I get laid-off work! A year before I find the love of my life and we go through the R.C.I.A. program together; my wife chooses to become and embrace Catholicism; 4 months before our wedding through our parish, I get laid-off work! at the same time I buy a house; we have a house to move into after getting married; my wifes family looses a second home; they have nowhere to go; at the same time, my wifes uncle is free-loading and living there; sister-in-law and my nephews find a an appartment of their own; that leaves the Grandmother and Uncle; my wife pleeds to me to allow her Grandmother to live with us; she has been more of a mother to my wife, than my wife’s biological mother; so I say yes, she can; all this happens in the last week when they are all packing and nearing the deadline that my Father-in-law had set; the grandmothers has been reluctant to come live with us, didnt want to envade our privacy or be a burden, she would say; in the back of my mind, I was, like, awsome! but i knew it wouldnt be likely; we live in California, and It’s expensive out here; she can’t afford to be out on her own; the uncle: is a pathetic shame as I would like to feel for him, but; I can’t my heart won’t let me; my heart hasent allowed many things; he has been out of a job since 96; is legally married, with a son not biological to him; his wife kicked him out because he was not bringing in income, and she could’nt afford to feed him, as he claims; has been living in his car and his brothers house on and off; Uncle lives off his mother, he gets as much as he can for as long as he can; the last weeks of their eviction; my wifes grandmother pleeds to me if he can come live with us after she agrees to come live with us; and of course, guess what I said? I said yes; but I made it clear to her just temporary; at this stage our marriage is so fresh and delicate and I’m begining to get to know her family, even under these extreme difficult times; I don’t know their stories yet; they both move in with us, along with a large amount of their household property; my problem starts here with living with eachother; how do I do it? the uncle still living off her to his pleasure; makes no effort to find work; he’s like 54 yrs; with Diabetes; for a while would do anything, no job hunting, not helping around the house and no trying to get disability or something; I feel like I took on so much, so early in my our marriage; learning to be a husband, learning to be a momeowner; l look for work desprately, constantly! Grandmother is 74 yrs old, has beginning alzheimer’s disease; is stubborn/hard headed, use to take off on walks to the store and get lost for hours, I drive around and mannage to find her, dosent do that anymore; her last must have scarred her, a police officer found her and kept her in the patrol car until she remembered or we called the police station to report her missing, which I did; uncle dosen’t care for her; I’m fed up! I talked to uncle finally; and said I can’t have you hear much longer, he’s been going to his doctors and making effort to get diability, and asked me if he got it, if he can give me rent, I said no, it be best if you save for an appartment go move out and be on your own; he didn’y like that very much; what finnaly prompted me to ask him or tell him was because of so many things, but also; me and my wife are pregnant, I’m going to be a father! Yay! I just coulnt think of my house with my Son! living with more than one man in his life, I just want me and him; the uncle is so negative and so grumpy; my wife is due in 4 weeks, so we got pregnant while thay were all here living with us; not what I envisioned; by the time my son is 1yr, the uncle whould have been here about 2 years! Grandma can’t fight me on this when it’s time; I havent told her yet; I allowed him to stay here in my home for way to long; when I talked with him, he mentioned going back to his wife; so he dose have places to go, he just dosent want to; but through this journey; Im afraid of what I have become; I’m tougher, I feel my heart more like stone, I sucome more to anger and frustration more easily; I do my best to keep it away from my wife, but my loving wife notices it, and calms me down; but as a Catholic, I feel ashamed I’m not as strong as I thought i was; how can I endure the pressence of them in my home? I feel taken advantage of. How can I regain my Home? the uncle has about 14 more months i gave him to figure where hes going to go; but I’m worried about the challenges my baby will bring, and how I will react, with him here; How can I let the grandmother know, i asked him to leave, next june 2012? She may want to leave; she pays rent here and helps, and with me being unemployed and a baby coming; could we make it? When it was just me and my wife alone we did okay, she worked and I am still recieving unemployment benefits; fear it will run out; I need to fing work before then; before that happens; I feel tied; sufficated; It’s being everso more difficult that I ever immagimed it would ever get; What should I do? How should I re-form myself into a new Catholic? What should I do about my inability to control my anger and frustration; I feel like prayer only goes so far, and I know thats not true; am I and my wife a victim of our situation? She seems to be handling it better than I am; what’s wrong with me? Have I done a good thing? or did I damage my famify and my home? I know ive been a pushover, steming from my mother, lol! but, how merciful and generous can I bee, untill its too much and causes harm? I value your opinions and comments as my brothers and sisters in faith; I hope you can shed a light into my situation, and give me something I can used to self reflect on everything. Thank-you for helping, and God always bless you and keep you.