How can I explain Catholicism to my boyfriend?

[texascatholic12]

My boyfriend and I started dating in January. He describes himself as a “saved” christian, and I am Catholic.

He was baptized Catholic and has received his first communion, but has not been confirmed (he is 24), however, he doesn’t know anything about Catholicism (He grew up in a hispanic household that only “lit saint candles when things went wrong” and only went to mass a few times).

Now, of course, like anyone, I would like for him to eventually consider himself Catholic, and he really does want to know what Catholicism is.

I don’t want him to “convert” to make me happy (and he wouldn’t anyway), but because he KNOWS in his heart that Catholicism is True.

I want to help him… I just have no idea how!
I have read a lot of apologetics, but unfortunately I am finding that I am a terrible apologist.

There are plenty of books I could give him to read, but he won’t read. He doesn’t like to read, and I don’t think it’s the best way to get through to him. He didn’t decide to get saved be reading a book!

Where on earth do I start? What can I do?

 

[mskejj]

My boyfriend and I started dating in January. He describes himself as a “saved” christian, and I am Catholic.

He was baptized Catholic and has received his first communion, but has not been confirmed (he is 24), however, he doesn’t know anything about Catholicism (He grew up in a hispanic household that only “lit saint candles when things went wrong” and only went to mass a few times).

Now, of course, like anyone, I would like for him to eventually consider himself Catholic, and he really does want to know what Catholicism is.

I don’t want him to “convert” to make me happy (and he wouldn’t anyway), but because he KNOWS in his heart that Catholicism is True.

I want to help him… I just have no idea how!
I have read a lot of apologetics, but unfortunately I am finding that I am a terrible apologist.

There are plenty of books I could give him to read, but he won’t read. He doesn’t like to read, and I don’t think it’s the best way to get through to him. He didn’t decide to get saved be reading a book!

Where on earth do I start? What can I do?

In the fall, there will be a 10 part series on TV called Catholicism by Father Robert Barron. It is going to be amazing and would be a great series to watch together. It will be on PBS and on EWTN. Go to wordonfire.org and check it out. It is a great website with lots of videos and faith clips that you can watch as well.

 

[Wowbagger]

I found I was a much better apologist to my girlfriend when I wrote her emails, rather than trying to speak to her in person. Stumbled all over myself in person, but, in text, I could order my thoughts, consult my favorite apologetics books while I worked, and make sure I covered all the ground I needed to cover plus answer any questions she’d asked since last time we talked. (Plus I could hop on CAF and ask for help on specific points whenever I needed it!)

He might not want to read, but he’s your boyfriend – he’ll read what you write.

That aside, be joyous in your Catholicism, living always in a humble and holy manner. Like you said, people don’t convert because they read a book (usually). They convert because they see God in the goodness and joy of those who convert them.

1 Peter 3:15-16 is the appropriate line for these occasions. (A favorite among “saved” Christians, by the by “…sanctify the Lord Christ in your hearts, being ready always to satisfy every one that asketh you a reason of that hope which is in you. But [answer] with modesty and fear, having a good conscience: that whereas they speak evil of you, they may be ashamed who falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ.”

This is a difficult phase in life. Good luck, and God’s love be with you.

 

[Immaculata90]

Live out the faith to its fullest every day. Be joyful in your faith as a Catholic. I believe St Francis said “Preach the Gospel daily, and when necessary use words.” The best thing you can do is frequent the sacraments and strive for holiness every day. Be completely open to him asking you questions. I have found a lot of times if I stop trying to go out of my way and explain things up one side and down the other and just joyfully live, they’ll come to you with the questions. If you can’t explain very well or don’t know, just admit it and look it up. We are all beginners at some level on some things–we’re all human.

 

[texascatholic12]

Thank you! These are all great responses. I really like the email Idea, I am far better at explaining myself in writing than I am in words!

I cant wait for the Catholicism series to come out, and I am even thinking about buying the box set because I don’t have DVR and hardly ever watch TV. I think he would really enjoy it.

 

[joshrp]

My boyfriend and I started dating in January. He describes himself as a “saved” christian, and I am Catholic.

He was baptized Catholic and has received his first communion, but has not been confirmed (he is 24), however, he doesn’t know anything about Catholicism (He grew up in a hispanic household that only “lit saint candles when things went wrong” and only went to mass a few times).

Now, of course, like anyone, I would like for him to eventually consider himself Catholic, and he really does want to know what Catholicism is.

I don’t want him to “convert” to make me happy (and he wouldn’t anyway), but because he KNOWS in his heart that Catholicism is True.

I want to help him… I just have no idea how!
I have read a lot of apologetics, but unfortunately I am finding that I am a terrible apologist.

There are plenty of books I could give him to read, but he won’t read. He doesn’t like to read, and I don’t think it’s the best way to get through to him. He didn’t decide to get saved be reading a book!

Where on earth do I start? What can I do?

Don’t try to push it on him. Just keep going to Mass, every day if possible. Go to confession at least every week if you can. And go to adoration as much as you possibly can. And pray as much as you can. And do good things for other people as much as you can. Maybe he will want to come with you some day. If you want to ask him to come along, do so, but don’t push it on him. And if he asks you about Catholicism, send him here on www.catholic.com, explain it to him, or give him books and magazines about it. If you have a church library, tell him about it. But don’t bring it up unless he asks, or their is a good opportunity to do it. You evangelize by living the Catholic faith and being a good Christian, not by being good at rhetoric or talking about it.

 

[joshrp]

Jesus said to His apostles that people would know that we are His disciples if we love each other. So love him, and love your fellow Catholics, and spend as much time with us and with your boyfriend and with Jesus in adoration, Mass, confession, and prayer as you can.

 

[KCT]

If he likes to read, there are tons of good books out there.

Born Fundamentalist, Born Again Catholic by David Currie
Surprised by Truth edited by Patrick Madrid

are two of my favorites.

 

[PJM]

=texascatholic12;8273571]My boyfriend and I started dating in January. He describes himself as a “saved” christian, and I am Catholic.

He was baptized Catholic and has received his first communion, but has not been confirmed (he is 24), however, he doesn’t know anything about Catholicism (He grew up in a hispanic household that only “lit saint candles when things went wrong” and only went to mass a few times).

Now, of course, like anyone, I would like for him to eventually consider himself Catholic, and he really does want to know what Catholicism is.

I don’t want him to “convert” to make me happy (and he wouldn’t anyway), but because he KNOWS in his heart that Catholicism is True.

I want to help him… I just have no idea how!
I have read a lot of apologetics, but unfortunately I am finding that I am a terrible apologist.

There are plenty of books I could give him to read, but he won’t read. He doesn’t like to read, and I don’t think it’s the best way to get through to him. He didn’t decide to get saved be reading a book!

Where on earth do I start? What can I do?

First thing is PRAYER and LOTS of it. He MUST desire it for himself [even if its because you want him too]. An open window beats a CLOSED door

Then talk! Find out what he understands and beliefs and what he does not believe [because even though it may be admitted; he does NOT know], and resolve one issue at a time. The Forum can be of GTREAT help

DO NOT FORCE IT! But at the same time and in approiate ways let HIM KNOW How VERY IMportant this is to YOU.

God Bless you,
Pat

 

[familyof4]

Check and see if you parish has any Lighthouse Media cd’s avaliable in the Narthex. If he doesn’t like to read, these are great for listening to in the car. They cover a huge amount of info, and my husband has given away copies of two of the cd’s, which have actually brought people into the RCIA program at their parish (husband’s of Catholic wives who had attended church for years, but hadn’t made the final step).

The cd is “Why a Protestant Pastor Become Catholic”. It’s Dr. Scott Hahn’s story of conversion. Very motivating.

If he is interested, he can sit in the inquiry classes of RCIA, and get a feel for what the church is about-- and he will be welcome to ask questions too!

 

[AlanFromWichita]

There are plenty of books I could give him to read, but he won’t read. He doesn’t like to read, and I don’t think it’s the best way to get through to him. He didn’t decide to get saved be reading a book!

Where on earth do I start? What can I do?

I don’t like to read that much either, partly because I’m slow at it, and I get easily distracted at times. Once when I was in “quite a state” I just turned an .mp3 audio file of the New Testament on “repeat” for about a month in my room upstairs. I would sometimes listen to it, sometimes not, I’d sleep to it, etc. Most of the time I didn’t pay much attention to it, but every now and then it would get my attention. It repeated every 17 hours; although it was the NIV it did wonders at helping to “internalize” the NT. Dunno if he’d get into that, but it was something that helped me.

I’d say first step is to relax. It sounds like he wants to be convinced of something he wants to believe more than just because he thinks he’s “supposed” to, and that sounds like a wonderful situation. You don’t have to know everything, but you can research with him; sometimes I talk about religious things to my wife and I’ll post a question about it here on CAF and we’ll discuss the results together. It isn’t about whether you can victoriously argue about an article of faith in 100% conformance with the most deep and complex of Church teachings, it’s that you love, and accept him where he is at all times. Let his curiosity and the things that mean a lot to you be your guides.

I used to have as my signature, “God doesn’t love you because you change. God loves you so you can change.”

Alan

 

[jesuspsr]

Be a good example by living a good catholic life. May the Holy Spirit guide you.

God bless

jesus g