How can I live my faith if my parents are opposed?

[LeonardDeNoblac]

Hi, I’m an 18 years old Catholic boy from Milan, Italy.
This is my first topic on this forum, wich has been of great help for my growth in faith.
It’s been some months since I reached the age of 18, and I’ve recently discovered that I am now subject to some practices of the Church, such as fasting and abstinence on commanded days.
I’ve just tried to talk about it with my mother, but her reaction has been worse than I had thought. She angrily shouted that all of that (fasting, abstinence, and basically everything that involves mortification and sacrifice ) is just a medieval barbarity and the aspect of Catholicism that she hates the most, and she forbade me to observe it.
Now, on fridays I’ll simply do some more spiritual exercises (like mental prayer or praying the Rosary ) instead of observing the abstinence from meat (my diocese allows it ), but for Lent and other occasions I have to find a solution.
Beside that, I don’t want to argue with my parents, as long as I can (of course if they tried to make me give up my faith, as a whole or even one single aspect of it, I would simply have to disobey them in order not to betray God ), but I also don’t want to disobey the Church, even because fasting and abstinence are practices of mortification and penance that have been always practiced by countless saints, by the patriarchs and the prophets of the Old Testament, by the Apostles and even by Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself.
What should I do? Should I ask my priest for advice?
Pray for me, I’ll pray for all of you. God bless.

 

[Irishmom2]

Asking your priest is always a good option.

So is just not being available at mealtimes when your mom will not support your fasting. Make plans to eat out with friends or be elsewhere at mealtimes. I don’t know what the legal age for Italy is, but if you are of legal age, she cannot forbid you, nor force you to eat something you do not want to. Be respectful to your mother, but just do not do anything to violate your beliefs. You don’t have to make any kind of announcement if she serves something you can’t eat, just eat another part of a meal she has prepared.

 

[LeonardDeNoblac]

Thanks for your answer, I’ll surely ask my priest about it, even because tomorrow I plan to go to Confession.
I don’t know how mealtime at home works in other countries, but here in Italy we have a strict order of courses (usually two, beside fruit and desserts ), and we are supposed to eat every course we are given, so it’s not that easy.
And I can’t even have mealtime outside so often.
I’m beyond the legal age in Italy, but I still live with my parents for now, so the problem is quite serious.
But maybe the problem will just disappear when I’ll go to live alone for university.

 

[TheLittleLady]

I’m a mom. I would never hover over my 18 year old (or 10 year old’s) plate and force them to eat meat. If all they want to eat is the potato and veg, that is their decision. I’d not require them to eat enormous portions.

Don’t make a big deal about fasting or abstaining.

 

[1ke]

Your priest can dispense you from the obligation.

And if you are in a situation where fasting or abstaining would give offense to the host/in this case the cook (your mother) you may eat what is put before you.