How can my family attend church with a special-needs child?

[Anjackel]

My daughter is eight years old. She was diagnosed autistic at the age of two. When she was a baby we went to Mass as a family until we started to notice a change and she was clearly a distraction to those around us who would stare rather un-Christian-like at us whenever she would let out her noises. As she has gotten older we try to tell her about God and Jesus but it literally goes in one ear and out the other as she is somewhat of a severe case. I can honestly say that she is a gift from God because she knows no sin. My only fear is that of her not being able to receive the sacraments of Communion and confirmation. I know she is not capable of such but I wanted to know the Church’s view.

Secondly, for my wife and I. We rarely have the opportunity to attend Sunday Mass as our daughter is really a two-person job. She is extremely dependent on us and her teachers and does not respond well to anyone out of this circle. That being said, I do attend Mass between two and four times a week. My wife is much less religious but I’m working on her and I know the good Lord will once again turn her heart to him.

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

I recommend that you contact your diocese to discuss how your daughter might receive the sacraments. Many dioceses have staff members with experience in helping families with special-needs members. You may also with to contact the St. Joseph Foundation for information on the canon law aspects of your daughter’s reception of the sacraments.

As for attending Mass, the care of a child, particularly one who is ill or has special needs that prevent his or her attendance at Mass, is a just reason to miss Mass on Sunday or a holy day of obligation. I do recommend to you though that you work to expand your daughter’s circle of caregivers. Not only do you and your wife need and deserve the opportunity to attend Mass – and to take other reasonable breaks – but the day will come when you and your wife can no longer care for your daughter. Hopefully, that day will be far into the future; but, in the meantime, for your daughter’s sake and yours, you must begin to prepare your daughter for that eventuality. One way to do so is to seek the professional help you need to teach your daughter to accept care given by other trusted adults in the absence of you and your wife.