I think this is what we are talking about. Flannel Pajama pants and a t-shirt are not revealing in any shape or form. You could trade it out for what girls of that age normally wear, tight jeans with their butt cracks hanging out and a tight top, and that woudl be more revealing. Really, boys at that age will fliip for a girl just becuase she has a pretty face and nice hair, theydont’ even have to see her body. What do you expect these girls to wear? Oversized sweatpants and a hoodie? A broom skirt and a t-shirt wtih a blazer? Seriously, boys will be boys and you can’t stop that, so you teach them control, but at the same time, you can’t say to the girls they need to cover their forearms becuase the boys are excitable. If we are really going to sit here and say that pajama pants and a t-shirt are bad, then the way I dress means that I’m outta luck. I wear pj pants and a t-shirt regularly to the movie store or to grab a late night snack somewhere, i guess i’m just a regular hooker
Beenwashed,
Your post is exactly what
I was talking about
. Often times, women and/or girls really don’t really understand about boys or young men and their reactions. I can say as a 25 year old guy that some of what you have said is true, but some of it is simply
not true, but you can’t be blamed because it’s what so many women believe for various reasons. I am trying to be helpful here by giving first hand, experiential knowledge about just how young men can react to these things.
This is very difficult to say in text only, because it can sound mean, but I assure you I mean nothing of the sort. I say this as kindly and good-naturedly as I possibly can: don’t just assume you know how men work, but listen to actual men giving their own experiences
. That’s the best way to understand and so make the best possible decision about things like modesty and so forth.
For example, the flannel pajamas… let me try to explain, although it will be hard to really get across the whole sense of it. First, as we know, and as has been said by some in this thread, associations make a huge difference. Now with flannel pajamas there is a very tempting association: girl’s
sleep in their
beds in these things.
Now I know that womens’ and mens’ minds work differently, so I will guess - from my experience with my female friends and from what I’ve read on the subject - that the average woman’s mind doesn’t see a friend in pajamas and necessarily even think of bed or sleeping - though just as I said to listen to men explain their experiences, I would welcome correction if I am mistaken. In any case, what I can tell you is that for many young men, when they see a girl in her pajamas the
first thing that comes to mind - complete involuntarily - is sleeping, in bed, and so forth, and once the thought is in a young man’s mind, it can be very difficult to get out even with great effort and discipline. That’s one side of things.
Then there is another thing that I would suspect - though again I would welcome correction - most women don’t think about when they see pajamas: pajamas are often a lot thinner than denim, corduroy, khaki material, etc. When I was younger, and sometimes even now unfortunately, seeing a memeber of the opposite sex in pajamas even on television immediately called to mind the fact that there is nothing more than a layer of cloth between what I see and what’s underneath. Seeing someone in
person called to mind immediately that there is nothing more than a layer of cloth between what I see and my
touching what’s underneath. I
can tell you that this isn’t just my experience, btw, but was shared by many of my fellow boys/men. It’s awful and perverse and corrupt, but it’s what pops into the mind of many - though not all - young men when they see these kinds of things, and its tought for even the devout to get out because of the power of the hormones and all that.
It is also, btw,
very different from the reaction to jeans for example, or other sorts of pants. I am not sure how to explain it - maybe it doesn’t even make sense at all
- but jeans don’t inspire these kinds of thoughts, even in some cases tight ones. Jeans are more of a… well they’re a daytime, doing regular, non-sexual stuff sort of a thing to wear. Girls wear jeans to do math in school, and they wear jeans when they go to the football game, and they wear them to go shopping and to ride a roller-coaster… but flannel pajamas!
Flannel pajamas are worn to
bed. It sounds so silly, I know, and maybe perverse, but I’m just telling you how the young male mind works, unfortunate as it is. It’s the same thing, for example, for something like equestrian pants, which women wear when they ride horses, and I am sure you can imagine the sorts of thoughts that might bring to mind. Men don’t like it, or at least those fighting for purity don’t, but unfortunately that’s the nature of fallen man.
And the reality is I’m not even really beginning to express the real nature of this. It’s far more difficult than I can put into words in this limited space, or maybe into words at all.
So I will say again that it goes back to love of neighbor. Not all young men will suffer this difficulty, but many will, and I have no argument that it can seem like quite a burden for women and girls to worry about something as simple as wearing what seems like as objectively modest a thing like long flannel pants and a t-shirt. However, it is a small sacrifice of love for neighbor to be a tad - just a tad - more modest than might seem needful, for their sake.
God bless
