How closely do I have to follow my penace? (concerning sexual addiction)

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thememphisman

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my priest told me that i should attend a sex addiction meeting. this is not a regular priest that i usually go to. also, i went to confession around a time when the businessman in my city go. so i assumed he thought i was a 40 something business man…when i’m a 20 year old college student. i admit i have struggles with pornography and masturbation, but i do not think i need sex addiction therapy.

i did look into it though, because he suggested this as my penace. i looked at their twelve step program and i agree with it. i find that i am trying to do that already. i share my struggles with my girlfriend and she has helped by supporting me.

i sincerely think this penace might be too much for me. i want to please God, and i pray and try honestly to remain pure and chaste. i dont think i have an addiction problem. just a period of falling more frequently. but i think i’m on the verge of a breakthrough.

thanks for the help
 
also, i’ve found an online sexual addiction group. could that count?

i sincerely want to do penance for my sins, but i find that i am incapable of going to an actual meeting.

please what should i do
 
You need to ask your priest, either the one who gave you the penance or your regulard priest, for guidance. We cannot help you.
 
Additions are tricky, most people are in denial. Not denial that you have an addiction, but that you need therapy for it. We always like to tell ourselves that the problem is not as bad as we think, and that we can lick it ourselves when in reality we need help. Maybe you should try it, it can’t hurt. It just might help. Also, if you do not do the penance that sin is not forgiven. It’s like saying to God, I am sorry, but I refuse to show you that I am by not doing the penance. There are consequences for sin. I don’t think the priest is trying to punish you I think he is sincerly trying to help you out. I think when you see that there are many others that have the same problem, it will help you with your guilt. They will support you and maybe even share things with you that helped them through it all. We are all sinners. God understands and will help you through it all I’m sure if you ask. Don’t give up! Never think that your sins are greater than God’s mercy.
 
Meetings have helped me a lot. The most important thing is to be around people who really know what you’re going through. If the online meeting is the ONLY meeting that works for you, that’s fine; however, there’s a lot to be said for actually being in the same room with others who struggle like you do.
 
flower_lady said:
Additions are tricky, most people are in denial. Not denial that you have an addiction, but that you need therapy for it. We always like to tell ourselves that the problem is not as bad as we think, and that we can lick it ourselves when in reality we need help. Maybe you should try it, it can’t hurt. It just might help. Also, if you do not do the penance that sin is not forgiven. It’s like saying to God, I am sorry, but I refuse to show you that I am by not doing the penance. There are consequences for sin. I don’t think the priest is trying to punish you I think he is sincerly trying to help you out. I think when you see that there are many others that have the same problem, it will help you with your guilt. They will support you and maybe even share things with you that helped them through it all. We are all sinners. God understands and will help you through it all I’m sure if you ask. Don’t give up! Never think that your sins are greater than God’s mercy.
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I’d also like to say that by no means am I an authority on the subject of addition. See and talk with your priest. These have only been my experiences.
 
You think that penance may be too much for you.
Do you think you should impose your own penance instead?
Substituting what you would like for penance?
You should consult with a priest to see if it is okay to determine your own penance.
 
Aside from the question of if you should seek some sort of outside help…

Did the priest suggest it as a penance as something additional to consider? or give it as a penance?

(I assume in any case you accepted what penance he gave you…but now are seeking what to do and if you can change it right?)

You can go to your regular confessor in confession and tell him what you told us…
 
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