"How could you do this?"

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Cam-masta

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At lunch break today, I joked with a coworker saying “you must be a very religious person” - he was sleeping and looked like he was praying (he is not religious) which makes it much more humorous. Suddenly a discussion…well more like an attack, broke out. One of the other coworkers jumped in and asked if I were Catholic and I responded “yes.” He then went on to tell of his wife having been abused by a priest and took me by surprise by asking “How could you be Catholic with this scandal going on? How could you do this?” He was obviously very miffed with me. I told him that the Church is made of wheat and tares (as Jesus taught) and that my heart went out to his wife and that there were over 1 billion baptised Catholics: “Are you going to condemn 1 billion baptised Catholics?” He went on to discuss Martin Luther and how some priests rejected his wife’s fund raising to support United Way and were drinking and swearing. What turned out to be a fun and innocent joke turned into an attack…I was cornered. He vented on how the Church has done so much damage and went on about Martin Luther, but I defended the best I could by claiming the amount of good portrayed especially in the Saints like Mother Teresa of Calcutta, but he wouldn’t hear of it. The rest of the day, this has been on my mind and I am saddened and disheartened; dissappointed and angry that I should have to be put down for being a Catholic.
 
I would ask my co-worker if he treated all teachers, Scout leaders, politicians and anyone else who’s ever betrayed the trust of a child with the same contempt and rudeness he was treating me.

I would ask my co-worker if he was really interested in an intellectual discussion, or if he just wanted me to be a tacit target while he engaged in “buckshot debating”, throwing out a million different topics without waiting for me to completely respond to each one.

Finally, I would offer my sincere apologies for the pain his wife suffered, and tell him that I wasn’t interested in discussing religion with him.
 
Feedmysheep said:
I would ask my co-worker if he treated all teachers, Scout leaders, politicians and anyone else who’s ever betrayed the trust of a child with the same contempt and rudeness he was treating me.

I would ask my co-worker if he was really interested in an intellectual discussion, or if he just wanted me to be a tacit target while he engaged in “buckshot debating”, throwing out a million different topics without waiting for me to completely respond to each one.

Finally, I would offer my sincere apologies for the pain his wife suffered, and tell him that I wasn’t interested in discussing religion with him.
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I did offer my heartfelt empathy for what happened to his spouse and claimed that it was a grave injustice and shouldn’t have happened.
 
I would try to steer clear of this. At least for now. Obviously the man has issues with the church. It was unfair of him to attack you because of them. If he tries to start up the “conversation” again, tell him you aren’t interested in being an easy target and that if he insists on behaving that way towards you, you will report it as harrassement. Sometimes a well timed “get lost” is needed in these cases.
 
It sounds like you did a very good job defending the Church. 👍 Even Jesus didn’t convince everyone. That is not your goal.

I like to point out to others that the priests who did these terrible things did so in spite of Church teaching; not because of Church teaching.

These priests were often those who “disagreed” with or “ignored” the Church and thought they knew better. Dismissing the guidence of Catholic teaching (as Luther did) leads to erorrs in judgement.

I wouldn’t be surprised at all if this person does bring up the topic again. However, the next time he may have chewed on what you said (which may be very new to him) and want to know more. If he does come back look at him with the eyes of Jesus, see his legitiate pain and help him to understand that the teaching of the Church is pure but those trusted to implement it are weak.
 
I’ll keep you in prayer. And this man and his wife. Her woundedness has impacted on him and the hurt is deep. Father please heal them, in Your Son’s name.

I pray you will be able to deal with the awkwardness and hurt, and that in time you will be able to help this man.
 
Offer it up to God for reperation of sins committed by priests against the helpless. Pray for the priest of which that man was speaking and for all involved, and last but not least forgive!
 
I probably wouldn’t have done as well as you did.

I hope he comes to realize how incredibly inappropriate this was, and offers some sort of apology. Not saying he will, but he should.

I’d like to pretend that I would have listened politely for a while, then said:

"I’m sorry for what has happened.
You have a lot of anger. It may be justified, but it is not healthy.

"This conversation is completely inappropriate for the workplace.

“I don’t deserve to be attacted anymore than your wife did.”

And I’d refuse to discuss it further.

I do hope you pray for him. If he offers an olive branch, take it. Show him how a Catholic acts by refusing to hold a grudge, even if he doesn’t apologize.
 
Cam-masta, congratulations. You’ve received the highest honor there is: being insulted for following Christ and His Church.

You’re in excellent company.
 
I guess the idea of “turning the other cheek” is kinda passe now, huh?

marietta
 
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