How did you decide whether you were being drawn to a 3rd Order?

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This topic is coming up quite often around here. It confirms my belief that that many of the faithful are starving for an authentic approach to Christian spirituality and a way of ordering one’s life to God.

I started off looking for 2 things. Continued formation and a way to increase my understanding and practice of spirituality within the Catholic Church. I originally looked at Opus Dei but eventually moved away from that.

From there, I found out about lay orders and started digging. There were two groups that attracted me: The Society of Jesus and the Order of Preachers. Both have a strong intellectual tradition which interests me and I identify with the mission of both groups. As it turns out, the Jesuits do not have lay orders but they do have a group called the Ignatian Associates which function in many of the same ways. The Dominicans on the other hand, do have lay orders. From there, I looked continuously into both options and while I did waffle a bit, I kept coming back to the O.P. Following this, I found that I was moving to a new location and as it so happened, there was a Dominican Laity chapter in town.

Since prayer and contemplation was already mentioned, I would suggest to the Original Poster to study each group you are looking into and learn whatever you can about their Charism and approach to Spirituality. That may include buying books, reading articles, going to retreats put on by the orders,etc. For me, I started doing a great deal of study. I read dozens of articles, watched videos, and asked questions of anyone who would listen long enough. I made phone calls, sent e-mails, and made a general nuisance of myself until I had enough information to go forward with the beginning stages.

One thing I found interesting is that many orders started off right away with multiple parts of their family. For example, according to an article on the Dominican Laity by fr. Philbert, OP, although the Nuns were first, the OP has had three branches of the family since the early years: Friars (Religous Priests and Brothers); Sisters (Cloistered Monastic Sisters and Active Apostolic Sisters); and Laity (Lay Sisters and Lay Brothers) who are to “live within their families, neighborhoods, workplaces, and communities as a kind of leaven in the dough of society”. In addition, it is my understanding that at this time, the family is considered to have four branches with the previously named Monastic Sisters now being referred to as Contemplative Nuns and being viewed as a distinct branch from the Apostolic Sisters while of course remaining equal in dignity.

Now that I am in the very early stages of formation as a Dominican lay brother I am stocking up my library on books related to the OP. I already have enough books to last me two years of nonstop reading in addition to my study materials I am getting through the Province and my Chapter.

As an FYI, here is an example of the types of articles I was finding online. There are a surprising amount of stuff out there. I have posted a couple of these in a previous thread. but since they might be of interest to the OP, I will add them here as well.

Peace,

***** = take everything I say with a strong dose of doing your own research. It is entirely possible that I am full of rubbish! 😃
Can you post a link to that article?
 
I am a member of the OCDS. They have a 1 year period of discernment before you are admitted to formation. During that year I attended meetings and worked with my spiritual director. He was great in assisting me to understand the “vocational call” and what it meant. Hope that helps.
 
I met people in my former parish through being invited to share in some of their apostolates, was impressed by them in general, so when they invited me to attend Oblate meetings at the monastery I did, fell in love with the sisters, and the rest is history. I had already met some of the secular Franciscans but simply found everything about the Oblates–members, sisters, leadership, meeting times, expectations etc.–more congenial and suited to my needs at that time. I am very drawn to Carmelite spirituality and read deeply there but simply never met anyone associated with them. Had I known any Dominican tertiaries that probably would have been my first choice since I was schooled by Dominicans.

The Benedictine way of life is suited to my temperament as I am a by-the-book kind of person, am very attracted by the emphasis on living out the Rule in daily life, and the practices of Liturgy of the HOurs and lectio divina. Since I have already been involved in the sisters’ main work, pro-life witness, that also was a natural fit.
 
I met people in my former parish through being invited to share in some of their apostolates, was impressed by them in general, so when they invited me to attend Oblate meetings at the monastery I did, fell in love with the sisters, and the rest is history. I had already met some of the secular Franciscans but simply found everything about the Oblates–members, sisters, leadership, meeting times, expectations etc.–more congenial and suited to my needs at that time. I am very drawn to Carmelite spirituality and read deeply there but simply never met anyone associated with them. Had I known any Dominican tertiaries that probably would have been my first choice since I was schooled by Dominicans.

The Benedictine way of life is suited to my temperament as I am a by-the-book kind of person, am very attracted by the emphasis on living out the Rule in daily life, and the practices of Liturgy of the HOurs and lectio divina. Since I have already been involved in the sisters’ main work, pro-life witness, that also was a natural fit.
Puzzle Annie,

Thanks for sharing. I read the Rule of St Benedict, but have a hard time understanding how an Oblate would apply the Rule to her life. Any ideas for further reading?

Thanks.
 
Wanted to thank Honora Dominum for the post about how you were drawn to your 3rd order. It allowed me to honor my deepest desires and I now discovered there may be a group near me that I can learn from. I am very appreciative of your words and example. Thanks!🙂
I appreciate the kind words, but I cannot emphasize enough my true “littleness and nothingness” when it comes to spirituality. I do understand, however, how one’s “deepest desires” can end up being a constant yearning to be closer to God. May Christ and Mother Mary be with you in your journey.
 
Can you post a link to that article?
Hi,

If you are referring to the one by fr. Philbert, OP I am afraid that I can’t. I have it in hard copy but do not have an electronic version or know where one would exist online. However, any history of the order which talks about the various parts of the family would likely discuss that particular information.

Peace,
 
Ocarm/Father? Mike:

Your contribution here was very inspiring. Thank you so much. My husband and I discerned religious life… And it was a beautiful experience. Considering a third order is on our list. After all marriage also requires a seeking for holiness. God bless you and all the religious and lay people who have shared here.
 
@ original poster

Thanks for posting this question. Call your parish and make an appointment to speak with one of the priests. After mass is generally a time for greetings and goodbyes. God bless you!
 
I notice that a number of people have mentioned interest in Carmelite spirituality and the secular Carmelites. I am currently in formation with a secular Carmelite community, One of the things that I want to mention is that there is a difference between the OCDS (which I belong to) and the OCARM. I don’t mean that one is better than the other, they are just different in their approaches. I would urge you to check them both out if you are in the process of exploring a vocational call (and that is what it is) to the Carmelites or any third order.
Regards,
 
Puzzle Annie,

Thanks for sharing. I read the Rule of St Benedict, but have a hard time understanding how an Oblate would apply the Rule to her life. Any ideas for further reading?

Thanks.
Life-giving way by Esther DeWaal is one good one
Benedict in the World gives examples of Oblates from Frances of Rome to Dorothy Day
the best way to understand the HolyRule applied to daily life is to become an oblate. We do have remote members, as far away as Houston or San Antonio, and members from monasteries up north who meet with us when they are down here as winter visitors.

it is still going to be best to be a member of an association closer to you so you can meet regularly with other members and the religious directing you for support. Proximity was one of the main reasons I joined.
 
One of the things that I want to mention is that there is a difference between the OCDS (which I belong to) and the OCARM. I don’t mean that one is better than the other, they are just different in their approaches.
Whilst these two branches of the Carmelite family are not identical - most obviously in their history - their differences in the contemporary world are not very obvious. This thread may be of some help:

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=333843

Likewise this post and it’s immediate successors (positioned within a thread on a broader topic):

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?p=8428617#post8428617

Hope this helps. Please feel free to ask any more specific questions.
 
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