How did you feel before RCIA?

[tmarie5]

My fiance has often attended mass with me and is interested in joining RCIA, however, when he got serious about it, it was too late. He is very uncomfortable with not being able to take communion & feels like he doesn’t belong.

My questions for those pre or post RCIA:

Did you still attend mass regularly?
What did you do during the Communion?
Did you become apart of the parish first?

I don’t want to push him to be Catholic, but I don’t want him to feel discouraged either, does anyone have any ideas of how I can console his discomfort?

Thanks.

 

[prodigalson12]

feels like he doesn’t belong.

Tell him this. I attend mass, I always show up very early and often there is very few, if anybody there, much less in the pews. I am there essentially alone. At the end of mass, instead of chatting away while there is still singing and shuffling away, I am quietly praying as well, showing reverence for the mass and the church itself. I also very regularly visit Mary’s outdoor shrine, I bring flowers, light a candle and pray, and again, I do this alone and even face scrutiny over it from onlookers that happen to be hanging out in the parking lot.

Tell him that I do often feel like I do not belong, because I do NOT belong in the context of belonging with the people that are there, this is quite clear, but the reality of this, I do very much belong at the Fathers house and I am there with our Lord, and so does he, communion or not, he belongs there more then he realizes and fitting in with the rest of the group may not necessarily be a good thing. This isn’t a protestant service, it’s mass, they are completely different things.

 

[lizds]

lMy questions for those pre or post RCIA:

Did you still attend mass regularly?
What did you do during the Communion?
Did you become apart of the parish first?

Post RCIA… I was first interested in Catholism last May, I didn’t attend Mass until August. When I started attending I went every Sunday and every Holy Day of Obligation. I really wanted to join RCIA, which happened to be postponed till January. From August up until our first RCIA meeting I would constantly get cold feet and change my mind. When I first started getting such thoughts I preoccupied my self by memorizing prayers and I began praying in the morning and evening. I even attended Daily Mass when I didn’t have to work. All of this helped me overcome my fear and nervousness of starting RCIA.

Since I’ve started RCIA things have been going much more smoothly. I’ve become even more excited about my Faith. I can’t seem to stop talking about it, even to random people I work with. : ) I still pray day and night, even randomly throughout the day. I try and make time to pray the Roseary. (my goal is to say it daily) I still haven’t become apart of the parish. RCIA is at one parish, but I attend Mass at another.

As for what I do during Commuion… I go up with everyone else but I get a blessing instead. I sometimes feel a little awkward because I’m the only one my age doing that, but it shouldn’t matter. I just remind my self that everyone is focusing on the Blessed Sacrament and that I should be doing the same, even though I can’t recieve yet.

After Communion when every one kneels I pray:

My Jesus, I believe that Thou art present
in the Blessed Sacrament. I love Thee above all things
and I desire Thee in my soul.
Since I cannot now receive Thee sacramentally,
come at least spiritually into my heart.
As though thou wert already there,
I embrace Thee and unite myself wholly to Thee;
permit not that I should ever be separated from Thee.

Over all… Just lots and lots of prayer. Whenever I become uncertain I just pray. : ) I’ve prayed to St. Monica quite a bit lately, and not just for myself. St. Monica and St. Augustine of Hippo have become two of my favorite Saints.

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

My fiance has often attended mass with me and is interested in joining RCIA, however, when he got serious about it, it was too late. He is very uncomfortable with not being able to take communion & feels like he doesn’t belong.

My questions for those pre or post RCIA:

Did you still attend mass regularly?
What did you do during the Communion?
Did you become apart of the parish first?

I don’t want to push him to be Catholic, but I don’t want him to feel discouraged either, does anyone have any ideas of how I can console his discomfort?

Thanks.

1. I attend Mass every weekend and Holy Day of Obligation as my health permits. It’s not an option!
2. I attended Church for one year before even thinking of joining an RCIA program. During Communion, I just sat there. You can pray silently as one poster mentioned. It’s no big deal to do so and no one looks at you funny. Many people do just sit there. The Church welcomes all.
3. No, in fact we ended up joining a parish different from the one where we first attended church for a year. I think it was just because they had the most aggressive RCIA program, and also theirs started an hour later on Sunday.

Good for you both!

 

[CalCatholic]

My fiance has often attended mass with me and is interested in joining RCIA, however, when he got serious about it, it was too late. He is very uncomfortable with not being able to take communion & feels like he doesn’t belong.

My questions for those pre or post RCIA:

Did you still attend mass regularly?
What did you do during the Communion?
Did you become apart of the parish first?

I don’t want to push him to be Catholic, but I don’t want him to feel discouraged either, does anyone have any ideas of how I can console his discomfort?

Thanks.

My wife was Catholic but had not been attending Mass very often. I had been thinking of attending Church for about 3-4 years (the Holy Spirit working on me) and I started reading about and researching Christianity (not necessarily Catholicism). I read a lot and decided to go to Church, I decided to try the Catholic Church first. I never went anywhere else, I fell in love with the Church right away, I felt as if I had come home. I attended Mass for about 2-3 months before inquiring about RCIA. When everybody else went up for the Eucharist, I was encouraged to cross my arms across my chest and come up for a blessing (which I looked forward to each Sunday). The wait while you are inquiring about the Church and during the time you are in RCIA increases your longing to be able to walk up and accept the Body and Blood of our Lord! So keep encouraging him to go to Mass and let him know that he is vey important to the Church and is definitely part of it when he is in RCIA!

 

[Ganyssa]

My fiance has often attended mass with me and is interested in joining RCIA, however, when he got serious about it, it was too late. He is very uncomfortable with not being able to take communion & feels like he doesn’t belong.

My questions for those pre or post RCIA:

Did you still attend mass regularly?
What did you do during the Communion?
Did you become apart of the parish first?

I don’t want to push him to be Catholic, but I don’t want him to feel discouraged either, does anyone have any ideas of how I can console his discomfort?

Thanks.

I’m in RCIA this year, and started attending Mass the Sunday before Our Lady of Lourdes last year, so I spent a lot of time being the ‘odd one out’ before RCIA started. My daughter and I just stayed in the pew during Communion all those months. I wasn’t uncomfortable most of the time, except for one Sunday we attended a different parish. The Knights of Columbus ushered the people to the Communion line, and made it sort of awkward to not go up, although I’m sure they weren’t intending it that way. I imagine it was a traffic thing with unintended consequences.

I did join the parish while I was waiting to start RCIA, although I admit it was sort of by accident In a Protestant church, if you intend to attend it regularly, you ask for envelopes to make your life easier. The envelopes in the pew had an option to check to ask for envelopes, and I got a ‘join the parish’ questionnaire

I’d spent about 20 years of accidentally studying my way into the Catholic Church (I was raised anti-Catholic - my 9th grade history teacher was the first person to tell me that Catholics were Christians), so I knew I was joining the Church when the RCIA program finally got moving, so I figured, why not?

 

[aspirant]

He is very uncomfortable with not being able to take communion & feels like he doesn’t belong.

Most people who are already Catholic are unable to receive the Eucharist at some time or another. From our perspective, not receiving the Eucharist doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be there at Mass with us. Please tell him he’s always welcome!

What did you do during the Communion?

The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops encourages: “All who are not receiving Holy Communion are encouraged to express in their hearts a prayerful desire for unity with the Lord Jesus and with one another.” Your fiance can use his own words to do this.

When I go to Mass, I say my own prayer before receiving communion: “Lord, please extend the graces of this Eucharist to all those who are not able to receive, for whatever reason, inasmuch as they are able to receive your grace without condemnation, for their sanctification and salvation.” I started praying this before I became Catholic, and I still do it now. I pray this for everyone-- all over the world, no exceptions-- who is not able to receive communion at that time (including me, when I am not able to receive!).

 

[tinalewis]

My questions for those pre or post RCIA:

Did you still attend mass regularly?
What did you do during the Communion?
Did you become apart of the parish first?

I attended Mass several times a week for about 3 years in the 1990’s and stopped but then started attending again several times a week for 2 years prior to starting RCIA.

I sat in the pew during the distribution of Holy Communion and enjoyed watching the others receive. I’ve always loved to watch people receive Our Lord, ever since I was a child. And I especially love to watch it at the Pope’s televised Masses. Having the opportunity to enjoy seeing others receive Him might be the only thing I miss about not being Catholic. Now that I’m a Catholic, I’m too caught up in the moment of my own Communion to pay any attention to others, and when I distribute Holy Communion as a EMHC, I’m focused in a different way.

In the 1990’s, I was a reader during weekday Masses a couple of times a month and I also faciliated a support group at the parish. Right before I entered RCIA I was an adorer at a local perpetual adoration chapel.

It’s amazing what patience and the Holy Spirit can do.

 

[jem0715]

I am currently in RCIA and plan on fully entering into the faith at this year’s Easter Vigil.

Here’s my advice for your fiance…absolutley continue attending Mass. It’s so beautiful and can be so fulfilling. If I miss Mass; I just feel like something is missing from my entire week. I need my weekly Mass!

I would encourage him to attend and to keep learning and keep exploring his feelings. Even try to get to the holy day of obligation masses; I have found these to be very special and I learn a lot from them.

I attended regularly for 9 months before joining RCIA. I know that doesn’t seem like a long time, but I really felt (still feel! ) that I was being called to become Catholic.

During Communion, I just stay in the pew. Now that I am in RCIA, and I’m more comfortable, I do sometimes go up and cross my arms over my chest for a blessing from the priest. If he would like to try this I would say go before the priest. Some Eucharist ministers don’t get what you are doing!

I found myself longing for the Eucharist. I was nervous to sign up for RCIA, but I just felt so pulled to the Eucharist, that I could no longer sit back and not be able to participate in that Sacrament.

I do sometimes say the prayer that someone posted above. I even shared it with my RCIA class because I loved it so much. But sometimes I just think about my sins and tell Jesus that I love him and I can’t wait for the day when I can finally accept him sacramentally.

Also, tell him that is worth the wait. He shouldn’t feel bad or left out because he can’t take Communion now. If he really wants to do this and he joins RCIA he will discover on his own that it is SO worth the wait. I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am for Easter Vigil this year. I feel like this is the best thing I have ever done with my life!

I didn’t really become a part of the parish first. I volunteered for my church one time before joining RCIA. Everyone has been so wonderful, I now feel like I am a part of the parish community.

I truly hope and pray that everything works out for him.

 

[tmarie5]

Thank you everyone for your replies!

Sharing them with my boyfriend has really helped. Just being on these forums has opened up a whole new conversation for us and we’re both learning alot.

I did want to explain that part of why he often feels left out during Communion is because we often encouraged him to go up for the blessing and a couple times the Eucharistic Minister kind of looked at him funny as if they don’t understand the hands over his heart. This happened at two different churches so he doesn’t believe me when I say that its actually quite normal to see adults do that.

I hope these replies and continuing to go to church helps us continue to grow in our faith together.

Thanks again!

 

[aspirant]

as if they don’t understand the hands over his heart.

Please be aware that this is the normal posture for many Eastern Catholics when receiving the Eucharist. For this reason it is not a helpful sign that someone will not be receiving the Eucharist.

Also, please consult this topic moratorium.

 

[mswood]

I did want to explain that part of why he often feels left out during Communion is because we often encouraged him to go up for the blessing and a couple times the Eucharistic Minister kind of looked at him funny as if they don’t understand the hands over his heart. This happened at two different churches so he doesn’t believe me when I say that its actually quite normal to see adults do that.

I hope these replies and continuing to go to church helps us continue to grow in our faith together.

Thanks again!

We where told to only approach the priest or deacon in this manner as they are the only ones that may give a blessing, if he approached lay people in this manner they where either caught off guard or confused.

 

[tmarie5]

We where told to only approach the priest or deacon in this manner as they are the only ones that may give a blessing, if he approached lay people in this manner they where either caught off guard or confused.

As an EM at the chapel where we used to go, they encouraged all to come up for a blessing with their hand over their heart, so all the EMs were familiar with the sign, but this makes sense why we had not had the same experience at other parishes. Thanks we’ll keep this in mind.

 

[PJM]

=tmarie5;6303860]My fiance has often attended mass with me and is interested in joining RCIA, however, when he got serious about it, it was too late. He is very uncomfortable with not being able to take communion & feels like he doesn’t belong.

My questions for those pre or post RCIA:

I don’t want to push him to be Catholic, but I don’t want him to feel discouraged either, does anyone have any ideas of how I can console his discomfort?

Thanks.

***Here is some information you may share with him.

Pope Benedict XVI, *taking up right where JP II left off, shared these words in his acceptance of the chair of Peter homily.

“There cannot be your truth and my truth or there would be no truth.” In other words every issue can at base have ONLY one truth. On all matters of Faith and Morals, that truth has been placed with the Only Church, only religion, only faith actually and verifiably founded by God Himself. This church is the Catholic Church.

Matt.16 Verses 15 to 19 He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” Simon Peter replied, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” And Jesus answered him, "Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jona! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven. And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the powers of death shall not prevail against it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.ONLY IN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH

1. The keys [all of them] to the gates of heaven
2. The Seven Sacraments, all Instituted by Jesus. Including Baptism entry into Christ Own One True [and complete] church. Eucharist the gift from God, Of God, through God for our Spiritual nourishment. Reconciliation, the Sacrament of KNOWN forgiveness of sins. [John. 20:21-23 “Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. [COLOR=“red”]As the Father has sent me, even so I send you.” And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”
3. The Entire Bible and the exclusive authority to translate and explain this Catholic Book.
4. The Only Church, faith and religion founded by God, who actually remains present in the Church both as The Holy Spirit, and Jesus Himself in Eucharist, to protect Her truth and guide her.
5. The seat of Divine Wisdom and [all of the] truth on all matters of Faith and Morals
6. The specific group chosen by God as the NT “Chosen People.”**

Some things are:thumbsup: worth waiting for:thumbsup:

 

[Apryl]

I don’t want to push him to be Catholic, but I don’t want him to feel discouraged either, does anyone have any ideas of how I can console his discomfort?
.

There is a member of our church who has been a member for more than 15 years. I remember this because he and his wife were married more than 15 years ago. In the church. Her mother and her sisters, and all their children are active in the church.

This husband,(we’ll call him ‘Bill’) is very active in the church. He volunteers at the school for lunch time. He helps with pretty much every fund raiser. He is an active leading member of our new Men’s Club.

He is not Catholic. Never has been. No one ‘bugs’ him to become Catholic.

When it is time for Communion, he remains in his seat and sits quietly as his family approaches the altar. he doesn’t make a fuss about it.

In fact, I hadn’t noticed until someone else mentioned non-Catholics approaching for the Eucharist and his wife commented that he doesn’t go, so she couldn’t understand all the fuss.

If one is not Catholic, so be it! I don’t have a big issue with that. I do, however, have a big problem with non-Catholics playing Catholic!

If they want to BECOME Catholic, there are RCIA classes all over the diocese. If not at this church, at another. Heck, go to the priest’s office (or some other priest’s office) until you are in full communion.

But don’t rush it, and PLEASE don’t do it for show!

As a Catholic, I know this is the Body and Blood of Christ, and should be protected!

 

[Moscati]

My questions for those pre or post RCIA:

Did you still attend mass regularly?
What did you do during the Communion?
Did you become apart of the parish first?

I don’t want to push him to be Catholic, but I don’t want him to feel discouraged either, does anyone have any ideas of how I can console his discomfort?

Thanks.

I attended Mass more or less regularly for three years before I got up the courage to join RCIA–I’ll be received during the Easter Vigil this year. I never really felt like I was part of the parish until people got to know me in class this year, simply because I was there pretty much anonymously. I preferred it that way, because it let me think and learn without feeling pressured.

What to do during Communion is a sticky subject on the boards right now.

 

[Arianna09]

I attend mass for about 10 years on and off before I joined RCIA. Then, it was January and RCIA was already ‘in progress’. However, the Deacon told me to go ahead and come. I showed great effort in trying to catch up…I did all the assignments on my own and would take one of the Catechists out and ask questions that I came up with. I read the Bible and then was a big pester to the Deacon. I didn’t get to come in at the Easter Vigil that year, but he did let me enter at Pentacost. So, I only had about 5 months of RCIA. But, because he could see he wasn’t going to get rid of me easily, he let me push through. He didn’t get rid of me…as I still volunteer with the class.

During communion I usually just stayed in the pew. I didn’t feel comfortable going up for a blessing. I don’t know why, it was just me. I was excited when I learned the prayer for ‘Spiritual Communion’. I would sit in the pews and pray for Jesus to come spiritually into me since I could not go up to receive him.

I did become a parish member before joining. We had actually been going to another Catholic Church, where we got married, and I never felt connected there. When we moved, we went Catholic Church shopping (as we have about 4 very close…blessing!) and I feel in love with the one we are at. I became a parish member and signed up for RCIA shortly after that.

Also, a very humbling experience can be to go to a Spanish mass. They seem much stricter about their examination of conscience and many will not receive the Eucharist. I have to go every once in a while because of my work schedule…I do not speak any Spanish. I just bring/read the missle. Maybe that type of experience would let him know that even Catholics will often have to sit out from communion.