How did you tell your former church you were joining the Catholic Church?

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I am 18 years old and live in a Protestant family. I have been on this journey for 6 years. This Sunday is the last Sunday I will be a member of the protestant church I was raised in. My parents made me remain a member of their church until I go up in my high school cap in gown at their youth day service on Sunday.

I have no bitterness towards the people there, but I have only told a scarce few that I am leaving there church even though I go to Catholic Mass every Sunday. Now that I am about to leave, people at my parent’s church keep asking me to be in activities in the future, but I won’t be there. One lady wants to congratulate me on graduating high school the week after my last Sunday there. How do I tell people, in a loving way, that I am leaving their church? It will be abrupt to the them, because they don’t know I’ve been emotionally ready and planning to leave for four years. Do I need to say anything at all? They love me and I love them, but that is not truly my church home nor do I ever want it to be.

I am filled with incredible joy to come home to Holy Mother Church and receive Christ in the Eucharist!

Sancta Monica Ora Pro Nobis
 
Lead_Me_Home said:
. Do I need to say anything at all? They love me and I love them, but that is not truly my church home nor do I ever want it to be.
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Tell them that you love them, that you’ve appreciated their friendship over the years and hope to remain friends; but that you won’t be attending their church anymore because the Lord is leading you to join the Catholic Church (or something to that effect).

If you are close to these people, as you seem to be, it is only fair that you should say something to them before leaving. Otherwise, they will have no idea why you left and may take it personally.

I understand where you’re coming from, since I recently joined the Church myself. It can be a difficult time of transition, because most people from your former Protestant circles will not understand, and some will distance themselves from you.
 
Do like a friend of mine, a former Methodist, did:

He talked with his former pastor and explained his reasons for joining the Church. He offered the pastor a note to be included in their church bulletin, explaining his reasons for joining the Roman Catholic Church…just a few reasons, emphasizing the Real Presence in the Eucharist.

His pastor never printed his letter, but the two remain friends to this day, and the Methodist pastor was able to explain, in his own way, to his parishioners who asked, “Where did ____ go?”

Be upfront with the pastor. Who knows, you may lead someone else “home”.
 
I had to do this, too; it’s almost like breaking up! I went with the old Protestant standby line, “I just feel that God is leading me in a different direction…”
 
I think telling them just what you told us - I love you, your friendship means a lot to me and has meant a lot to me and I still want to have the relationships with you outside of Church, however I also crave the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist. This is not a decision I come to lightly but one I have prayed on over the last four years and this pull on my heart from God has never gone away. I hope that we can still see each other as Brothers and Sisters in Christ.
 
I don’t think you have any obligation to say anything right now, if you feel like you would attacked and nothing good would come out of it. When I converted, I wrote a one-page letter explaining why in very positive terms, including a couple of book recommendations, and I mailed it to every active adult woman in the church, which was about 50. That gave me a certain amount of distance, and I didn’t just disappear after spending 15 years as part of that fellowship.

I made an appointment with the pastor to let him know, and that was far less positive, but I think it was the right thing for me to do. It also confirmed my decision (not that it needed confirming at that point), because his attitude was dismissive and condescending and Not Helpful.
 
EvelynEVF said:
I don’t think you have any obligation to say anything right now, if you feel like you would attacked and nothing good would come out of it. When I converted, I wrote a one-page letter explaining why in very positive terms, including a couple of book recommendations, and I mailed it to every active adult woman in the church, which was about 50. That gave me a certain amount of distance, and I didn’t just disappear after spending 15 years as part of that fellowship.
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That’s an interesting way. How many people responded?
 
Four wrote me letters. I saw one on a walk. Two called, and one was my dental hygienist, so we talked about it at my next cleaning. There was a mix of positive and negative. The pastor’s wife was the most negative, as she was “saved out of the Catholic Church” by Campus Crusade, and came of age during the catrechetical vaccuum post VII. She was still able to phrase it as her experience just being very different from mine, and some things she thought I should look out for.

Most never responded. I figure I caused more cognitive dissonance than they could deal with.
 
There is absolutely no requirement that you tell your old church that you are leaving. Why would you do that, unless in your heart, you recognize that church as the legitimate one, and feel guilty about leaving it?

I did effectively et my old church know when I converted, but that was only because my grandfather was the Minister of that Church and I told him. As far as they were concerned, I had quite literally chosen to follow Satan. So, why would I go before the church itself and tell them?

Let your friends and family know, but there is absolutely no reason at all to go before the ministers and the congregation and tell them. In effect, that would be rubbing their faces with your choice.
 
There is absolutely no requirement that you tell your old church that you are leaving. Why would you do that, unless in your heart, you recognize that church as the legitimate one, and feel guilty about leaving it?

Uh, one would do it out of appreciation for the relationships formed, and out of courtesy. I don’t think it implies in any way that I recognized my old church as the real one or felt guilty about it. I also don’t think I was rubbing anybody’s face in it. It’s just polite to say goodbye if we are able to do it, and it is a way to evangelize.
 
EvelynEVF said:
There is absolutely no requirement that you tell your old church that you are leaving. Why would you do that, unless in your heart, you recognize that church as the legitimate one, and feel guilty about leaving it?

Uh, one would do it out of appreciation for the relationships formed, and out of courtesy. I don’t think it implies in any way that I recognized my old church as the real one or felt guilty about it. I also don’t think I was rubbing anybody’s face in it. It’s just polite to say goodbye if we are able to do it, and it is a way to evangelize.
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I agree. This can also be a nicer thing to do if one lives in a smaller community where one may run into many of these people again and again at the grocery store, etc and here the questions of why they do not attend Church anymore as the assumption may be that they have stopped going all together.
 
Lead_Me_Home said:
I am 18 years old and live in a Protestant family. I have been on this journey for 6 years. This Sunday is the last Sunday I will be a member of the protestant church I was raised in. My parents made me remain a member of their church until I go up in my high school cap in gown at their youth day service on Sunday.

I have no bitterness towards the people there, but I have only told a scarce few that I am leaving there church even though I go to Catholic Mass every Sunday. Now that I am about to leave, people at my parent’s church keep asking me to be in activities in the future, but I won’t be there. One lady wants to congratulate me on graduating high school the week after my last Sunday there. How do I tell people, in a loving way, that I am leaving their church? It will be abrupt to the them, because they don’t know I’ve been emotionally ready and planning to leave for four years. Do I need to say anything at all? They love me and I love them, but that is not truly my church home nor do I ever want it to be.

I am filled with incredible joy to come home to Holy Mother Church and receive Christ in the Eucharist!

Sancta Monica Ora Pro Nobis
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welcome to the Church! 😃

I’m a convert also… I didn’t tell everyone that I’m leaving my previous church. I wrote a letter to my friends and closer acquaintances - I was too afraid to tell people in person lol. If you feel you should tell people, keep it simple, like how you found a new church home and then they’ll probably ask what that church is, and just say it’s the Catholic Church. Whatever their reaction is, just stay friendly and charitable and that might be a really good witness 🙂

God bless 🙂
 
OP, have you asked your parents how they would prefer you handle this? It occurs to me that if you don’t write a letter or provide some kind of explanation, it all falls on their shoulders. That may be totally okay with them, or it may be a very stressful thing for them. When I left, I was fully an adult and lived hundreds of miles from my parents, so it didn’t affect them at all, so it wasn’t something I had to consider. Now that I think about it, my close friends in the “old” church may have been in a tough place, feeling like they had to have an explanation for how I could have sat under their leadership for 20 years and then gotten up and apostasized. Your parents may face the same awkwardness.
 
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