How do I choose what parish to join?

[St.Gimp]

Recently I moved into a new area, and am currently looking for a new parish to join. The parish where I was received into the Church was a middle-of-the-road Novus Ordo community, which I liked well enough. It was probably on the conservative side of the “American Church” spectrum, but not excessively so.

However, for a while now I have been visiting a variety of parishes, including one that says the Tridentine Mass every Sunday and a Maronite Cathedral. I’ve been considering applying for membership at the Tridentine parish, but I’m afraid that I might be motivated by pride and security more than anything else. It makes me feel holier to attend there, and it feels “safe” from the liturgical abuses in many NO parishes. These don’t seem like the best of motives.

(I’m not seriously considering joining the Maronites, since it would require switching rites, but I will likely attend there on occasion, regardless.)

But just yesterday I was in a local NO parish — which I had found due to its hosting an Irish Fair — and was disturbed by the irreverence of the people in the pews talking before Mass, when the priest came up to the podium and roundly chastised everyone for talking when they should be praying. I have never seen a priest stand up in front of the congregation and tell them to respect the ordinances of the Church like that (except at the Tridentine parish). So now I’m fluctuating between this parish and the one providing the Tridentine Mass.

Either way, I will continue making the occasional visit to parishes of varying rites and liturgies, but I need to find a home. I am not married, so this decision only affects me. At this point I realize that I will never find the “perfect parish,” but I don’t want to make a decision I’ll be sorry for later.

Is it better to stay with the majority of Catholics in the NO so I don’t feel segregated from the rest of the Church, or should I go with a place that’s more consistently solid and reverent (even if I have a hard time following the liturgy)?

 

[Toni]

I would continue to go to the parishes that you have spoke of until you feel comfortable enough to join one or the other.

It is so beneficial to the soul to go to a good parish where it helps to build your faith. But it is equally important that we all work to help the other parishes grow in holiness.

This is also difficult for me although in my area there is one parish that you can belong to or go to the Benedictines, Dominicans basically the orders that offer one Mass on Sunday’s.

But spiritually it is better for me to attend the Benedictine’s so when I feel myself getting weak and I start posting to many negatives about my parish, I go to the quiet Benedictine Mass for a few weeks to give me the strength that I need to help build the parish.

 

[anthony81OR]

What I would do is to pray. Praying is always a good thing. The reason why I went to the church I am in now is because, the priest there is awesome. He works with the youth a whole lot. And, I feel comfortable about the people there. I want to work with the youth and, this parish I am in now has lots of great youth to work with. I love helping out at church and, I try to help out as much as I can. You have to feel comfortable about the church you want to go. Just call the churches around to see if there is a particular mass you want to go to. If there is one right by your home. You’re lucky. If not, then God has another plan of giving you a church.
Anthony Nguyen

 

[sparkle]

St. Gimp:

Recently I moved into a new area, and am currently looking for a new parish to join. Is it better to stay with the majority of Catholics in the NO so I don’t feel segregated from the rest of the Church, or should I go with a place that’s more consistently solid and reverent (even if I have a hard time following the liturgy)?

I posed the very same question on these boards a while ago.

Go with your gut instinct brother~~~~it’s God leading you.

 

[csr]

St. Gimp:

I’m afraid that I might be motivated by pride and security more than anything else. It makes me feel holier to attend there,

I don’t think this is good reasoning: religion should nourish us. The Church is not herself a penance. We must make a respectful and holy sacrifice to God, and we must respond fittingly to the worship. Go where you are most nourished.

---

I have loved, O Lord, the beauty of thy house;
and the place where thy glory dwelleth. Psalm 25:8 *

 

[puzzleannie]

Outside of ritual or ethnic parishes, your parish is the community of Catholics residing within the geographic boundaries established by your bishop, whose authority you accepted when you joined the Catholic Church. Unless there is some compelling reason–need for special services such as sign language interpretation or Spanish Mass, abusive priest, radically distorted liturgy, heretical teaching and preaching–you belong in your territorial parish. Compelling reasons do not include: bigger parking lot, coffee and donuts after each Mass, preacher who says what I want to hear, my comfort level, quality of music, kids isolated in cry room, or fellow parishioners who are not people I would associate with socially.

 

[stbruno]

Whatever church you join, please consider becoming a fully active member of the church, not just a Sunday mass attendee. Not to say that is not important, that should be the fundamental. But the church needs members who fully participate in making the parish what it is fully capable of being. Whether it is in volunteering with the liturgy, volunteering at their parish school, volunteering in parish council, volunteering with works of charity within & outside the parish community. You are vital and needed. You will be nourished even more when you take an active role. Grace abounds for those who love HIM!