How do I convince my spouse?

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lizferg

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Brief history on our journey: When my husband and I first married, we attended a handful of different churches and denominations. After 7 years of that, we found a Missionary Alliance church and both of us had our “saved” moment and was baptized. It was very emotional and a wonderful experience. Since then, we’ve moved to another city and we could not find a church like where we left. I have been very bitter and disenchanted with all of the different denominations out there, so now I’m exploring Catholicism and finding that it’s a beautiful faith My husband jokes with me with all of my books on the subject and says “What, are we going Catholic now?” with a grin, he just shrugs his shoulders and walks away. We are going to Mass this Sunday (he’s just going for my sake) with a friend.
I really hope he experiences something that will make him more interested in exploring it for himself.
Do people start RCIA before they are really sure about joining the Church? I know my husband will not be into it as much as I will be.

Lizferg
 
Do people start RCIA before they are really sure about joining the Church?
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Hey lizferg,

People are usually encouraged to attend RCIA to explore the Catholic faith. It’s not just for those already ready to convert, or to change their Christian faith tradition. It is open to all; those just questioning, curious, or old timer Catholics that want to learn stuff.

The peace of Christ be with you always and in all ways.
 
b_justb said:
Hey lizferg,

People are usually encouraged to attend RCIA to explore the Catholic faith. It’s not just for those already ready to convert, or to change their Christian faith tradition. It is open to all; those just questioning, curious, or old timer Catholics that want to learn stuff.

The peace of Christ be with you always and in all ways.
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From experience, do you find that sceptical people that go through RCIA become convinced after going through it?
 
lizferg said:
From experience, do you find that sceptical people that go through RCIA become convinced after going through it?
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My husband was. 🙂 However, conversion is a work of the Holy Spirit and truthfully there’s nothing YOU can do to convince your husband that the Catholic Church is where the fullness of Truth resides. Your prayers and your encouragement may nudge him in that direction, but ultimately it depends on your husband hearing from God and answering His call. Praying for you both!
 
lizferg said:
That’s encouraging. Was he against it at first?
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Ha! You replied before I finished editing my first post.

Long story short: My husband and I both had our initial conversion experience in an independent, funamental, KJV-only Baptist church (doctrinally very similar to Missionary Alliance) and were taught nasty, horrible things about Catholicism. I had become involved in discussions with Catholics on another forum and learned that what I’d been told about the Catholic faith was not true at all! I began reading conversion stories and books that explained the Catholic faith.

My husband wasn’t really reading along with me, so he was quite floored when I told him I had to be Catholic, but he trusted that I had done my homework and knew I wouldn’t be making this change in my life if it wasn’t for the Holy Spirit leading me. He did some reading over last summer and it was during the Inquiry sessions that he revealed that God had spoken to him as well and he knew he had to be Catholic. He actually joked, “I think she’s been whispering in my ear while I sleep!” 😃
 
My husband’s main concern is how our families will react. I know that should not be a factor, but that makes him nervous. He has grown quite numb to religion and doesn’t care where I take him to church anymore. It’s more for the kids now. Which is the next question I have. We have 3, ages 8,6, and 2. I wonder how our older two will react to the Catholic Church after going to non-denominatal services with all of the fun and games that they do.

Lizferg
 
lizferg said:
My husband’s main concern is how our families will react. I know that should not be a factor, but that makes him nervous. He has grown quite numb to religion and doesn’t care where I take him to church anymore. It’s more for the kids now. Which is the next question I have. We have 3, ages 8,6, and 2. I wonder how our older two will react to the Catholic Church after going to non-denominatal services with all of the fun and games that they do.

Lizferg
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Oh I know all about that - my husband’s brother is working towards being a pastor in the Nazarene church. He attended a Nazarene Bible College in Colorado for a few years, and recently returned “home” and is finishing his degree online. I’m not sure he even knows we’re Catholic yet! I’ve always (well, for the last 16 years or so) been the “religious nut” in my family so it wasn’t a huge deal to them that I became Catholic. Neither my mom nor my 2 sisters attend church on a regular basis so they really weren’t in a position to question my choice. Pretty much the same with my husband’s family. His grandparents on his father’s side attend a Church of Christ, but other than them and his brother, none of his family are church-goers.

Many parishes will offer a Children’s Liturgy of the Word, where the kids are dismissed just prior to the readings and come back to Mass during the Preparation for the Eucharist. Not sure how “fun and games” it is, but it will be something geared to helping them understand the Word at their level. Some parishes only offer this through the school year, but it couldn’t hurt to ask about it wherever you are attending.
 
Lizferg , or anyone else:
Suppose your husband really didn’t want
to follow you or really wasn’t interested ??

Or what if the kids later on are no longer interested ??

Salute & Cheers from a NON BELIEVER:
– Laurent LUG (.@…), june 28, 2008
 
Kay_Cee said:
There’s a book entitled When Only One Converts.

You can find it here: amazon.com/When-Only-Converts-Lynn-Nordhagen/dp/0879733152/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1214663680&sr=8-1

I haven’t read it myself, but perhaps someone who has can comment on it. You can at least read the reviews on Amazon.

Hope this helps!
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I read it in Feb '07, when I wasn’t sure that my husband would be open to Catholicism. It’s similar to the Surprised By Truth books in that each chapter is a different person’s story. Some spouses react better than others - some of them eventually became Catholic, some continued to attend their non-Catholic Church but did not begrudge the Catholic their choice to convert, one wife filed for divorce. After reading that book I was prepared for just about any reaction from my husband.
 
Pixie_Dust said:
Ha! You replied before I finished editing my first post.

Long story short: My husband and I both had our initial conversion experience in an independent, funamental, KJV-only Baptist church (doctrinally very similar to Missionary Alliance) and were taught nasty, horrible things about Catholicism. I had become involved in discussions with Catholics on another forum and learned that what I’d been told about the Catholic faith was not true at all! I began reading conversion stories and books that explained the Catholic faith.

My husband wasn’t really reading along with me, so he was quite floored when I told him I had to be Catholic, but he trusted that I had done my homework and knew I wouldn’t be making this change in my life if it wasn’t for the Holy Spirit leading me. He did some reading over last summer and it was during the Inquiry sessions that he revealed that God had spoken to him as well and he knew he had to be Catholic. He actually joked, “I think she’s been whispering in my ear while I sleep!” 😃
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This is almost exactly my conversion story, except that my husband was the one who wanted to convert and I was the reluctant one. 🙂

Pray, pray, pray. Encourage him to read books about Catholicism and/or invite him to participate in these forums. Ask him to attend RCIA with you. Hopefully, someday, he’ll come around.
 
I took my husband to Mass last week and on the way home he asked all kinds of questions. It’s so foreign to him (and to me) but I was glad that he was asking. He worried if Catholics didn’t believe in being saved. I answered him the best of my understaning. He seemed OK with it. He asked where we were going to church this Sunday and said he didn’t mind going to another Mass as along as we go somewhere. That’s encouraging. I am going to find out about RCIA tomorrow and hope for the best.
Wish me luck…and your prayers.
Lizferg
 
lizferg said:
Do people start RCIA before they are really sure about joining the Church? I know my husband will not be into it as much as I will be.

Lizferg
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Yes, that’s its purpose. The inquiry period can last as long as a person would like while they explore the Faith. There is no commitment.

Only if one decides to become Catholic they go through the Rites to formally progress to the Sacraments of Initiation.

As for skeptics, when I was on the RCIA team in my old city we had a Hindu man married to a Catholic. He argued with priests/speakers about the Real Presence and the Trinity for years while in the inquiry period of RCIA. He is now a Catholic. Those who struggle the most often become the most devout.
 
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