How do I explain the importance of confession?

[Follower90]

My husband is a catholic, he attends (watches atm) mass weekly and says his prayers however I would like to strengthen his knowledge of the catholic faith a bit more. He is reluctant to go to confession (last time I got him to go, 2 years ago almost, it felt like he was in there for 10 seconds). Today we ended up talking about death and I told him that you have to be in a state of grace to enter heaven, you need a confession before you die and if you die without, you are damned and go to hell. He said he doesn’t think that’s true and that he believes if you are truly sorry in your heart, the God he’s been taught to know and love wouldn’t allow that. I’m not great at debates and was wondering if anyone could help me with this please?

 

[Follower90]

It would be extremely hard to persuade him to do that. I’ve suggested having the priest over before and he wasn’t keen one bit. We have no good catholic friends either and it doesn’t help that his mum has the same outlook as him.

 

[annad347]

Ask him if you, do something he does like to him. Based on how you act he will know you might be sorry for what you did, but wouldnt it feel better and a little more assured, your sorry if you willing go to him, humble yourself and say your sorry?

Same thing with tour Father in heaven. God knows our hearts, He knows our minds… but it also pleases Him to hear us speak to Him by our own free will.

Just like the knows you love him (your husband) but that doesnt mean you dont like to hear it once in awhile.

Besides God wants us to confess our sins out loud. So tell your husband, because you love God, make Him happy, go to confession.

 

[MeganCecilia]

Maybe you can broach it in a way that isn’t JUST about hell. Yes God is a forgiving God and with “perfect contrition” he can forgive us if we can’t make it to confession. We do not always have this perfect contrition though. And in confession it is so comforting to hear the words “you’re absolved!” So even if your husband believes that he can be forgiven without confession, the added security is helpful. Also confessing our sins helps us to avoid committing future ones and make us stronger that way.

You could show him some scripture. Like the verse that says “whichever sins you forgive are forgiven in heaven and whichever sins you bound are bound” (that’s not the same wording but it’s the general idea). The priests were given the power and authority by God to do this. So there is the validity of the confession.

Father Mike Schmitz with Ascension Presents is a great priest who has YouTube videos on this topic. These could help him.

However, make sure you do not overwhelm him with all the information. Be patient with him and continue to encourage him. Doing the opposite may push him further from the idea of going to confession. And keep PRAYING for God to give him the grace to want to go to confession. You can dedicate this intention while praying a Rosary or the Divine Mercy Chaplet.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Are you in the US? If so, sign up for FORMED.org

Watch the series called “Forgiven” together with your husband.

 

[CilladeRoma]

I understand you love your husband and are worried about his soul, but you had no right to tell him without confession he is condemned to Hell. Not even the Church teaches this as an absolute.
If you want to bring your husband closer to the Church, do so with love and by your example, not with threats of damnation.

 

[mary77]

I think private confession behind a screen is best, probably some people stopped going to confession when it became open face to face. I think people dont realize that confession means you are on t rack , you are paying attention and discerning that you are off track and revealing it to the priest and being forgiven heals us and puts us back on track where we go foward fresh on the long journey home.