How do I express my traditional views?

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denitaA

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'd like some advice on how to talk to the “modern” Catholics about my traditional views without getting into an argument or something. I met a lady who was an Eucharistic minister, and I kept apologizing for disagreeing with her over subjects like lay minsters blessing children,etc. I get very uncomfortable about expressing myself. This thread may not make sense. Sorry. Any advice?:confused:
 
I am an EM and we are not suppose to bless anyone - child or adult – that is for the priest and/or deacon. I’m somewhat of a traditional Catholic in that I would love to have the Latin Mass at my church but I know it is a long way off and I’m not close to a church who does a Latin Mass. I have enjoyed very much serving my church in many ways including being a communion minister which I have done since the 80s but I’d give it all up in a second to go backwards. I am also one of two ladies in my church to veil and the other lady is 97 and I have never seen her without a head covering including a few weeks ago when we had pictures taken at the church for a directory.
 
It sounds like you were merely expressing your opinions in a reasonable and polite manner. Which you have every right to do. I know that it’s uncomfortable because our inclination is (rightly so) not to hurt anyone’s feelings. However, simply having and expressing a point of view that may be different from another’s is totally okay. It can lead to an interesting exchange of information and does not have to be fractious. In my opinion, for what it’s worth, you’re doing okay. 🙂
 
Are you offering your polite criticism of the whole EM practice when it wasn’t asked for? That’s the only reason I can think of that someone might be annoyed with you. For example, if I was telling someone about my new dress I bought and they said, “I don’t think orange is becoming on people with dark hair.” They didn’t say anything particularly rude. Their tone might not have been offensive. The problem was, no one asked what they thought of orange dresses and dark hair. Now, if I’d said, “Do you think the color of this dress will look good on me?” Then it would have been a perfectly polite and charitable remark.

In regards to EMing, if someone said something along the lines of, “How do you think we could make the Mass more reverent?” “Do you think we have enough EMs?” or “Do you think I should become an EM?” Than your opinion is certainly warrented. If someone says, “I’m looking forward to being an EM this weekend.” then it probably wouldn’t be appropriate to state your opinion at that time.

So, I guess what I’m saying is, timing is everything.
 
denitaA said:
'd like some advice on how to talk to the “modern” Catholics about my traditional views without getting into an argument or something. I met a lady who was an Eucharistic minister, and I kept apologizing for disagreeing with her over subjects like lay minsters blessing children,etc. I get very uncomfortable about expressing myself. This thread may not make sense. Sorry. Any advice?:confused:
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We tow the line at my NO parish so I have no problem with Mass. However, we have a bible study and that’s where my traditional opinions come out. There were some who strongly disagreed with me in the beginning on many subjects but we have learned to accept each others opinions. When someone really says something wrong, I always, in charity, counter with my opinion. I’ve been going to the LM a couple of sundays a month for about 20 years and, in the past, when I would tell someone I was going there, they would respond like I had the plague. I still get that but not as much. You have to be yourself and maybe when they say something you don’t agree with, you could tell them that you like this or that, whatever it is you like. It puts a more positive spin on it and it’s charitable. Be a little diplomatic but get your opinion across. Even then, they may quit talking to you but so what! You have to be yourself and Tradition is worth fighting for!
 
Try to be clear in your own mind about the distinction between Church teaching and personal opinion. If the Church teaches something then you have a right to state it forcefully and without compromise. For example, the Church does teach that it is wrong for EMHCs to give blessings so you do not need to be apologetic for stating that. Just be calm and matter of fact. If possible, find quotes from official Church documents that support what you are saying.

When you are talking about personal opinions, then be clear that is all they are. Qualify your statements with phrases like “in my experience” or “in my opinion”. Talk about your feelings. For example, let’s say you do not like having female altar servers at Mass. This is permitted by the Church so it is only your personal opinion. You could say things like, “In my experience, I have seen this or that problem with this practice,” or “In my opinion, it is likely have this or that bad effect.” (I am not giving actual examples here or else people will start talking about them and not answer your question. 🙂 )
 
Use this verse as an aspiration and pray it in these situations. The gentle St Francis de Sales used this verse often.

[BIBLEDRB]Matthew 11:28-29[/BIBLEDRB]
 
The Church also states that EMHC’S aren’t supposed to be used every Sunday and are only to be used in extraordinary circumstances. The way it’s done now is not what the Church had envisioned.

I highly recommend the book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. It covers these types of things.
 
Deo_Gratias42 said:
The Church also states that EMHC’S aren’t supposed to be used every Sunday and are only to be used in extraordinary circumstances. The way it’s done now is not what the Church had envisioned.
/QUOTE]

We have to remember that firstly, the Church does not mean ‘Extraordinary’ in the sense of being very rare, but in contrast to ‘Ordinary’, that is, the clergy .
Secondly, the situation has changed. When EMHCs were brought in (well over twenty years ago I know for certain, as I have been an EMHC for 24 years and they were established before then) there were VERY many more priests available to help with Holy Communion. Nowadays, we all know how dire the situation is in many areas, and so the need is much greater than first envisaged.
In other words, that was then, this is now.
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In most cases you expose yourself as a traditionalist as soon as you open your mouth. Belive me, they can tell, almost by instinct. If this lady is already into blessing children in her capacity as EMHC, then she has already bought into a way of thinking that you are in no position to change, so just let it go. It’s the local bishop’s problem anyway.

But if you want to make things interesting for both of you, you could coax her out onto a limb in related areas.

For example, if she mentions she routinely blesses children while distributing communion, you could ask her opinion on a logical extension of her practice: wouldn’t it seem natural, that if EMHCs can distribute communion and give blessings, that they should surround the altar and elevate their ciboria and chalices together with the priest at the Ecce? Because after all, to do so would emphasize the linking, mediatorial role that EMHCs play between the ordained and the laity. (Notice the subtle wandering into quasiheretical territory there?)
 
To the OP -

You should not let this go. There is no such thing as Traditionalist, Liberal or other divisions within the Church. It causes confusion and scandal, when others unknowingly, or knowingly, do the wrong things in Church. The Church is the House of God. And only the Magisterium, the teaching authority of the Church, decides what is permitted and what is not.

The laity has a big role to play in this. I heard a priest on Catholic Radio say that “we cannot do this by ourselves.” So, the average Catholic in the pews should help.

It will require a little work on our part to understand what the norms are:

usccb.org/prayer-and-worship/roman-missal/background/articles-documents-and-reflections/roman-missal-liturgy-guides.cfm

So, before anyone apologizes for their lack of knowledge or disagrees with a certain practice, speak with your priest. “Father, I observed ] at Mass today. I don’t understand why this was allowed.” If you have a reasonable certainty that a certain practice, words or actions were not allowed and you did not receive a clear and unambiguous answer from your priest, I suggest contacting your Bishop. Of course, be polite and open to correction at all times and do not be afraid to ask additional questions after careful thought.

Peace,
Ed
 
Thanks, everyone:thankyou: I really appreciate this. I did use an “I” statement when I told her" I prefer to receive communion from a priest, or maybe a deacon. I go to the EF Mass almost exclusively now, so this isn’t much of a problem. For me, the EF Mass is less distracting, even High Mass. But I think I got across to her that this is howI feel, and not trying to tell her it’s wrong. The only thing that worried me was when she said that the Holy Father said it was OK for EMs to bless. But that may be the topic for another thread.:hmmm:
 
denitaA said:
The only thing that worried me was when she said that the Holy Father said it was OK for EMs to bless. But that may be the topic for another thread.:hmmm:
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This is a question of fact rather than opinion. Either he said or he did not. Maybe you should start a thread to ask for the documentation that shows this person was wrong. Also, if she makes a claim, then ask her to support it with documentation.
 
You will reach a point in your spiritul life where you will no longer argue with liberals. You will just leave them alone. I am happy at my EF parish. All of the rules are followed, there is no abuse at Mass, there is no profanation of the blessed sacrament, all of the people are there by choice and most importantly almost everyone has the same views on their Catholic faith.

I know you want to spread the joy you find in the EF, but you need to be warned you will be persecuted for it. The liberation and “inclusiveness” that has been drilled into most Catholics today is virtually impossible to remove with passive talking. You will be dismissed as either “uncatholic”, “Anti-Woman”, “archaic”, “not in line with vatican II”, etc.

I am happy now. I try not to argue in person. I no longer try to convert people either. I don’t have to deal with all of the stuff that bothers me at the OF. People slowly start attending the EF Mass and over time attend more and more. When I talk to them the overarching theme is that the EF is freedom from abuse, more God focused, etc.

You have to choose your battles.
 
moon1234 said:
You will reach a point in your spiritul life where you will no longer argue with liberals. You will just leave them alone. I am happy at my EF parish. All of the rules are followed, there is no abuse at Mass, there is no profanation of the blessed sacrament, all of the people are there by choice and most importantly almost everyone has the same views on their Catholic faith.

I know you want to spread the joy you find in the EF, but you need to be warned you will be persecuted for it. The liberation and “inclusiveness” that has been drilled into most Catholics today is virtually impossible to remove with passive talking. You will be dismissed as either “uncatholic”, “Anti-Woman”, “archaic”, “not in line with vatican II”, etc.

I am happy now. I try not to argue in person. I no longer try to convert people either. I don’t have to deal with all of the stuff that bothers me at the OF. People slowly start attending the EF Mass and over time attend more and more. When I talk to them the overarching theme is that the EF is freedom from abuse, more God focused, etc.

You have to choose your battles.
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Moon1234- Thanks. This is the best advice yet. God bless you.:gopray::harp:
 
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