How do I find a spiritual director?

[lak611]

I have heard that laypeople can get spiritual direction from a priest who is their personal spiritual director. How does one find a priest to become one’s personal spiritual director? Please don’t tell me to ask my pastor, since he is overworked, running two parishes at the moment. Also, it there any cost associated with having a spiritual director? I am currently laid-off and do not have a lot of money, but once I find a new job, I would be willing to give a donation to the priest for his help. I want to grow in my faith, and I think a spiritual director would be of great help to me.

 

[LilyM]

Some directors do charge, many don’t. Your spiritual director doesn’t have to be a priest either - if there is a nun or even a knowledgeable layperson you feel could be a good spiritual guide then approach them! The only difference being that a nun or layperson can’t hear your confession.

You might want to see if there is a branch of Opus Dei in your area as well - they seem to make something of a specialty of providing spiritual direction.

 

[lak611]

Some directors do charge, many don’t. Your spiritual director doesn’t have to be a priest either - if there is a nun or even a knowledgeable layperson you feel could be a good spiritual guide then approach them! The only difference being that a nun or layperson can’t hear your confession.

You might want to see if there is a branch of Opus Dei in your area as well - they seem to make something of a specialty of providing spiritual direction.

The nun that I knew from my parish is no longer there. She got reassigned by her order to a parish in Florida, and I live in Cleveland, OH. I would prefer a priest, so he could hear my confession. I’m not familiar with anybody belonging to Opus Dei in my parish, or any others in the area for that matter. Are there priests in Opus Dei, or is that strictly a layperson’s group?

 

[kevathaide01]

There are several priests online, blogging, moderating forums, etc. If you can create a relationship, isn’t that a good way of spiritual direction?

 

[lak611]

There are several priests online, blogging, moderating forums, etc. If you can create a relationship, isn’t that a good way of spiritual direction?

I would welcome any suggestions from them, but I do want to find somebody I can talk to face-to-face in order to be able to receive the Sacrament of Penance.

 

[Aureole]

Pray about it and ask a priest.

I simply asked a priest in a nearby parish if he would be available for to give me spiritual direction. Since you also want him to hear your confession, ask him if he would hear your confession while giving you spiritual direction.

 

[mercygate]

I have heard that laypeople can get spiritual direction from a priest who is their personal spiritual director. How does one find a priest to become one’s personal spiritual director? Please don’t tell me to ask my pastor, since he is overworked, running two parishes at the moment. Also, it there any cost associated with having a spiritual director? I am currently laid-off and do not have a lot of money, but once I find a new job, I would be willing to give a donation to the priest for his help. I want to grow in my faith, and I think a spiritual director would be of great help to me.

You don’t have to ask your pastor to BE your spiritual director, but he might point you in the direction of someone who does this. Are there nearby monasteries? Sometimes they offer spiritual direction or could give you a lead towards someone who could meet your need.

 

[T.A.Stobie_SFO]

Check out my page on Spiritual Direction: “Essentials of Spiritual Direction”

 

[Saint_Michael]

I recieved spiritual direction from an Opus Dei priest. He spent 20 minutes deciphering my education levels and how much money I made, told me go to confession weekly and daily Mass once a week, then he never called me back, or emailed me. (maybe I wasn’t educated enough or wealthy enough therefore not Opus Dei material and not worth wasting time on)…

I gave up on spiritual direction after that episode. I don’t want to put all Opus Dei priests in the same basket, but I would not recommend receiving spiritual direction from them. I was also taken back by the opulence of their Manhattan complex, really unecessary opulence, everything solid mahoganny, marble fixtures etc… Not my scene at all.

 

[Vivemus]

I recieved spiritual direction from an Opus Dei priest. He spent 20 minutes deciphering my education levels and how much money I made, told me go to confession weekly and daily Mass once a week, then he never called me back, or emailed me. (maybe I wasn’t educated enough or wealthy enough therefore not Opus Dei material and not worth wasting time on)…

I gave up on spiritual direction after that episode. I don’t want to put all Opus Dei priests in the same basket, but I would not recommend receiving spiritual direction from them. I was also taken back by the opulence of their Manhattan complex, really unecessary opulence, everything solid mahoganny, marble fixtures etc… Not my scene at all.

wow that is terrible…did you try and contact him. It should never matter how much or how little you make or your education. When i meet someone for direction i meet them where they are at.

lak611: in looking for a spiritual director…try contacting retreat centers if any in your area, check with any religious orders…for example the Jesuits. Hope you are able to find someone…

 

[lak611]

Thank you to those of you who suggested orders and/or monasteries. We do have those in Cleveland. We have a Jesuit retreat house and a Benedictine monastery. I will check with them.

As for Opus Dei, I don’t think they are in Cleveland. I’m sure that if they were, they would have said something when “DaVinci Code” book and movie came out, but there was nothing in my diocese’s newspaper or in the local paper or radio/TV news, so I don’t think we have them. I’m not looking for a worldly group anyway, especially since I am laid-off right now (although I am a college graduate), so I would not consider them. To the poster who had such a terrible experience with them, I’m sorry to hear that. That doesn’t sound like spiritual direction anyway. I already do attend Mass at least once during the week in addition to Sunday Mass and do confess regularly, so that type of thing would not provide anything new for me.

 

[DaughterSorrow]

I have heard that laypeople can get spiritual direction from a priest who is their personal spiritual director. How does one find a priest to become one’s personal spiritual director? Please don’t tell me to ask my pastor, since he is overworked, running two parishes at the moment. Also, it there any cost associated with having a spiritual director? I am currently laid-off and do not have a lot of money, but once I find a new job, I would be willing to give a donation to the priest for his help. I want to grow in my faith, and I think a spiritual director would be of great help to me.

I would check with your Diocese to see if they have an Institute for Spiritual Direction if you want someone to talk with frequently, as parish priest tend to get busy.

In Peace,
DS

 

[lak611]

I would check with your Diocese to see if they have an Institute for Spiritual Direction if you want someone to talk with frequently, as parish priest tend to get busy.

In Peace,
DS

Thank you, DS. That was very helpful, as well.

 

[Saint_Michael]

wow that is terrible…did you try and contact him. It should never matter how much or how little you make or your education. When i meet someone for direction i meet them where they are at.

No I never contacted him afterwards he was clear that he would call or email me. He had me leave my phone number and email address. He said he would call or write in three weeks to set up an appointment. In all I felt rushed and blown off. I wouldn’t reccomend using Opus Dei unless you have a masters and make tons of money. I think that’s what they look for to dedicate their time to helping you (hence the 20 minute dialogue on my education and money I make, and three minutes of actual spiritual direction). At least the prospect that you can be a contributor in the future.

 

[Aureole]

I recieved spiritual direction from an Opus Dei priest. He spent 20 minutes deciphering my education levels and how much money I made, told me go to confession weekly and daily Mass once a week, then he never called me back, or emailed me. (maybe I wasn’t educated enough or wealthy enough therefore not Opus Dei material and not worth wasting time on)…

I gave up on spiritual direction after that episode. I don’t want to put all Opus Dei priests in the same basket, but I would not recommend receiving spiritual direction from them. I was also taken back by the opulence of their Manhattan complex, really unecessary opulence, everything solid mahoganny, marble fixtures etc… Not my scene at all.

You should really write this priest again and voice your concerns. He shouldn’t be treating people this way whatsoever. Write him and tell him, but do it with charity. Of course, he could have forgot to get back to you, unlikely though it seems.

 

[demerzel85]

I recieved spiritual direction from an Opus Dei priest. He spent 20 minutes deciphering my education levels and how much money I made, told me go to confession weekly and daily Mass once a week, then he never called me back, or emailed me. (maybe I wasn’t educated enough or wealthy enough therefore not Opus Dei material and not worth wasting time on)…

I gave up on spiritual direction after that episode. I don’t want to put all Opus Dei priests in the same basket, but I would not recommend receiving spiritual direction from them. I was also taken back by the opulence of their Manhattan complex, really unecessary opulence, everything solid mahoganny, marble fixtures etc… Not my scene at all.

Well my own experience has been rather different, but I think in terms of Spirtual Direction you at least must have some sense of what sort of direction you’d like to move in. Personally I chose to have an Opus Dei SD because of their Orthodoxy.

Frequently receiving the sacraments may seem like something simple and something one would already know. But its just the basics. Reading Scripture regularly on one’s own is what most Catholics should already know. The whole point of it is actually doing them. There is no point in spiritual direction in assuming you already know something and that your SD would not be able to offer additional (name removed by moderator)ut.

And well its obvious if you ask another person whom you’ve never previously know to be your SD, there would need to take some time to get to know one another. And well in terms of meeting up, its one’s own responsibility to actually call and schedule a suitable time. Just because a SD is a Priest doesnt mean he can read your mind. If you want something or are in need or something voicing it out would be more than logical. Expecting to be spoon fed speaks of passivity.

 

[Saint_Michael]

Well my own experience has been rather different, but I think in terms of Spirtual Direction you at least must have some sense of what sort of direction you’d like to move in. Personally I chose to have an Opus Dei SD because of their Orthodoxy.

Frequently receiving the sacraments may seem like something simple and something one would already know. But its just the basics. Reading Scripture regularly on one’s own is what most Catholics should already know. The whole point of it is actually doing them. There is no point in spiritual direction in assuming you already know something and that your SD would not be able to offer additional (name removed by moderator)ut.

And well its obvious if you ask another person whom you’ve never previously know to be your SD, there would need to take some time to get to know one another. And well in terms of meeting up, its one’s own responsibility to actually call and schedule a suitable time. Just because a SD is a Priest doesnt mean he can read your mind. If you want something or are in need or something voicing it out would be more than logical. Expecting to be spoon fed speaks of passivity.

I wrote this ealier but I don’t think you read it:

"No I never contacted him afterwards he was clear that he would call or email me. He had me leave my phone number and email address. He said he would call or write in three weeks to set up an appointment."

The priest was clear that he would contact me to set an appointment in three weeks. You can’t judge my experience. I relayed my experience to the OP because I lived it. If you would like to relay yours that’s great, but don’t try to analyze my experience into some sort of shortcoming on my end when I was blatantly blown off by a priest who had no intention of offering spiritual direction to someone who is an ex-marine making 50K a year, and just a H.S. diploma. That’s what happened, if your experience was different great, but don’t try to call me out as dishonest or something. Not all priests are saints man.

 

[demerzel85]

You can’t judge my experience.

Not trying to find fault, I intended to post a general comment based on what you said. But it seems I forgot and started using ‘you’.

Why dont you try to get in touch again? Sometimes Priests have rather busy periods and can forget. Personally I know of friends who had their e-mails unanswered by a Priests for months, but in a chance meeting the Priest still recalls the contact.

 

[kevathaide01]

There are several priests online, blogging, moderating forums, etc. If you can create a relationship, isn’t that a good way of spiritual direction?

Sorry. That suggestion was inappropriate. Long distance spiritual direction cannot work well. It’s a good source for advice, though.

 

[ben182]

I found an Opus Dei spiritual director a few months ago. He’s been great. But i do understand that experience seems to differ for various reasons. It also depends on who you find by some chance in certain centers. I’m in the Philippines and I have heard similar comments as “St_Michael” made in the US from other Americans. But over here, i had some initially disappointing experiences when I tried to approach a director in one center but I had a good experience in a other. At first, i thought that there was some discrimination based on the fact the I didn’t have work at that time. I was only looking to attend some Doctrine classes but was discouraghed because I was not working at that time. It was explained to me later that having work was essential as, otherwise, the doctrine classes would be useless without any application for it. Later, i was also told that perhaps his person In was speaking to was being picky because the center was already quite full.

Thankfully, before that experience, I met a good Spanish Opus Dei priest who is both my regular confessor and spiritual director. Now he just started doctrine classes once a week!!..so there’ll be regular fellowship and learning as well in this center I go to plus the monthly recollections.

Just don’t let one experience get you down in your search …though I do understand how that can feel. I was educated by the Jesuits but, as much as I’ve loved my Jesuit education, I’ve also had disappointments with them. I hope that you find some good guidance and direction.