How do I go about people gossiping?

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So I’ve been going to bible study for a few weeks and at first I was somewhat shy and like anyone, scared to be judged when talking out loud. The guy having the Bible study class assured to me that this was a safe place that everything in there stays there like all classes held at church should be right? I felt really comfortable in that class I didn’t feel like anyone was judgmental until I went to RCIA and they’re both held at the same time and same day so I didn’t go to my normal bible study but to RCIA with my boyfriend since he’s just getting his confirmation and I thought I could give him company this time while learning more about the Catholic faith because that’s the main reason why I felt the need to go. I went 2 times recently and the first time I really liked what they had to teach and everyone was very talkative saying some really enlightening stuff. But this one woman from the 2 times I’ve been there has been talking about how she’s a “big gossip” as she calls herself. And I didn’t really think anything of it, didn’t judge her for it because I just thought “oh well she’s acknowledging it so she’s probably trying to be better”. This other person in RCIA that I encouraged to go let me know that the second time I went that woman and this other one were talking about me and how I made a face when the topic of Joe Biden and his political views being different from his religious views. I don’t recall ever making a negative face but it could have been I made a face of surprise because that was the first time hearing about that. (I don’t really watch the news) But they were talking about me and who I was and the person that let me know was contemplating already to stop going to the classes because of the gossiping. She’s heard the 2 ladies talking about me gossip before and even the teacher. I am not hurt knowing people gossip about me it does make me a little angry that these people who seem to think they’re holier than thou and are doing this when we are in a happy environment and straying away from sinning should be at the all time high at the time. We just got out of church we just had an amazing class and the first thing you do is gossip going back to your biggest weakness? I just don’t understand. I was wanting to confront the ladies and ask why they would possibly think judging me is okay for something as little as me making a face. I do not want the person I encouraged to go to that class leave the church completely because of people like this. This is my biggest issue. With her going she could be encouraging more people to become closer to the church and I just don’t want her to stray away from a good place just because of a few people. Should I bring this up to the pastor? And what could I possibly say to the person I encouraged to go so she can fight through this and stay? Should I confront those ladies gossiping?
 
To be really honest, it is difficult to read a giant block of space with no paragraph breaks, so, my answer is going to be general.

Do sit down with the RCIA leader or with your pastor and talk about your concerns. We are bad evangelists, poor disciples, if we are relishing in gossip.

The political discussions are not proper in RCIA or Bible Study. In fact, people are putting your Church’s tax exempt status in danger by discussing particular politicians or parties. I would privately ask the leader if they are aware of the USCCB’s directives (portion below, read more at the links):

http://www.usccb.org/issues-and-act...d-donts-guidelines-during-election-season.cfm

Non-Partisanship: The Church does not and will not engage in partisan politics. Pastors may wish to publish the following bulletin announcement in the weeks before the election.

Bulletin Announcement:

We strongly urge all parishioners to register, to become informed on key issues, and to vote. The Church does not support or oppose any candidate, but seeks to focus attention on the moral and human dimensions of issues. We do not authorize the distribution of partisan political materials on parish property.

Activities to Avoid
In order to avoid violating the political campaign activity prohibitions, parishes, other church organizations, and their representatives should remember these guidelines:

Do not endorse or oppose candidates, political parties, or groups of candidates, or take any action that reasonably could be construed as endorsement or opposition.
Do not make available the use of church facilities, assets, or members for partisan political purposes.
Do not authorize distribution of partisan political materials or biased voter education materials (those that support or oppose—or exhibit bias for or against—any candidate or party) on church property, in church publications, or at church activities. Authorization should be given only after materials have been approved by your diocesan attorney.
Do not invite or permit only selected candidates to address your members. Before inviting candidates, make sure such events are consistent with diocesan policy. If so, it is important that all candidates be invited.

http://www.usccb.org/about/general-counsel/political-activity-guidelines.cfm
 
That’s fine. If you couldn’t read it then you don’t have to.
We weren’t talking political parties. What was said was that the priest denied communion to Joe Biden because of his abortion views. Nothing political other than that was said. It was just a talk about how priests can actually deny communion. Thanks for the reply.
 
That’s not what the topic is about? I’m reading it and typed from a mobile phone and it seems fine to me. I don’t know how I can edit it anymore
 
If you tap Return twice on your mobile keyboard you can create a space between paragraphs and/or long sentences.

It sometimes takes a while to learn all the little tricks of mobile phones😊

The first line of defence is to pray for the gossipers, and not to join in, as I’m sure your avoid.

If someone tries to engage you, say gently and humbly, and even in a slightly hesitant way so you don’t come across as thinking you’re better than they are and thereby fail to achieve any good …
“I feel a little in comfortable about being critical of others. We all have faults”.

God bless you 🙂✝️
…or something like that

God bless you
 
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Gossips are not the most reliable sources of information…and that also goes for those who ‘help’ you by repeating gossip said about you. Most likely, they don’t like them, and just want company.

I would just try and ignore people who gossip, or repeat gossip about you. In fact, you’d do best not to talk about things that you do not want repeated, unless it is with very close friends or professional therapists. As to talking about you making faces, don’t these people have anything better to do?

Just go on, live your life, keep personal things personal, and show by example what kind of person you are. And God Bless!
 
Thank you! That’s exactly what I’m trying to do. I like being a private person because I’ve already had many cases in high school about gossiping friends and now I don’t have anything to do with them so my life is better than ever!
 
I agree here. Gossip isn’t good for a lot of reasons. In catholic school some of this best advice I’ve gotten was “work on yourself first”. So in your situation I would maybe try to pray for them, and politely refrain from engaging in the behavior. Were called to love one another, in all of our difficulties 🙂 Focus on the RCIA lessons and try to be the best catholic you can be. If we all did that we would be doing pretty good imho.👍
 
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I do need to think of myself first. I often find myself worrying about other people more.
Do y’all have any advice on how I can be slow to anger? That is one of my biggest flaws since I’ve grown up to be so defensive at all times because I have to stick up for myself.
 
Honestly I’ll pipe in just because no one else has responded yet. My first thought is the 7 deadly sins. Anger is one of those.The remedy or antidote to those is considered the 7 lively virtues. In the case of anger the lively virtue is patience. So working on patience may be of help. The basics like nit responding immediately, counting to ten with deep breaths, and taking a short break in difficult circumstances can go a long way.

You mentioned you grew up in an environment where you had to stick up for yourself. I can relate somewhat. It might be worth the effort to learn how to draw healthier boundaries if that’s an issue. If it’s a continuous problem into the future you could even check with a catholic counselor. I would try to find a faithful one though as some psychologists aren’t the most compatible with faith. Best regards, and btw welcome to RCIA. ! Try not to sweat the small stuff, your beginning a journey with Jesus… everything else is pretty minor by comparison imho.

Edit:these were just a few thoughts which came to mind, not personal to you but for anyone. Best regards.
 
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Perhaps it could help to be slower to get angry by looking at that not all situations are the same.
Iow, could dealing with gossipers at school have made you have a lower threshold for what seem like similar situations/people?

It’s hard to tell if these women actually were gossiping or were just talking about you in matter of fact way.
For good or bad,I think it is human nature that people talk about others with curiosity.
Especially women-we share information about other women and families situations etc and there can be fine line between sharing vs gossip.
I could be wrong but I think actual gossip though usually has a “vibe” to it where the gossiper/s doesn’t care if it hurts another’s feelings.

If they talk these topics again can you just act disinterested and non commital?
Even though it wasn’t technically about politics it seems they do hold strong political views if they would even bother discussing your (perceived) reaction so I would not engage with them on these topics.
 
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Breaking down our posts into separate paragraphs with extra space between each makes them easier to read and understand. Doing so is actually courteous.
 
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If they’re talking about you behind your back, I think you have a right to confront them. It does affect you, directly, and your companion indirectly, as they might start having second thoughts about joining the Church.

I would confront them not angrily, but just let them know you know they’ve been talking about you, and ask them if they think that’s the right thing to do. Suggest that, in the future, if they have anything to say about you, to say it directly to you. That’s reasonable and fair. If they respond with hostility, that’s on them.
 
Maybe you should find a new Bible study group…if you want to read and learn about the bible, it doesn’t sound as if this group is the best one to learn from\with.

It’s admirable that you’d want to learn, but, if you can’t ignore the gossip, it sounds as if you’d be better off in with people who aren’t determined to talk about you…and those who are making sure what they say, and who said what.

I repeat, learning the bible is a wonderful thing. But it doesn’t sound as if these people are learning anything. Like ‘Thou shall not bear false witness’???
 
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I think if you go out of your way to be nice to those people who talk about you that you will please God.
 
It’s possible to be nice to them without letting them walk all over you. As I’ve suggested above, kindly confront them and ask them if they think it’s right to talk about you behind your back. Actually, gossiping behind someone’s back is cowardly. Evidently, they haven’t enough integrity to face you with their comments. God doesn’t ask us to be doormats. You might be helping your neighbor by pointing this out to them.
 
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My bible study group is fine. The problem is those lady’s from RCIA.
For anyone concerned my boyfriend did let the teacher know and she will take care of it from there. I don’t think I really want to get involved because it did make me angry but I’m way better now and all I can do is pray for them.
 
I did think about doing that but my boyfriend let the teacher know and she took this matter very serious. Now that I’m more calm about it I would prefer to leave it up to her to let them know about their wrongdoing
 
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