I have two simple suggestions:
First pray the rosary daily. I can not over emphasise the love that your mother, Mary has for you.
Secondly, frequent sacramental confession. Even if the priest doesn’t give you the best advice, you get absolved from your sins, a chance to get them off your chest, and most importantly, the grace to start anew. If possible, before or after confession (or both) spend some time silently soaking up the love of Jesus before the blessed sacrament.
You need to acknowledge that you are helpless and you can’t do this on your own.
There are a bizillion things you can read, study, etc. But I think developing a relationship with Jesus and Mary is key. They will lead you where you want to go.
If you are already doing those things, then just keep at it. Life is hard but I know that eventually you will realize God’s infinte love in your life. Don’t Give Up!
May God Bless you and keep you safe.
