How do I handle a husband who won't work?

[CSP]

My husband has been unemployed for almost seven months. Several opportunities have come up, but he tells me he can’t pursue them because they are “in conflict with our faith.” We are now landing in a bad place financially, emotionally, and spiritually. I feel he is using the Church as an excuse not to get a job. His chosen career is going to have him interface with all issues – if he uses the Church as his reason why he can’t apply for any of these opportunties, he will never get a job.

I am angry. I want him employed. He is draining our resources with no regrets. When he senses he has landed on my last nerve, he starts talking about starting his own business. My husband is not an initiator. He does not have it in him to work the 12 to 18 hours it takes to run his own business. He does not have a warm personality that makes people want to throw business his way. He needs to be employed by someone else. I have told him these things but they fall of deaf ears. I am angry with him, I am angry with the Church, I am angry that I am working full time, managing the kids, the house, the bills, the need to find ways to cut the budget and save money. All this, while he watches EWTN TV all day and naps in between shows.

I need to know: At what cost to a family does a man have a right to turn down job, after job, after job because of the Church?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

Assuming what you have written here is accurate, your anger with your husband is understandable. Please do not allow it to grow into anger with the Church. The Church does not condone a husband and father deliberately neglecting his duty to do all that he can to support his family. If this is what your husband is doing, then you are correct that he is using his religious faith as an excuse for his lack of motivation and unwillingness to work.

I can only recommend to you that you seek marriage counseling, preferably from a Catholic counseling apostolate such as the Pastoral Solutions Institute. They may be able to either help you directly or to provide a referral to Catholic counseling services in your area. If your husband refuses to participate, do it without him. Since it sounds like your husband could also use some mentoring in how to be a good Catholic husband, father, and provider, you may also wish to consult with St. Joseph’s Covenant Keepers.