How do I love a God who will condemn most of my loved ones, and why?

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After a 20 year absence, I have been attending church again with my daughter who joined an RCIA program last September. Initially, I was motivated to attend only as a show of support, out of guilt for not raising her with a proper Catholic upbringing, however over the last few weeks this has truly become the joy of my week. Those feelings came to a halt Easter (yesterday) of all days, which I’m hoping is just temporary bump in the road, but right now my feelings are bleak. While reading about Fatima revelations, I became increasingly angry at God and it left me sleepless. I cannot understand how I am supposed to love a god with all my heart who will destroy most of my family, loved ones and most of mankind in general, and that he created us with these flaws knowing most of us would suffer eternal damnation. Clearly, our nature is weighted against us and it just seems cruel, meaningless and unnecessary.
 
What in the world were you reading? Can you please post the exact quotes about a God “who will destroy most of my family, loved ones and most mankind in general”? What book is this, by what author? God is Love and goodness. He “destroys” no one. He condemns no one to hell. Those who choose not to live in His love and accept His salvation condemn themselves.
 
mmzpop said:
I cannot understand how I am supposed to love a god with all my heart who will destroy most of my family, loved ones and most of mankind in general, and that he created us with these flaws knowing most of us would suffer eternal damnation.
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This is a really common problem people face when confronted with these revelations. i know it doesn’t do anything to alleviate the emotional toll the thought takes on you, but the reality is that a damned person does it to themselves.

God didn’t create us with flaws, He created our first parents with perfect natures. They rejected that nature and lost it. You can’t pass on something you don’t have, so we weren’t able to inherit it either. In order to remedy this, God sent His Son to die for us. God’s not just sitting back watching us walk headfirst into damnation, He’s actively calling everyone to repentance. It’s up to the individual to embrace that grace though, and it’s not God’s fault if they don’t.

Another problem stems from your understanding of God and time. God doesn’t see the future and know that a person will be damned. He see all of time simultaneously, and if God sees that a person is damned, it is only because they make the choices that resulted in damnation at the end of their life. It’s sort of a shift in how you look at things and how you contemplate God’s knowledge. It takes a while to get used to, and you can never real understand it because we’re limited to understanding things sequentially (w/time).

I hope this isn’t coming off as insulting, that’s not my intent. It just takes some time to get used to this kind of thinking. you said you’d just started attending recently, so I’m making a bit of an assumption.

I know this is a hard thing to be faced with, especially when you’re so new in your journey, but I encourage you to have hope. God will not stop trying to save a person until that very last moment of their life. He wants you saved more than you want you saved, and that’s true for every person on Earth.
Limoncello4021 said:
What in the world were you reading?
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The revelations of Fatima show great many people being damned, and the testimony of the saints throughout history seem to agree. We cannot know the number or percentage, but it doesn’t look good… Just look at how many people live their lives ignoring God altogether or even who flaunt His law directly. Even those of us who believe frequently fall into sin, many of use fall into mortal sin. If it’s that hard for a believer to avoid sinning gravely, how much harder must it be for those who pay God no mind…
 
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mmzpop said:
Clearly the ‘Narrow is the gate’ passage for one. And while Fatima doesn’t directly state it, one of the many problematic statements for from Our Lady of Medjugorje being an ‘approved apparition’ is that ‘Most souls go to Purgatory’ which seems to conflict with the message of Fatima, which of course is approved.
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Ive been seeing this a lot lately - it’s important to note that just because a private revelation is approved doesn’t mean you have to believe in it. It only means that there’s nothing in the revelation that contradicts church teaching. You don’t have to believe it is true. As you’ve seen, many private revelations contradict others. This, for me at least, is enough to make me skeptical of them.

As to the rest of your question ‘how do we accept that our loved ones might go to Hell’, the best answer I can give is to encourage you to have faith. Faith that God is perfect justice, and that, regardless of whatever the reality of Hell happens to be, that it will be far more just than anything we can imagine. It’s also important to keep Hell in the proper perspective. As CS Lewis said in The Problem of Pain,
“In all discussions of Hell we should keep steadily before our eyes the possible damnation, not of our enemies nor our friends (since both these disturb the reason) but of ourselves. This chapter is not about your wife or son, nor about Nero or Judas Iscariot; it is about you and me.”
 
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mmzpop said:
While reading about Fatima revelations,
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With all due respect, if Fatima revelations have this kind of effect on you, please don’t read them.
Catholics aren’t required to read or believe in private revelations.
As a lifelong (since childhood) devotee of Our Lady of Fatima, I also never got the message from her revelations that God was out to get us or our loved ones. More like the opposite, he wants to save as many of us as he possibly can. Our Lady was showing us how we could not only save ourselves, but save many others by praying for them.
But at this point if you’re just back after 20 years I would suggest concentrating on the things you must know and believe to be a Catholic, such as the Gospels.
I became increasingly angry at God and it left me sleepless.
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Sounds to me like Satan doesn’t like that you went back to the Church and is trying his best to throw everything he can at you to get you to leave again. Don’t fall for it.
I cannot understand how I am supposed to love a god with all my heart who will destroy most of my family, loved ones and most of mankind in general, and that he created us with these flaws knowing most of us would suffer eternal damnation.
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You have no idea where your family or loved ones will end up. It’s highly likely they will end up saved along with yourself, especially if you pray for them. We also don’t know for sure if God will destroy “most of mankind”. Often private revelations are warnings of things that will happen if we don’t shape up and change our ways, or pray more, or whatever. They are not predictions of what’s absolutely definitely going to happen.
Clearly, our nature is weighted against us and it just seems cruel, meaningless and unnecessary.
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“Our nature” hasn’t stopped thousands of saints (who all have the same “nature” as any other human) from becoming close to God. It’s really not that hard to do if you just put one foot in front of the other and keep making steps towards God. However, if you give up and say you can’t possibly overcome your sinful nature, then you’ve lost the race without even taking a step on the track.

Put the Fatima book down, read the Gospels, it’s Eastertime.
God loves you and your family and is not looking to send you, them, or the rest of us all to Hell, that’s poppycock.
Take it from one who loves Our Lady of Fatima very much.
 
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Well, I struggled with what you struggled with when I first.came to accept there is a Hell and there is a Devil. I wasn’t raised as a Catholic with Fire and Brimstone as other denominations are and maybe even some other Catholics.

My process of recovery was to grieve for the sinner who does not repent. I also eliminated from my life all music and media that came from someone who could be condemned. Again, I myself cannot be certain if I am saved, but regardless I am grateful to God to have this opportunity of life and to live peacefully with his message.

But, again, just from my studies and more importantly from my own life experience I know there is a God and Jesus Christ is his Son. I also know that God’s wisdom is greater than my own. Again, I’m more the playful, happy go lucky type who wants to see the good in all people. But realistically there are a lot of people in the world who choose evil.

Now, that I am older I begin to understand the Evangelical even more who is keenly aware of the stakes, gravity and seriousness in life. This is it, this life and it is a battleground for souls. Job really does respond to this. As a Christian you will encounter hate and persecution for your beliefs. You will feel and potentially be in the minority. But it has always been this way.

So, what I recommend for you is to pray the rosary ask for discernment, grieve for the sinner. Read Paul’s Thessalonians and Colossians. You may argue with God about his decisions but don’t rebel against Him for the sake of sinners who would not do the same for you. Greater appreciate Evil and the disorder of it.

But in the end know all that who knock on God’s door with persistence and humility and a willingness to change receive an answer. Regardless of their background or ability or their circumstance. I tend to believe in Fatima because the message came at the right time. It came right before a time of outright Hedonism, Sexual Liberation, and a world that wants to engage in wrong but believe in Universal Salvation. So, heed the warning and be a Pilgrim.
 
Our Lady of Medjugorje is an unapproved apparition.
Jesus Himself spoke about the “narrow gate,” so I’m still not seeing the issue you raise. Please again provide the name of the book, author, and exact quotes. If what you are reading bothers you, it may well be the author’s opinion of what occurred at Fatima. The Church has ruled that what Our Lady actually stated is compatible with what the Church teaches.
 
Can’t say for sure…

But I would take that to mean that most of the souls who end up in Heaven, go to Purgatory first.
 
Limoncello4021 said:
If what you are reading bothers you, it may well be the author’s opinion of what occurred at Fatima. The Church has ruled that what Our Lady actually stated is compatible with what the Church teaches.
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This is a good point. There are dozens of erroneous and misleading books out there on Fatima, and organizations who do nothing but churn them out.
Our Lady actually said very, very little at Fatima. Much of what’s in these books is some author’s opinion, and in some cases the authors are not writing with Church approval.
 
mmzpop said:
I cannot understand how I am supposed to love a god with all my heart who will destroy most of my family, loved ones and most of mankind in general, and that he created us with these flaws knowing most of us would suffer eternal damnation
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How on earth do you think you know the eternal fate of your family members, much less “mankind in general?” You don’t know the state of their souls right this minute, much less what it will be at the moment of death.
 
ProdglArchitect said:
Could you cite some examples, because I honestly don’t think this is accurate?
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The famous example is that many approved private revelations have saints seeing the Crucifixion of Jesus but they all remember details of it differently, like how Jesus was put on the cross, was it with ropes, or chains, or just people pulling his limbs, stuff like that. Obviously there can’t be more than one way Jesus was put on the cross. This is not important if one is focusing on the message of the approved private revelation and that it was private for the people receiving it. It’s only important if you have some belief that private revelations are going to show us once and for all the exact way Jesus was put on the cross and they all have to agree with each other, which is not the right way to approach private revelations.
 
Medjugori isn’t an approved private revelation. I’m talking about within approved revelations.
Tis_Bearself said:
It’s only important if you have some belief that private revelations are going to show us once and for all the exact way Jesus was put on the cross and they all have to agree with each other, which is not the right way to approach private revelations.
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So, the same sort of thing where private revelations of Hell describe Hell differently in terms of it’s “physical” aspects, while all still relating the same core reality.
 
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mmzpop said:
he created us with these flaws knowing most of us would suffer eternal damnation
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I don’t think he “created us with these flaws”, those flaws (tendency to sin) are due to fall of Adam.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
This is a good point. There are dozens of erroneous and misleading books out there on Fatima, and organizations who do nothing but churn them out.
Our Lady actually said very, very little at Fatima. Much of what’s in these books is some author’s opinion, and in some cases the authors are not writing with Church approval.
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Perhaps this is where my confusion comes from. I’ve read many things about many apparitions that seem contradictory - perhaps those were added after the fact.
 
Often they are. Also, you need to make sure that the apparition you’re reading about is really approved. As others said, Medjugorje apparitions are not approved, although the Vatican has allowed people to go there and pray and go to confession, etc.

As for Fatima, here’s a good article showing exactly what our Lady said, in context, and nothing more.
There’s nothing in it about God sending most of humanity to Hell. She did say that many souls go to Hell because they don’t have anyone to pray for them. The message is that we should pray and do penance to help save sinners. It’s not a new message as many saints including St. Paul and St. John Vianney said the same thing. It’s just a reminder of what we should be doing.

 
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But again all I want to leave you with is that while life is unfair, God is fair. All who put a serious effort and call upon God will be heard I know it. The fact people don’t is not God’s fault, it speaks more of their need and desire to sin. Again, the compassionate Athest who does good for his fellow man is a myth. That is their narrative, and that narrative gives way and paves the way for unbelief in itself most common form which is sin. So, of course, the first atheist who crafted the ethical atheist or humanist atheist meme would likely be condemned because his actions gave way for a justification for sin in the future generation.
 
mmzpop said:
After a 20 year absence, I have been attending church again with my daughter who joined an RCIA program last September. Initially, I was motivated to attend only as a show of support, out of guilt for not raising her with a proper Catholic upbringing, however over the last few weeks this has truly become the joy of my week. Those feelings came to a halt Easter (yesterday) of all days, which I’m hoping is just temporary bump in the road, but right now my feelings are bleak. While reading about Fatima revelations, I became increasingly angry at God and it left me sleepless. I cannot understand how I am supposed to love a god with all my heart who will destroy most of my family, loved ones and most of mankind in general, and that he created us with these flaws knowing most of us would suffer eternal damnation. Clearly, our nature is weighted against us and it just seems cruel, meaningless and unnecessary.
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The condemnation is self-condemnation because to hate God means no Beatific Vision. Why would a person that hates God want to see God? One loves God because of goodness. Only through free will can one be established in charity and have the Beatific Vision.
 
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