How do I not judge people?

  • Thread starter Thread starter livingoutloud
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
L

livingoutloud

Guest
I don’t understand how I’m not supposed to judge people. If I see my friend do drugs, should I judge him to be a druggy? Is not judging just another way of saying “love everyone.” I kind of think people who are in bad shape morally need even more love from us, but isn’t that judging them to give them more compassion than another guy? Confusing, huh.
 
livingoutloud said:
I don’t understand how I’m not supposed to judge people. If I see my friend do drugs, should I judge him to be a druggy? Is not judging just another way of saying “love everyone.” I kind of think people who are in bad shape morally need even more love from us, but isn’t that judging them to give them more compassion than another guy? Confusing, huh.
Click to expand...
this reminds me of something Mother Angelica said in her program—being judgemental does NOT mean that you do not recognize sin. you have to have judgement to STAY away from sin too. Being judgemental means putting yourself in the place of God and discerning whether someone is BAD or GOOD. Only God know the state of a person’s soul. Recognizing that someone is committing a sin is not being judgemental because you are only seeing what they are doing. God knows reasons and culpability.
 
livingoutloud said:
I kind of think people who are in bad shape morally need even more love from us, but isn’t that judging them to give them more compassion than another guy? Confusing, huh.
Click to expand...
yes, you are using your discernment (judgement) in order to recognize that the person needs your help or compassion. That is a GOOD judgement.
 
livingoutloud said:
I don’t understand how I’m not supposed to judge people. If I see my friend do drugs, should I judge him to be a druggy? Is not judging just another way of saying “love everyone.” I kind of think people who are in bad shape morally need even more love from us, but isn’t that judging them to give them more compassion than another guy? Confusing, huh.
Click to expand...
livingoutloud,

Of course you must make judgments about behaviors. In fact, fraternal correction of sinners is a spiritual work of mercy. Therefore, yes, you can look at actions, evaluate them against the objective criteria of morality, and form conclusions about rightness and wrongness. Yes, you should counsel such a person (Matthew 18:15-17)

The only thing we may not judge is the state of their souls (Matthew 7:1-5). We can judge rightness or wrongness, we cannot judge sinfulness-- only God knows whether a person has full knowledge and free will. We cannot judge their souls or their relationship with God.

We absolutely are called to fraternal correction, through the love of Christ. God wants all men to come to salvation and the Truth (1 Timothy 2:3-4).
 
LISA_Annette said:
Gosh, you put it so to the point—I had to put down so many words to get your point across:o 🙂
Click to expand...
Nah, you did good, too. I’m actually looking for an article that explains some of the ins and outs of it.

It’s definitely an art form.
 
I think what they mean in the Bible is to judge them thinking they will go to hell or to stop being friends or hate someone because of their flaws.
 
LISA_Annette said:
yes, you are using your discernment (judgement) in order to recognize that the person needs your help or compassion. That is a GOOD judgement.
Click to expand...
Good point! 👍

To the original post, not confusing at all.

We heard and will always continue to hear as Christians that we’re “judgemental”, as if using judgement is a bad thing. It can be bad, if one judges in manner to elevate themself or their behavior over another.

Using the example of a friend who does drugs, it’s not judgmental to say he or she is a drug user (or addict, if that applies). It’s a statement of fact. And, it’s not judgemental to say that abusing drugs is bad behavior, because no good can come from it, only bad.

Now some would say that’s judgmental, but it’s not. Objectively, abusing drugs is bad. It’s rather making a discerning statement i.e. that using your judgement weighing the good or bad of drug abuse, you discern it to be bad.

Judging would be to say that that person who abuses drugs is bad; not discerning the behavior as bad, but the person. One can only judge when one has authority over another, but one can discern any sort of behavior.

Subtle difference, perhaps, but significant nontheless.
 
livingoutloud:

Being an avid church goer and obligated centers me out in my environment of non church goers.

If I note someone doing wrong or right I will state it. Immediatley I’m reminded not to “judge”. This is nonsense of course. (Ironically, by their standard a positive opinion is also judging but this is always missed by the judge police. :rolleyes: )

In my view being judgemental calls for a lot more work and the result must lead to an impact of some sort. Fraternal correction is quite another thing. If I am in a one on one with someone I am criticizing I am still correcting. In order to make a fraternal correction I would have needed to make a judgement call of some kind.

You can correct your friend in private, never in public. Choosing private or public is almost always a sign of your intent. Public is a slanderous intent. And never should the subject be brought up with someone else. You can recommend someone else.

Also if guilt is also yours, forget it, let someone else handle it.

AndyF
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top