How do I rejoin the Catholic faith?

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auttiesvet

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I was raised Catholic but became an Episcopalian after I got divorced and remarried. I was received in the Episcopal Church. As I’ve gotten older I realize that the Catholic church is my home and I want to return. I am in the process of going through an annulment of my first marriage which only lasted two years. Right now I don’t even know if the Catholic Church considers me “Catholic” or not. I don’t know what I have to do to become Catholic again since I’ve already been confirmed as a Catholic, besides (hopefully) get my annulment, have my marriage convalidated, and go to confession. My husband is Protestant but is willing to go to RCIA and considering conversion since his values are consistent with Catholocism. Right now I continue to go to Episcopal services, which is what my local parish priest has advised while I wait. I’ve tried to talk to an apologist but have not had any success in having my phone calls returned. It’s unsettling, not knowing how to “identify” myself. I feel like I’m in Limbo. Is anyone familiar with this process?
 
  1. Your Catholic right now by virtue of your Catholic baptism and confirmation.
  2. Go to confession ASAP
  3. I don’t see why you can’t go to Mass starting this weekend, as long as you don’t receive the Host.
I was in a similar situation. I was baptized Catholic, but wasn’t raised in the Church. When I wanted to ‘come home’ I made confession, started going to Mass weekly (not to do so is a mortal sin) and waited to receive the Eucharist until my marriage was convalidated. I’ve heard on Cath. Answers Live that a person in your situation could even start receiving Eucharist prior to the annulment/ convalidation process is over by confessing and ceasing to have the ‘marital embrace’ (sometimes called living as brother and sister) until after the convalidation.
 
Well, a few things to keep in mind.

For starters, as a result of your Catholic Baptism, you will always be considered Catholic by the Church.

In theory, the only things that should be required are to have your annulment granted (and to abstain from sexual relations until it is granted), attend confession to confess willfully disregarding your obligation to attend mass and receive the Eucharist at least once a year, and start attending mass regularly again.

What have you been wanting to speak to an apologist about?
 
The church considers you a fallen away Catholic, or something along those lines. (I’m sure there is a correct term for it but I can’t remember at this moment).

You are right to start the annulment process and it is great that your husband is willing to convert. However, since you have decided to do this, start going to mass now. (Even though you cannot take Communion at this stage). There is no reason for you to wait since you know where you stand in terms of your decision and belief. To do otherwise is to commit a sin. I’m sure your episcopal priest means well but I suspect he doesn’t understand how things work over here, so his advice is perhaps not what you should be listening to.
 
You’re a Catholic now, as you always have been. You are correct about the three things that you have to do. While the Church is investigating your first marriage, you must operate under the assumption that your first marriage is valid; therefore, as the other posters, you should abstain from marital relations with your current husband until a decree of nullity is granted.

Not sure why your pastor would advise you to continue attending the Episcopal services, since as a Catholic you have an obligation to attend Mass on Sundays and holy days.
 
As the others have said, you are a baptized Catholic. Your baptism left an indelible mark upon your soul, you cannot remove it.

You can start going to Mass right now, but you cannot receive Holy Communion because technically, you are living in sin and are not divorced from your first husband. You are not married to your 2nd husband since your first marriage has not been annulled. So Holy Communion is out because you cannot confess and be absolved from an ongoing sin. But you CAN go to Mass.

I am glad you are coming home. Please be patient in the process.
 
PietroPaolo said:
  1. Your Catholic right now by virtue of your Catholic baptism and confirmation.
  2. Go to confession ASAP
Click to expand...
She cannot receive any of the sacraments until her marriage situation is straightened out.
  1. I don’t see why you can’t go to Mass starting this weekend, as long as you don’t receive the Host.
Click to expand...
I was in a similar situation. I was baptized Catholic, but wasn’t raised in the Church. When I wanted to ‘come home’ I made confession, started going to Mass weekly (not to do so is a mortal sin) and waited to receive the Eucharist until my marriage was convalidated. I’ve heard on Cath. Answers Live that a person in your situation could even start receiving Eucharist prior to the annulment/ convalidation process is over by confessing and ceasing to have the ‘marital embrace’ (sometimes called living as brother and sister) until after the convalidation.
Click to expand...
Some priests will not allow the public receiving of the Eucharist even if the two are loving as brother and sister because of the potential for scandal.
 
Auttiesvet,
I think you should ask the priest why he thinks you should continue at the Episcopal church until your situation can be regularized. I would ask him about that.

I am edified by those who do not receive the Eucharist. I may not know why they are not receiving–it may simply be because they ate something on the way to Mass!–, but seeing them living by the rules is heartening.
 
I don’t know for sure, but I kind of think that my priest suggested I continue to participate in my Episcopal church possibly for several reasons. First, what happens if my annulment is not granted, even though I believe it will be? I just began the process so it will be at least 18 months before I know. I could not rejoin the Catholic church if that happens since I’m already remarried, as long as my first husband is living. Secondly, there is a pretty close relationship between my Episcopal parish and the Catholic parish, and this Episcopal parish is quite conservative and the priests all know each other. I understand it’s not really valid and all of that but I do think that’s part of it. I think he thinks it’s better that I’m active there for the time being instead of an “outcast” in the Catholic Church. I don’t know for sure. And my husband and I are both members there. If I leave and then don’t get the annulment then where do I go? But I guess I’ll ask instead of just making assumptions.
 
Also, my priest has said that he knows that I am a “Catholic” in my heart. And I believe he thinks that is what is most important at this time. The Episcopal church is different than many protestant churches, especially conservative Episcopal churches, and that is why many people call it “Catholic lite”.So while I’m waiting on my annulment, I’m trying to live my life as a Catholic…going to church each Sunday, doing some sort of penance on Fridays, that sort of thing. I go to Catholic church some Sundays because of the limited services when sometimes the times don’t work. Obviously I don’t go to Communion. So that’s what I’m doing for now. It’s just hard to engage in my congregation knowing that I’m planning to leave.
 
I find this whole line of reasoning bizarre, but I don’t have the energy to go to the mattresses on this issue tonight. I will see if anybody else does.
 
Well, Auttiesvet, I can see what your priest is saying, but to be honest… he seems to be assuming that you would want to return to the Episcopal church if your first marriage were found to be valid. But you would not have to, after all. Firstly, you could appeal the negative decision to Rome, and whatever were to happen, you could continue at the Catholic Church without receiving the sacraments. Staying at the Episcopal Church or returning if the annullment were denied wouldn’t really do you any good, whereas attending the Catholic Church would at least show your faith in the Church established by Christ, while your abstaining would show your obedience and trust in the Church.

Personally, I would go to the Catholic church and if anyone happened to ask why you do not receive the sacraments, tell them you are in the process of seeking an annullment. Just go to Mass without receiving, and other than that, pray like a Catholic, etc. You could even make a conditional Act of Communion, just tell Christ you want Him to come into your heart since you cannot receive Him in the sacrament, but only if He thinks it’s all right.

But check with the priest, not that he can keep you out, but he might have some insight since he is closer to your situation. Do tell him how you feel.
 
Thank you for your response. It is becoming clearer now what to do. I really do feel pretty positive about my annulment, as I do feel that my first marriage was invalid due to my personal situation at the time. I was young but that wasn’t why. I was then married again for nearly twenty years to the father of my children and divorced again. (Fortunately, that doesn’t “count” as he would contest it and it would be very messy.) I will certainly appeal if I didn’t succeed in stating my case properly. I think that my husband would need to start RCIA in the fall of 2014, so he would need to be going to Catholic mass by then anyway. I’m so happy that he is supportive. So far this calendar year, I think I’ll remain a member of my current congregation, since I’ve already made a financial pledge. And attend Catholic mass at times when Sunday at 8 or 9;30 doesn’t work. And then after the first of the year, rather than make a new pledge, make the clean break and let my congregation know that I’m leaving. I feel this is the right way to do this, rather than just “jumping ship”. I’ve been a practicing Episcopalian for 31 years now, and at this particular church since 2005. I had my wedding there in 2007. I am sad about leaving but want to return “home”.

As they say, better late than never. I just pray, seriously, that my husband (who is diabetic and almost 65) and I (seven years younger) stay alive and healthy enough for all of this to happen. At our age, we see things happen to our friends, and there is no way to speed any of this up.
 
auttiesvet said:
I was then married again for nearly twenty years to the father of my children and divorced again. (Fortunately, that doesn’t “count” as he would contest it and it would be very messy.)
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All prior marriages for both of you will need to be investigated by the tribunal.
 
That may be true, but both of us were baptised Catholics and were married outside of the Catholic church so should be a “lack of form” case. I don’t think that would be a problem.
 
=auttiesvet;10758066]I was raised Catholic but became an Episcopalian after I got divorced and remarried. I was received in the Episcopal Church. As I’ve gotten older I realize that the Catholic church is my home and I want to return. I am in the process of going through an annulment of my first marriage which only lasted two years. Right now I don’t even know if the Catholic Church considers me “Catholic” or not. I don’t know what I have to do to become Catholic again since I’ve already been confirmed as a Catholic, besides (hopefully) get my annulment, have my marriage convalidated, and go to confession. My husband is Protestant but is willing to go to RCIA and considering conversion since his values are consistent with Catholocism. Right now I continue to go to Episcopal services, which is what my local parish priest has advised while I wait. I’ve tried to talk to an apologist but have not had any success in having my phone calls returned. It’s unsettling, not knowing how to “identify” myself. I feel like I’m in Limbo. Is anyone familiar with this process?
Click to expand...
Both of you should contact the priest at your local parish and spesak with him one on one. There are MANY issues here. This would be the simplist and most direct approach.🙂

Be very careful with the advice on the FORUM. These matter can and do get complicated. Pray much.

Do this ASAP,

Your in my prayers,

pat/PJM
 
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