How do I respond?

[Jart]

I am 17 just finishing highschool. The past year I have really grown in my faith and trying my best to put God as my #1 priority by doing what He would want me to do. Even if my friends and family don’t do it. This is where my question comes from. I don’t know any Catholics who actually understand their faith! I can’t say I know everything about the Catholic church I mean I learn something new everyday. Understanding the eucharist and knowing you should go to confession when a mortal sin is commited is basic knowledge for a Catholic. My brothers do not understand this! (Most of my family doesn’t) My brother hasn’t went to Church in years… and I mean like 6 years. He goes to my nefues First Holy Communion and gets the eucharist. This is none of my business but I’m saying that I am around Catholics who do not understand their faith. I try and tell them about mortal sin, confession and the eucharist but I guess since I’m 17 I don’t know what I’m talking about. Or maybe it’s because they don’t want to believe it. I don’t have a friend who is a practicing Catholic. Sometimes they ridicule it and that really pisses me off. Should I keep my distance from them? What could I do about my family? It depresses me they call themselves Catholics and can’t tell what a mortal sin is. If it wasn’t for me going to Church every Sunday I don’t think my parents would. I’m going to College in a few months and leaving the house. Is there NOTHING I can do? :\

Thanks,
Joey

 

[kellie]

Hi Joey,

First, pray for them. Only God can change their view.

It is a sad fact of life that many Catholics are what we call “Cafeteria Catholics”. That is, they pick and choose the parts of our Faith they like, and adhere to those practices, and forget the rest.

Many, many Catholics will receive Communion, without considering whether they are in a state of grace or not.

Also, many Catholics are poorly catechised. They don’t follow the rules simply because they don’t know the rules.

You sound like a very intelligent young man, and I wish you all the best at college, and moving out. Don’t chastise your family too much, just gently tell them all the teachings, and what you do to be Christ like. And pray.

 

[puzzleannie]

I am? What could I do about my family? It depresses me they call themselves Catholics and can’t tell what a mortal sin is. If it wasn’t for me going to Church every Sunday I don’t think my parents would. I’m going to College in a few months and leaving the house. Is there NOTHING I can do? :\

Thanks,
Joey

at this point no there is not much you can do for other Catholics who have rejected their faith. They are responsible for their actions, you are not. Your number one concern now is growing in knowledge and practice of your own faith, and attention to your own spiritual progress, especially in strengthening the virtues. Think of the resistance you get from friends and relatives as aids in this exercise, like weights offer resistance to strengthen muscles. avoid dangers common to beginners in the spiritual life, such as being judgemental of others, comparing your progress to theirs, confusing outward practices with internal condition of your soul, failures in charity toward others, neglect of temporal and spiritual duties. When you get to college seek out a good spiritual director at your campus ministry or a nearby parish.

The best guide I ever saw for dealing with family members is Search and Rescue by Patrick Madrid.

 

[leonie]

hi Joey, don’t be discouraged.

Patrick Madrid has a book called *Search and Rescue *with lots of helpful ideas for evangelizing one’s family.

The Cure of Ars changed a whole town by fasting and prayer–you may be the Cure of Ars for your family. Start fasting!

 

[Kevin42]

Is there NOTHING I can do?

You need to be as patient with others as you would hope that Jesus would be with you. Furthermore, you need to live your life as He did. Do not flaunt your faith, but let your life be a silent example of following Christ, and glorifying God. If you do this right, they will notice it, and they may take interest and start to inquire…giving you the opportunity to share your faith **when they are ready to listen **.

Also remember, after a certain point, it can be more harmful for you to continue to verbally argue the faith, or certain parts of it. There’s no point in arguing with someone who already has their mind made up. For example, confession. Alot of people have a problem with it, and when you verbally argue, they just get angry and this drives them away further. What does work though (slowly) is just to go by yourself, and let them see how it is making you a better person. Eventually, they might start consider going.

Good luck. Remember, love and patience are vital! Peace be with you!

 

[Jart]

Thanks for the replies everyone! I’ll be sure to check out the book Search and Rescue to see what I can do. I have to say though I don’t argue with them about what is right and wrong. I don’t know if it would be OK for me to tell them that they are wrong and explain to them the truth. I guess I don’t have an obligation to do so. That would lead to an argument I suppose. I choose not to. At this point it seems prayer is the only thing I can do. Also the most powerful. I’ll do what you guys are telling me and set an example. Prayer is the only thing that would make that work because… I know how my family operates. I know I sounded a little judgemental about my brother in my first post but I had to give an example for everyone would understand what I meant. I try very hard not to judge them but I can’t help to know when they do wrong. I just want them to get to heaven… Not saying they wont but living your faith 100% will have a better chance to get you there. Anyway yes, prayer and fasting sounds about the only thing I can do right now. I know I can’t force them but ignorance is bliss I guess at this point?

 

[leonie]

Admonishing the sinner is a work of mercy.

So, it’s a good thing to gently tell them they are on the wrong road.

But, don’t expect any changes. My experiences have not been positive on this particular work of mercy.