How do we avoid offending people with our wedding?

[kbradford]

My boyfriend and and I have been been talking about getting married. My family are very strong Catholics, while my boyfriend’s family is more non-denominational. We both agree that since he is a veteran that having the wedding at the local VFW on a beautiful lake would be a middle point for both sides. That way nobody is offended.

Is it permissible to have a Catholic priest officiate the ceremony and have it recognized in the Church? My mother is raising a fit that it is not allowed and that it is a sin for any Catholic to witness another Catholic married outside the Church. Is this correct? I really am trying to be neutral and any answers would prove to be a tremendous help!

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

My boyfriend and and I have been been talking about getting married. My family are very strong Catholics, while my boyfriend’s family is more non-denominational. We both agree that since he is a veteran that having the wedding at the local VFW on a beautiful lake would be a middle point for both sides. That way nobody is offended.

Except God, who might wonder why two Christians chose not to come to his house for their wedding.

I’m being somewhat facetious here, but I do so because I am trying to point out to you that your concern should be faithfulness to God and not scrupulosity over who among your guests might be “offended.” Guests either attend a wedding or they don’t; it is not their business to be offended by the religious ceremony by which the couple chooses to be married.

kbradford:

Is it permissible to have a Catholic priest officiate the ceremony and have it recognized in the Church? My mother is raising a fit that it is not allowed and that it is a sin for any Catholic to witness another Catholic married outside the Church. Is this correct? I really am trying to be neutral and any answers would prove to be a tremendous help!

If your boyfriend is not Catholic, you will need a dispensation from your bishop to marry a non-Catholic. If you plan to marry in a non-Catholic ceremony, you will need a second dispensation for that. Please be aware that if you are both baptized Christians then a Catholic bishop can but is unlikely to give permission for you to be married outside a church. That’s because Christians are supposed to place more importance on having their wedding in a place specially consecrated for the worship of God than on placating their guests.

As for your mother, if you get the necessary dispensations from your bishop, you can assure her that your wedding will be valid (and sacramental if you and your husband-to-be are baptized).