How do we choose the "right" godparents?

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mommi2four

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just a topic that i wanted to dicuss because I noticed something when I had to get a copy of my son’s baptism certificate for his CCD class. What I noticed was I no longer communicate with his godparents. So I ponder some more and found something sad but true.

For my second daugther, her godmother is a non-practicing catholic and her godfather left the faith.

For my third daugther, her godmother is bitter toward God because of certain issues in her life and her godfather seems to not know Christ.

I’ve learned my lesson: for my baby

I’ve picked my godsister (my dad’s god child) to become a godparent, because of her strength and her faith in God. I know this how ?We serve as EM together and belong to the same youth group mentoring teen going through confirmation.

I also picked another person, who is another youth leader at our church. He is my best friend’s big brother. We aren’t that close but I know he has a relationship with God and has alot of insights about the faith.

anybody else encoutered this? picking god parents then over time finding out they may have been the wrong choice. Just wanted opinions, comments, suggestion for other parents trying to fing the “right” godparents. Does it even matter at all? Please ponder with me.
 
although I don’t have any children yet I’ve also worried about who will be their godparents. Very few people in my family are Catholic, much less practicing, and we don’t know many other faithful Catholics well enough to ask them to be godparents. My own godparents, friends of my parents, I don’t see very often and they do not appear to be practicing (but then neither are my parents). I wish I had had godparents to look up to while growing up, for role models, since I didn’t have it in my immediate family. I would like the same for my future children. So yes it is important who you pick - pick people who are faithful not just those who are friends or family. You’re lucky to have found the god-sister and young man from church. Do try to stay in touch with them after the baptism so your child has a relationship with them. Although my GP’s aren’t religious, I still enjoyed having a relationship with them while growing up - they were like another aunt and uncle and their son was like a cousin. Good luck!
 
Oh this is a great one and next to impossible! I have four as well. I started off with No.1 with practising Catholics and friends. We had loads of agro from the family because we didn’t pick either of my wifes sisters, but niether of them practice so we wondered why they would even want to be responsible for the religious upbringing of our child!!! The friends we choose for all the right reasons now pay little or no attention really to Will. Mikey, my second, got my best friend (he’s Anglican- call themselves Anglo-Catholic, practising and a top bloke) and my wifes first cousin who is also practising Catholic- that worked out OK! He sees them regularly and Will feels he got a raw deal!
Third was my daughter. She really is a lttle angel. She got my Sister in law- who has made huge moves towards the children and my family in general (and will come back to the church at some point I’m sure) and my Brother- who does practice, but had three children before he bothered marrying his wife.
Fourth was John-Joe. He got my friend a Redemptrist Priest and my Brother’s sister.
I think I have learnt that having people who love them and will stay around is often more important than the prospective God Parents necessarily attending mass every Sunday, although if you can have that too- FANTASTIC!
 
For our son, we chose my sister and dh’s brother. Though I was not in favor of dh’s brother since he has 3 son’s of his own and I do not care for the way he is raising his kids or his values.

I am very glad my sister is ds’s Godmother. She spends a lot of time with him. And is the only person I trust him with. When I was in the hospital this summer she is the one who looked after him. She has thought him the short version of the rosary (Sacred Heart), which he loves saying and many prayers.
 
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Gwyn:
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I am very glad my sister is ds’s Godmother. She spends a lot of time with him. And is the only person I trust him with. When I was in the hospital this summer she is the one who looked after him. She has thought him the short version of the rosary (Sacred Heart), which he loves saying and many prayers.
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you son is a very lucky boy to have such a good godmother 😃
 
mommi2four [/QUOTE said:
I would LOVE to have God parents for my children, but to tell you the truth, we don’t know ONE couple whom we would pick, who would rear our kids in the Lord if we died. Only My parents, in their 80-'s.
Yikes!!!
A sad fact.

I think the whole point of God-parents is someone who would train up your children the way you would. You’re most lucky if you think of anyone.

WOW guess this reason alone is reason enough to join some church couples group and get to know some folks. Trouble is–I’m an about to be Catholic—hubby is nothing–but occasionally attends a Presbyterian Church.
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I will admit that we ended up choosing family for our new baby’s godparents, but not as immediate of family as we might have. My two sisters are on opposite coasts, and my brother is still here in our hometown and will probably not settle down too far away. They’re all good Catholics, but having been godparents to a cousin’s child only to have them move several states away, I know how hard it is to really be part of the child’s life if you’re far away. So the godmother wound up being one of my aunts who is really having a revival of her faith since our priest was so good to her in the days before and after her father’s death earlier this year.

So I guess my advice is partially in agreement with going beyond immediate friends and family, although I recognize that sometimes it’s nice to honor family members–just be careful: of my mom’s three siblings (all of whom are godparents to one or more of us kids), none are practicing Catholics anymore. Also give some thought to relative permanence–I really would prefer to live closer to our goddaughter and be a bigger part of her life.

God Bless,
Bret
 
Hi,

We are experiencing the same problem right now. We chose someone who we thought at the time to be very devout and faithful, (She is the DRE of our church, her husband a convert), and now she treats us like we are just “casual business aquaintances”.
She recently had her 4th baby, and did not tell us of her pregnancy, nor did she call after she delivered, and we were not invited to the baptism. She told us her life was no ones business. I know they are struggling with church teaching right now because this last pregnancy was very unexpected. She is very young (27), and has a lot on her plate, so we needed to tak that into consideration when we saw the major attitude shift. She has chosen to hang around a different group of people over the past year, and her attitude toward us has changed dramatically. We are very devout in our faith (We have 10 children!), and our faith life is the total focus of our lives each day. It is sad to lose a friendship, but lives and people change, and that is something we needed to realize. We did speak with our Priest, and got his blessing to choose Godparents who we felt were better suited to the job.
Over the past couple of years, my husband’s brother married a lovely Catholic lady, and he himself converted. (prior to this no one on either side of the family was Catholic). God brings us these crosses for many reasons. We are glad we have family who can step in and take over when things fall by the wayside. We have not told the previous Godparents of our change, nor do we intend to unless she asks. We pray for them daily and will continue to do so.
I’m glad we are not the only ones who have dealt with this issue.

God Bless!!

Abby Rose
 
Well my story is about like yours.

My first child-her GF is still a devote Catholic, married and uses NFP. She doesn’t see him at all since he is friend of ours and lives far away. Her GM was a Catholic and member of our family.

My second child-GF and GM are married and very catholic. They also use NFP. She doesn’t know them. They are friends of ours and they live far away.

My third child’s GM and GF are his Grandparents. Both Catholic.

My fourth child-GF and GM are married and used to be Catholic.

I seemed to have a better chance with my good friends from college. They are awesome friends and would answer the call if they had to.

I guess it’s the luck of the draw. You can’t see into the future. Bring up them up with a strong faith, which is your primary responsibility, and if you happen to pass away give them strict orders to bring them up in the faith as I have. 😃

Peace,
Jen
 
no matter what happens after baptism, you cannot canonically change your child’s godparents, they are the ones who witnessed the baptism, and so it is recorded in the parish records and cannot be changed. what you can do when godparents let you down is find new adults, in or out of the family who support you and your children. See catholicexchange.com for Grace McKinnon’s answer yesterday or today on When Godparents Fail.

You can choose family, who will have left the church, moved in with punk rocker, become gay activists, or join a hare krishna commune by the time your child is a teen. Or you can choose neighbors, whom you will lose contact with when one or both of you moves away. You can choose friends, who may fade when you change jobs, schools, or lifestyle. there are no guarantees. do your best and leave it in God’s hands, and surround your family with others who believe as you do and model Christian living. This place is your parish, and if it does not describe your parish, move. the Godparents represent the whole Church and the parish community, and when they leave the community, they fail in this trust (as in so many others).
 
We had this problem as well. All three of my brothers have fallen away and brother-in-law has as well. Not that we are perfect, but friends are practicing less than stellar life styles. This was a very tough decision for us. We wanted godparents for our children who would be around for a considerable amount of their life. We asked dh’s brother kind of hoping that this would bring him back to the faith. So my son doesn’t have a godmother. For my daughter, we asked my aunt and uncle, who are drifting toward the dangerous side of rad trad. I have no idea what we’ll do for our next child.
 
Thank you for starting this thread. My husband and I will be parents for the first time this May, and we’ve been talking a lot about who would be the best Godparents for this child. I have two sisters and he has one sister, so I’m sure that our family expects us to choose one of them as Godmother, but the best Godparents we can think of are some of our devout Catholic friends. It’s a hard choice, but thanks for reminding me that we have to choose the people who would be the best example for our children.

The posts here have also reminded me to let our 7 godchildren know that I’m praying for them and thinking about them from a distance (we live in Canada for the time being, just for schooling, and the Godchildren are in the midwest and Texas). Having so many Godchildren is a blessing, but it can also be overwhelming while trying to keep in touch with them all! All this, and we’re only 25-years-old, so I can imagine that as more friends and relatives have babies, we’ll be called upon a couple more times.
 
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