M
Mijoy2
Guest
We are called to have “faith” in God. The word faith, inherently contains a certain degree of doubt and a certain degree of belief. Faith, to me, (and possibly this is where I err) is a combination, a summation of the components of doubt and belief. If there were no componet of belief, we wouldn’t use the word faith. We may use other words such as foolishness, or non-sense. If someone were to say to you they saw a cow jump over the moon your doubt would approach infinity, and your belief would approach zero (to use mathematical terms). If someone were to say to you the sun will in fact come up tomorrow morning; the word truth, or assurity, may be better fitting. In this case your belief would approach infinity and your doubt would approach zero. Faith, is the concept of lying somewhere in between.
My question is, how do I measure my faith? I can say I have faith. By my (above) definition I believe this profession of faith to be a truth. I say this because I know in my heart that my belief in God is not approaching zero. However it also does not approach infinity. I lay somewhere in between. What troubles me is I do not know exactly where. I cannot assign a degree to it. i.e. I believe 80% that God exists. I want to say it’s greater then 50/50 but I don’t know that it is. I suppose it may vary from time to time.
How do I know, at what point along this doubt-to-belief spectrum I am to be held accountable? If I cannot even assign myself a position on this hypothetical bell curve, where does God himself assign me? How do I know my faith is not woefully inadequet?
Having put this in a somewhat mathematical perspective thus far, please allow me to put it in more of a perspective of emotion.
I struggle day and night with my degree of Faith. I am called to love God with all my heart mind and soul. I don’t know how this is possible unless I am to the far right of this bell curve.
I could lie to myself, and thus lie to God, and simply tell myself I believe fully and I love God with all my heart, mind and soul. I can try to do this and I believe I do (try). I can research and read till the cow that jumped over the moon comes home, and I do this too. I’ve read many many books by many wonderful authors; Lewis, Chesterton, Hahn, Saint Theresa to name a few.
How, I ask the seemingly very faithful of this forum, do I enrich my faith? I know prayer will be the answer of choice. But how do I know, that if I pray and my faith seems to grow, I didn’t simply brainwash myself? That the growth in my faith did not come from God answering my prayers but came from myself, answering my prayers? I can’t help but be analytical about this. Couldn’t one argue, from a pure pragmatic perspective, that I can simply brainwash myself into a greater belief? I used to pray for private revelation. I have since read a very well written article by Father Most (I believe his name is) as to how this is not a wise thing to do. He states many reasons. One of which is that it is of greater merit for those who believe without such revelation. The apostle Thomas comes to mind here. But I have difficulty in understanding why it is perceived as wrong to ask for greater evidence, when the aquisition of evidence is something we are taught throughout our lives as being of good merit. I have a proposal I must present to others I work with this week. If I do not have conclusive data to support my proposal I’d be laughed out of the meeting. I can just imagine the response I’d get if I walked into the meeting and said, “trust me, I promise it will work”.
We are called to love God with all our mind, heart and soul. I truly want to be able to say I do, while being honest with myself when I say it.
My question is, how do I measure my faith? I can say I have faith. By my (above) definition I believe this profession of faith to be a truth. I say this because I know in my heart that my belief in God is not approaching zero. However it also does not approach infinity. I lay somewhere in between. What troubles me is I do not know exactly where. I cannot assign a degree to it. i.e. I believe 80% that God exists. I want to say it’s greater then 50/50 but I don’t know that it is. I suppose it may vary from time to time.
How do I know, at what point along this doubt-to-belief spectrum I am to be held accountable? If I cannot even assign myself a position on this hypothetical bell curve, where does God himself assign me? How do I know my faith is not woefully inadequet?
Having put this in a somewhat mathematical perspective thus far, please allow me to put it in more of a perspective of emotion.
I struggle day and night with my degree of Faith. I am called to love God with all my heart mind and soul. I don’t know how this is possible unless I am to the far right of this bell curve.
I could lie to myself, and thus lie to God, and simply tell myself I believe fully and I love God with all my heart, mind and soul. I can try to do this and I believe I do (try). I can research and read till the cow that jumped over the moon comes home, and I do this too. I’ve read many many books by many wonderful authors; Lewis, Chesterton, Hahn, Saint Theresa to name a few.
How, I ask the seemingly very faithful of this forum, do I enrich my faith? I know prayer will be the answer of choice. But how do I know, that if I pray and my faith seems to grow, I didn’t simply brainwash myself? That the growth in my faith did not come from God answering my prayers but came from myself, answering my prayers? I can’t help but be analytical about this. Couldn’t one argue, from a pure pragmatic perspective, that I can simply brainwash myself into a greater belief? I used to pray for private revelation. I have since read a very well written article by Father Most (I believe his name is) as to how this is not a wise thing to do. He states many reasons. One of which is that it is of greater merit for those who believe without such revelation. The apostle Thomas comes to mind here. But I have difficulty in understanding why it is perceived as wrong to ask for greater evidence, when the aquisition of evidence is something we are taught throughout our lives as being of good merit. I have a proposal I must present to others I work with this week. If I do not have conclusive data to support my proposal I’d be laughed out of the meeting. I can just imagine the response I’d get if I walked into the meeting and said, “trust me, I promise it will work”.
We are called to love God with all our mind, heart and soul. I truly want to be able to say I do, while being honest with myself when I say it.
