How do you address this evangelization tactic by a non-denominational Christian?

[Lady_Bug]

Hi, I wrote a thread about this mentor that I have been having since April 2006.
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=208615&highlight=Lady+Bug

Anyway, she knows that I am interested in Catholicism, but still wants me to attend this interdenominational Bible Study (some of the study sessions are held at Baptist Churches) and interdenominational Church.

She claims that many different types of people attend this Bible Study: Catholics, Baptists, Lutherans, etc. so I shouldn’t have a problem with it (I disagree)

But the bigger problem is that she wants me to start attending her nondenominational Church. I no longer want to, ever since I feel that my heart is leading me to Catholicism. She claims that this church does not have a specific set of beliefs that tons of people from different backgrounds come to this Church: Baptists, Catholics, Lutherans, Methodists, etc.

A true Catholic would not be attending such a church, for loaded reasons. She knows that I am interested in Catholicism, yet still tells me that it is OK to be Catholic and still attend this Church, yet that is not true, because she herself does not believe that Catholicism is true Christianity and yet attends the very church that she says is OK for Catholics to attend. This church does not have all 7 sacraments and has Baptist tendencies but is not flat-out Baptist. For example, it believes in Once Saved Always Saved and full immersion-only Baptism.

She probably thinks she is trying to do a good thing for me, but as far as I am concerned, good intentions do not mean that the person is right. After all, there is a statement “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

I don’t know if she is intending to deceive me by doing this. She does not seem like the type of person to trick me. I just try to assume that she is ignorant of Catholic teachings (which she is -and is resistant to as well) and thinks she knows what she is doing but really doesn’t.

Sadly though I am getting very annoyed with this. I am feeling strained from our visits together now.

If you were in my shoes, how would you address this situation?

 

[DJgang]

Instead of getting into all the theology with her, etc. You might want to speak to her along the terms that she is use to.

I would tell her that I wish to attend a church that feeds my soul.

I’ve used that description numerous times and it usually stops whoever in their tracks. Who would tell you to go somewhere that DOESN"T feed your soul?

Good luck. God bless.

 

[jkarp]

Hi, I wrote a thread about this mentor that I have been having since April 2006.
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=208615&highlight=Lady+Bug

Anyway, she knows that I am interested in Catholicism, but still wants me to attend this interdenominational Bible Study (some of the study sessions are held at Baptist Churches) and interdenominational Church.

But the bigger problem is that she wants me to start attending her nondenominational Church. I no longer want to, ever since I feel that my heart is leading me to Catholicism. She claims that this church does not have a specific set of beliefs that tons of people from different backgrounds come to this Church: Baptists, Catholics, Lutherans, Methodists, etc.

A true Catholic would not be attending such a church, for loaded reasons . . .

When I was in college, I earned extra money playing in a praise band at a First Christian Church (I am a cradle Catholic). They pastor there always invited me to communion, it is, afterall, “open-communion.” I could not in good conscience take communion with a community in which I do not profess communion.

If you are considering become Catholic (welcome home :extrahappy, I would suggest that you are correct in your belief that it really is not right to attend the non-denominational community.

I would suggest that if you do decide to cross the Tiber, you do as Scott Hahn did and, “take as many of your friends with you as you can.”

As a side question, are you currently attending Mass?

 

[C2K2]

Is she the one that started you on your Christian journey to begin with? Her persistance may be due to the fact that she may feel that she is loosing you to all that “silly Catholic stuff” and that if you would just stay under her wing and go with her to her church you will forget about all that “Catholic silliness” and get back on the right track.

My Grandmother was the same way (and still is) when my husband and I were going through RCIA. She told us that it didn’t matter what church we went to, they are all the same but was very upset when we continued with RCIA the following week.

Just be firm in not going but if you feel you can, maybe offer to trade her, go to mass together and then go to her service. But that is only if you feel strong enough to. Also try to understand that she is feeling that she is loosing you and maybe even feeling that she is letting down Jesus if she lets you become Catholic.

If that is the case have her pray for you, not to join her church but to follow Christ’s truth to where it leads you and she maybe surprised when her prayer is answered by you joining his Catholic Church

 

[Genesis315]

You could always just kindly decline the invitation

 

[RHisComingHome]

I agree with Genesis315. You can nicely tell her no thank you and explain to her that you feel called to take your walk with God in a different direction. If she is a real friend, she will respect you!

 

[ibkc]

I agree with the previous two posters that the best way is to be honest. Be kind, but honest and above all, firm. Otherwise, she’ll keep thinking that she has some chance of “saving” you, and that isn’t fair to either of you.

 

[Brady]

this church does not have a specific set of beliefs that tons of people from different backgrounds come to this Church: Baptists, Catholics, Lutherans, Methodists, etc.

 No set of beliefs- That's a wonderful way to keep division out of the church. But I dont believe that is what Paul had in mind.:thumbsup:  The largest danger here is the once saved always saved. That is HUGELY unscriptural, but easy to sell. Take 5 minutes on your laptop and research this one.

 If I were you, I would just tell her flat-out that the Holy Spirit was leading me in another direction (she will believe it is satan) get myself in a conversion class, and do what has to be done.

 

[scylla]

Most people from non-denominational churches do not realize that they are their own denomination, they just deny it while being it.

Would you be allowed to teach a Bible study using the Catholic Bible and an interpretation that denies once saved always saved. No because that doesn’t agree with the theology of the non-denominational denomination. The belief tradition of the non-denominational is very Baptist like it just has been severed from an understanding of history in order to reinvent the church yet again.

She probably does not see this and would need to be told gently that it is not the same to go to her service as opposed to a Catholic Mass. There is a huge difference but it would take a little bit of instruction to explain and sometimes people from non-denominational groups are not too interested in finding out more.
Study, pray and be a friend to her as maybe she would be open to learning more and opening her heart.

God Bless
Scylla

 

[YADA]

She claims that many different types of people attend this Bible Study: Catholics, Baptists, Lutherans, etc. so I shouldn’t have a problem with it (I disagree)

She claims that this church does not have a specific set of beliefs that tons of people from different backgrounds come to this Church: Baptists, Catholics, Lutherans, Methodists, etc.

I think that I would tell her that you could not 'in good conscience attend a church [or bible study] that does not have a specific set of beliefs" After all how could you be assured it was even christian? If a group has no set beliefs they could be teaching any thing … even pagan beliefs …

You should want to worship and learn about God with people who know what they believe and why they believe it … and also where their beliefs originate…

And that is why you should not go … IMHO

 

[Lady_Bug]

to the person who asked if I am attending Mass - I am not at this time. Right now I cannot even practice Catholicism because of my living situation (family is Muslim). Due to unemployment struggles and my lack of confidence in knowing how to be independent, I don’t know when I will move out ever, which is probably the only way I can be openly Catholic (I am over 18 and graduated from college but I don’t feel like disclosing my age because I should be old enough to know how to be independent and I feel I should be succeeding at obtaining employment).

Maybe this is the reason for my lack of motivation to seek RCIA (not lack of desire, but lack of motivation). If I cannot practice Catholicism what is the point of attending RCIA? Is there a lag time between taking RCIA and being confirmed that is an acceptable range?

Well, what I didn’t say in my original post is that I don’t enjoy even meeting with her anymore. I don’t want her as my mentor anymore, but I honestly don’t know how to say this. I think the fact that she will be attending this Bible study is an indicator that she won’t be my mentor “for some time” because this Bible study is on Monday nights and she claims that this is the only time when we can see each other (we used to be able to see each other on Tuesday evenings but her schedule doesn’t permit that anymore).

My principal (and maybe only - I don’t know) reason for not wanting to be her “apprentice” anymore is that I not only cannot reconcile with her beliefs, but the manner in which she shoves her beliefs down my throat (almost passive-aggressively) repels me deeply. Especially with the one statement, “You need to understand…Catholics worship Mary. They pray to her and ask for forgiveness…I’ve been to Catholic Churches, I know what I’m talking about” etc.

I am tired of it all. I don’t want to become anti-Protestant here but I am wondering how many are like this…relentless in their pursuit in converting Catholics or potential Catholics. It is turning me off extremely and I have to hear lectures from this person again on OSAS or faith vs. works, I will want to scream.

Sorry for my frustration in tone. When she first started off as my mentor, I didn’t have a problem because I was ignorant of Catholicism. Now I am not and therefore the situation is totally different.

This is very painful. This puts a strain on our friendship in my eyes, even if she doesn’t perceive it. And since I am lousy at making friends on my own, I don’t know when/if I can find a Catholic friend who is knowledgeable enough in her faith.

I hope I feel better soon!

 

[cecilia97]

But the bigger problem is that she wants me to start attending her nondenominational Church. I no longer want to, ever since I feel that my heart is leading me to Catholicism. She claims that this church does not have a specific set of beliefs that tons of people from different backgrounds come to this Church: Baptists, Catholics, Lutherans, Methodists, etc.

If that is the case, then I would ask “why should I waste my time?”. Seriously. In a situation like that, you can get “fellowship” and good musical entertainment and probably some coffee and dougnuts. Is it a church if they don’t believe anything? Go to a show on Friday night instead, the guitarist will be better.

Watering down Christianity to its lowest common denominator is good for hooking the fish who’s searching. But it won’t feed people in the long term.

But as others have said, a simple “no thank you, I’m not interested” should do it. I’ll be praying for you!

 

[kage_ar]

If your family will not allow you to practice Catholicism, would they allow you to attend these Christian groups?

 

[Joe_5859]

If the “apprenticeship” is causing you this much anxiety, that’s a good clue that it’s time to end it. It may be a painful and hard thing to do, but it would be much worse not to do it.

My spiritual director told me at our first meeting that, if at any point in time I felt that I was no longer growing in my relationship with the Lord or that his direction was no longer helping, I could go find another director and there would be no hard feelings.

This is the attitude any good spiritual director (or “mentor”) should have. They should be more concerned that you grow closer to Jesus than they are that they are the specific person to do it. True wisdom is recognizing when they have done all that they can for you. It appears that this is the case for you, even if your mentor does not recognize that.

You shouldn’t feel obligated to remain this woman’s apprentice or to follow all of her advice. You are under no obligation to do so. Perhaps you can remain friends with her, but friendship is an altogether different dynamic that mentor-apprentice. It can be difficult to retain friendships with people who do not share your new found faith. I would say that, when you are at the beginning of your journey into learning about Catholicism, it is very important to have good Catholic friendships. It’s much harder alone. Of course, there are a lot of great Catholic people on this forum who are always willing to lend a helping hand!

The first thing I would recommend is to contact a priest in your area. I know it can feel embarassing, but, trust me, many priests are very approachable and would be more than happy to listen to your thoughts and concerns without being judgemental. They won’t try to pressure you into doing things you’re not ready for (at least they shouldn’t!). It’s not as though you are committing to join the Church just by talking to them. If you take one step at a time, you’ll find it’s not so bad!

 

[Cristiano]

If your family will not allow you to practice Catholicism, would they allow you to attend these Christian groups?

Probably because they know of the weak case of non-denominational churches and the strength of the True Church.

 

[Lady_Bug]

If that is the case, then I would ask “why should I waste my time?”. Seriously. In a situation like that, you can get “fellowship” and good musical entertainment and probably some coffee and dougnuts. Is it a church if they don’t believe anything? Go to a show on Friday night instead, the guitarist will be better.

Watering down Christianity to its lowest common denominator is good for hooking the fish who’s searching. But it won’t feed people in the long term.

But as others have said, a simple “no thank you, I’m not interested” should do it. I’ll be praying for you!

Pardon me I made a mistake with my words in the church’s beliefs. I meant to say that as a congregation, the attendants of the church do not have a majority belief. It is an interdenominational church in terms of the people who attend, but the church itself as a set of beliefs. I don’t know if I am making sense. I will give the link to the set of beliefs and you can see if you have the same problems I do:
eriv.net/about-us/beliefs/
here is the link for the church’s belief on baptism: I’m sorry but it makes me angry (I am not diplomatic on religion )
eriv.net/resources/articles/Baptism.pdf

I have a problem with several of the beliefs there, but I don’t feel like going into detail: basically I have problems with their OSAS, faith alone, baptism by immersion only, etc. If you uncover more, let me know.

 

[Lady_Bug]

If your family will not allow you to practice Catholicism, would they allow you to attend these Christian groups?

well if they knew I was going to the groups, they would probably hate it and find some way to make me unable to go. I have been meeting this friend so far on evenings, and my dad doesn’t know that I have been meeting her for religious purposes.

but how long can I go sneaking out for religious activity? I feel like it’s living a lie, know what I mean?

As I said before, I am working on changing my living situation, but it feels like it’s taking forever.

 

[deb1]

well if they knew I was going to the groups, they would probably hate it and find some way to make me unable to go. I have been meeting this friend so far on evenings, and my dad doesn’t know that I have been meeting her for religious purposes.

but how long can I go sneaking out for religious activity? I feel like it’s living a lie, know what I mean?

As I said before, I am working on changing my living situation, but it feels like it’s taking forever.

I just want you to know that you are in my prayers.

 

[cecilia97]

Pardon me I made a mistake with my words in the church’s beliefs. I meant to say that as a congregation, the attendants of the church do not have a majority belief. It is an interdenominational church in terms of the people who attend, but the church itself as a set of beliefs. I don’t know if I am making sense. I will give the link to the set of beliefs and you can see if you have the same problems I do:
eriv.net/about-us/beliefs/
here is the link for the church’s belief on baptism: I’m sorry but it makes me angry (I am not diplomatic on religion )
eriv.net/resources/articles/Baptism.pdf

I have a problem with several of the beliefs there, but I don’t feel like going into detail: basically I have problems with their OSAS, faith alone, baptism by immersion only, etc. If you uncover more, let me know.

I get it now…but still wonder about these churches who tout that they have lots of people from other denominations. If the new church is so great, why don’t people still call themselves Methodist or Catholic? It’s like an un-church or something! We have them near me, too.

I get invited to a lot of other faiths’ worship services. I tend to base my acceptence of the invitation on how I feel about my relationship with the person who is asking, and what I think their motives are.

This Sunday I went to a Methodist church to hear a friend sing, for example. Last week someone invited me to a non-denom praise and worship service with contemporary music. I normally don’t go to those, but the friend who asked me knows I’m Catholic and thinks I might enjoy the “fellowship”. I trust her enough to know that, if I go, I won’t be walking into a love-bombing or a “we want to get you away from the pope so you can be saved!” situation.

When I don’t want to go, I say “oh, thank you so much, but I have plans for Sunday morning”. If I accept the invite, I try to make it very clear that I am Catholic, will always be Catholic, and cannot partake of communion at their church. I make sure they hear me say that I will still attend a Catholic Mass and attend their service in addition to that. I always invite them to my parish in return. They don’t often accept.

I’d suggest being very honest with this friend. She probably wants to help you find the faith that she thinks is best, but sounds like you think it’s not (I agree but that wasn’t your question for us). You could tell her that you feel led elsewhere, or that you’re confused right now and need a break from the invitations. Or that you’re Muslim and don’t feel comfortable attending. Or any other honest thing you think would work. But be true to yourself and your conscience. If she is angered by your honest (politely expressed) opinions, I’d say she might not be a friend you need in your life.

Praying for you…you’ll do great!

edited to add: Forgot the best reason…if you feel comfortable telling her “I don’t agree with some of the church’s beliefs”, that works too! Unless you just don’t want to get into any more discussion with her, because she will likely try to convince you of those beliefs.

 

[kage_ar]

Let’s say that your friend kept inviting you to go eat Sushi. You do not like sushi, you say “no thank you” to the friend and she keeps insisting. You would think she was a little odd?

Soon, you would look her in the eye and say “look, I do not want to eat sushi. If you would like to go eat a pizza with me, that will be great, but I am not now nor am I ever going to go eat sushi, not with you and not with anyone else.” If she values your friendship, she will drop the sushi and will respect your taste in food.

A real friend will respect the other friend, including difference in religious practice.