How do you console someone who has lost a loved one?

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Maria1993

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Hi everyone.
Here is some background:

My grandmother started a prayer group in her home country where they read the bible, and pray. A woman attending the group is in great pain, her son was murdered. From what I have been told, she does not know why ‘God took her son’. My grandmother wants to console her, but she does not know how, so she has asked my mother for help, my mother is also without words, and so I am trying to help her. She is in great need of words, and prayers for her and her deceased son, for consolation.

What can you tell someone? It obviously won’t make the pain go away, but there has to be a way to make her understand that God does not ‘puppet’ people into murdering others, and they do it with their own free will. What can you say to a person who is in great pain and is in ‘doubt’ with God?

Please and Thank You. God Bless.
 
I can’t recommend this program enough. I think it will help you (and your grandmother if she can also watch it) understand why things like this happen, and how to understand in the context of our faith.
Pain & Suffering
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Sometimes all Catholics suffer pain and loss, sometimes God can seem very far from us. This episode addresses the issue of suffering - both for individuals within the Church and for the world as a whole. Answering questions such as ‘Where is God when it hurts?’, this is an episode not to be missed.
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Click here: Pain and Suffering

God bless,

~Liza
 
Sometimes in situtations like this, words just aren’t enough. I think that if I were in such a situation, I’d be best comforted by someone just being there day after day. Not all day, by any means. Jut available. And to help take the load off of things. By this I mean, stuff like help with the backed up dishes and other chores that need doing but not getting the attention they need. Of course, my housekeeping is lousy to begin with, but all the help I could get in a time of need would be appreciated even if I can’t say the words.
 
What I would say as a lay person that the Bible says life has many tests and if the deceased person was by all accounts a “decent” person would state they are more than likely in heaven. Nonetheless, just in case I would state that we should pray to our heavenly Father to receive the deceased person.
 
Assist in having them tell stories about the departed person, sharing memories, especially happy ones.

Assist to do things in that person’s honor, especially things that person likesd to do, certain food? places to go? songs to sing?
 
Can you grand mother ask her priest to come? He would be the best person to speak with her.

Blessings and love!
 
I know that after losing my mother, it was a great help to me to just have people around to listen to what I was feeling, and having a shoulder to cry on. That might be what this woman needs right now. Hopefully, in time, she’ll be able to discuss it more openly and will come to realize that what happened isn’t God’s fault.
 
Maria1993 said:
Hi everyone.
Here is some background:

My grandmother started a prayer group in her home country where they read the bible, and pray. A woman attending the group is in great pain, her son was murdered. From what I have been told, she does not know why ‘God took her son’. My grandmother wants to console her, but she does not know how, so she has asked my mother for help, my mother is also without words, and so I am trying to help her. She is in great need of words, and prayers for her and her deceased son, for consolation.

What can you tell someone? It obviously won’t make the pain go away, but there has to be a way to make her understand that God does not ‘puppet’ people into murdering others, and they do it with their own free will. What can you say to a person who is in great pain and is in ‘doubt’ with God?

Please and Thank You. God Bless.
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The only possible words are, “Wow, that’s really awful. I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

If you have the means to help out in little ways, offer to help. Sadness takes energy away from the ability to do the ordinary tasks of life, so offer to help her clean house, get groceries, and put healthy meals together.

Here on this earth we cannot understand the “why.” We won’t know that until we ourselves pass on.
 
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