How do you deal with doubts?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Thomas1981
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
T

Thomas1981

Guest
I converted to Catholicism this past Easter. I’ve had amazing things happen to me and I’ve experienced the presence of God, that is the foundation of my belief. However, I still have periods where doubts creep in here and there. Maybe I think that some people have this unshakeable faith and never have doubts and that’s not really the case. I guess, as a convert, I feel like I’m afraid to engage others about my faith because I’m afraid of losing it or something, or they won’t like me, or will judge me as a fanatic or something. I feel like I’m still thin-skinned about the faith, I avoid people that are not believers or won’t let them get too close. It’s ironic because 12 months ago I would have been avoiding myself. I just feel paranoid that I’m going to lose my faith or something, or that someone is going to confront me and I’m not going to be able to respond. It’s like I feel that I have to protect this fragile thing against potential enemies everywhere. I don’t know if this is normal after conversion or not. (I do also have a history of OCD and anxiety problems so that might have something to do with it).
 
When someone is fresh to the church, it is certainly possible for the new faith to be tender and fragile. Sometimes we can expect to much of ourselves right away in a new venture. St. Paul went on retreat for three years before he began his missionary work. It does take time for it to gell and feel confortable with.

And so it is natural to have questions and a desire to know more up front. Just take the time you need to resolve this and then the moment will come when you may feel like getting your feet wet. Let the Holy Spirit guide you in this and have patience with yourself.

I would also encourage you not to engage on CAF in certain threads which you may not be ready for. Some may be a bit too much for you to handle at this point. So select threads that you will gain from and let the ones which are hard and thrusting for others.

And by the way, congratulations, and may the Good Shepherd be ever at your side.
 
Hi Thomas,
No body is completely doubtless all the time, (except for Jesus but He is God, He had insider information 😃 and I would imagine Mary was spared doubts because of her Immaculate Conception, :hmmm:)

Some of the greatest saints have gone through these trials. St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta went through a period of spiritual doubt so long and severe, she begged St. Pope John Paul II to release her from her vows. She prayed and meditated through it.

Nothing we can say on this forum will give you faith. Stay the course with your prayers, continue to do good works, do not miss any sacraments out of a misguided sense of unworthiness. Don’t believe what you feel, believe what you know which you have received from Jesus through the Apostles.
 
I converted to Catholicism this past Easter. I’ve had amazing things happen to me and I’ve experienced the presence of God, that is the foundation of my belief. However, I still have periods where doubts creep in here and there. Maybe I think that some people have this unshakeable faith and never have doubts and that’s not really the case. I guess, as a convert, I feel like I’m afraid to engage others about my faith because I’m afraid of losing it or something, or they won’t like me, or will judge me as a fanatic or something. I feel like I’m still thin-skinned about the faith, I avoid people that are not believers or won’t let them get too close. It’s ironic because 12 months ago I would have been avoiding myself. I just feel paranoid that I’m going to lose my faith or something, or that someone is going to confront me and I’m not going to be able to respond. It’s like I feel that I have to protect this fragile thing against potential enemies everywhere. I don’t know if this is normal after conversion or not. (I do also have a history of OCD and anxiety problems so that might have something to do with it).
If you have OCD and worried about these kinds of things, then you need to speak to a priest and consider spiritual direction. It sounds like you may be trending towards scrupulosity, and this kind of conscience requires direction and care.

It’s not quite clear to me if you are worried that someone will talk you out of being Catholic, if you are obligated to discuss/preach the Faith to others or what else. 🤷

But I want to emphasize STRONGLY that given your OCD and anxeity, this probably isn’t as bad as it sounds, but I really think you need to take active steps (meeting the priest first) to deal with it, because stuff like this can consume you for no reason.
 
Hi Thomas,
No body is completely doubtless all the time, (except for Jesus but He is God, He had insider information 😃 and I would imagine Mary was spared doubts because of her Immaculate Conception, :hmmm:)

Some of the greatest saints have gone through these trials. St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta went through a period of spiritual doubt so long and severe, she begged St. Pope John Paul II to release her from her vows. She prayed and meditated through it.
Nothing we can say on this forum will give you faith. Stay the course with your prayers, continue to do good works, do not miss any sacraments out of a misguided sense of unworthiness.
 
I know a few things about doubts:

Some are chemical, especially self-doubt. Pay little attention to this kind.
Some are intellectual: they come with a mind that is able to discern and be critical. Pray and pay attention.
Some are spiritual attacks by the Prince of Lies. Tell him where to go and then go study something to counteract your doubt…study the life of St Thomas the apostle, a doubter, or St Augustine, or Edith Stein. Watch old Fulton Sheen videos. Or go study an old apologetics book like “The Question Box” and learn some good counter-attacks.

Or wonder how such a “flimsy myth” as Christianity could create such a beautiful faith and mission in the world. Wonder why so many Early Christians would be willing to be martyred, why so many miracles, why so much endures against the odds.
 
I converted to Catholicism this past Easter. I’ve had amazing things happen to me and I’ve experienced the presence of God, that is the foundation of my belief. However, I still have periods where doubts creep in here and there. Maybe I think that some people have this unshakeable faith and never have doubts and that’s not really the case. I guess, as a convert, I feel like I’m afraid to engage others about my faith because I’m afraid of losing it or something, or they won’t like me, or will judge me as a fanatic or something. I feel like I’m still thin-skinned about the faith, I avoid people that are not believers or won’t let them get too close. It’s ironic because 12 months ago I would have been avoiding myself. I just feel paranoid that I’m going to lose my faith or something, or that someone is going to confront me and I’m not going to be able to respond. It’s like I feel that I have to protect this fragile thing against potential enemies everywhere. I don’t know if this is normal after conversion or not. (I do also have a history of OCD and anxiety problems so that might have something to do with it).
Oh so you’re a “Doubting Thomas”- Thomas, 😉
.
I can’t recall a time when I ever had serious doubts about my faith, though there have been those fleeting moments.

An anxious situation occurred during a long debate with some atheists some time ago that was a testing time. I really thought I was losing my faith at one point, and it upset me.
Shortly after that, I was in our church one day and came across a little day-to day monthly booklet with quotes or prayers from saints. or people of faith who had been an inspiration to others.
On one of the days there was this quote from St Augustine " Doubt is but an element of faith".

Another was this from St Theresa Avila
“Let nothing disturb you.
Let nothing frighten you.
All things are passing.
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things.
Whoever has God lacks nothing.
God alone suffices.”

It suddenly dawned on me that I wasn’t losing my faith at all, I had just been a little disturbed and confused.
So please don’t let those passing feelings of doubt ever worry you Thomas.
 
I don’t deal with them well at all.

What do you doubt? Is it God, or Christianity specifically?

I’ve doubted everything that can be doubted, and at the current moment I’m smack dab in the middle between believer and nonbeliever, but I’ve noticed that I doubt Jesus and Catholicism more than I doubt God (or simple theism). I’ve converted several different times in my life, most notably I was once a Jehovah’s Witness, and they don’t pray to Jesus because they don’t believe he is God, they only pray to God the Father. But for me, praying to God then, and praying to God as a Catholic were the exact same thing. It was the same when I was considering Islam, as well. My point is, the notion of God, creator of the Universe, has been like a constant for me. It’s also easier to accept in my mind (there aren’t too many good options for explaining our existence). But Jesus and the Church, that’s harder for me right now. I too am an adult convert to Catholicism. What I have found that has helped me is focusing on the spirituality and not so much on the doctrines or theology. Ignatian spirituality in particular has been helpful to me.
jesuits.org/spirituality?PAGE=DTN-20130520125910
 
First, all of the fear you are expressing is not unique among converts. Cradle Catholics get that too.

Second, do not fear “losing Catholic faith”. Formally, you can do anything at all and you are still Catholic – maybe not a “model” Catholic for those who notice and judge, but still Catholic. You can renounce your faith or be excommunicated, and you are still Catholic because those things can be remedied without another baptism. One baptism, or acceptance after valid baptism elsewhere, and you’re in until your death.

Third, I consider doubt as an aspect of faith, not an enemy of faith. There are times when I think, “if there isn’t a God, then somebody must have orchestrated that in order to have worked out the way it did.” Like the Holy Spirit had this whole plan arranged and I just fell right into it. Other times it just makes no sense. So I was like, well gosh can’t I make up my mind, am I in or out?

It was clear that especially in the context of “bipolar disorder,” I didn’t need ups and downs caused by my faith in God fluctuating and causing yet another source of stress.

So I took an engineering problem-solving approach.

Given: try as I might to be consistent, some days I believe and other days I doubt.

Goal: find a way to live my life so that I have peace, hope but not ever “expecting” my faith fluctuations to stop.

Strategy: stick closely to what God told us to do about Jesus “listen to Him” and see what that says about how to live. Jesus said “believe in Me” but He didn’t exactly say “you must believe everything your faith teaches you in order to enter the kingdom.” But leaving that reference aside, Jesus’s teachings can bring you into a “kingdom” mentality without even getting into lots of dogma.

Like for example “do not judge” – or that “group identification” is not impressive to God – or that in the kingdom, the one who serves is the greatest. Things like that do not require any belief in dogma, or for that matter even whether He was God. All you have to believe is that there is benefit to reading this. Then trust the Holy Spirit will take it from there. 👍

Focus on what Jesus says, and consider all the implications. Don’t worry about whether you are “right” necessarily, you can use some ideas to explore; it’s not sinful to do that. In fact, in an ancient monastic prayer form “Lectio Divina” (divine reading) the focus is not on getting the “right” understanding, but exploring your own reactions to Scripture and in some groups sharing with others and other group they discourage that.

Also remember Jesus spoke “with authority” in the temple, which amazed people because they’d never heard of it. “Authority” didn’t used to mean citing sources like it does now or wears a certain title (which it could have been but He didn’t – they noted that specifically “isn’t this the son of a carpenter”); it meant He was the “author” of His own statements. Unlike the others, when He read scripture, He took it personally and asked honest questions and formed honest conclusions. In His pure heart, this of course was “authoritative” in that He was God, but what they really saw was a man “speaking His own mind” on issue of scripture. They may have wondered whether he was mad.

So I encourage you to examine your personal ideas about faith, and don’t be afraid to doubt. To me, refusing to allow myself to doubt only would make it stronger because if I have to keep talking myself into something to believe it, or if I know I am hiding doubt, then I’m only fooling myself. If you doubt at the wrong moment, you could sink into the sea like Peter – but then again Peter may have gotten wet but that was an important stage in his spiritual development. Doing the “miraculous” requires strong faith, but doubt is never far away.

Btw my brother’s confirmation name was Thomas. I think Thomas gets a bum rap because Jesus says “blessed are they who see but don’t believe” and I think a lot of people conclude that He means “so they are better off than you” – but I don’t get that from it. Jesus doesn’t generally compare people unfavorably with others unless they are judgmental or haughty – like comparing the tax collector with the pharisee who thanked God for not making him like the tax collector. Plus there was no indication that Jesus was annoyed but instead wished to give Thomas the information he wanted, rather than a lecture that he shouldn’t have had it.

Plus a man raised from the dead is quite a story, and he was late in showing up so yeah you get home and your buddies tell you hey our friend whom we just saw get killed, is right here – you might just think it’s a gag or there is some other disconnect.

Beliefs are something I cannot control. I can wish to believe something, pretend I do, live as if I do, and often I don’t really know whether I believe something. But I can’t just “will” whatever I actually believe in my heart. When it comes to core beliefs, my head can’t fool my heart.
 
First, all of the fear you are expressing is not unique among converts. Cradle Catholics get that too.

Second, do not fear “losing Catholic faith”. Formally, you can do anything at all and you are still Catholic – maybe not a “model” Catholic for those who notice and judge, but still Catholic. You can renounce your faith or be excommunicated, and you are still Catholic because those things can be remedied without another baptism. One baptism, or acceptance after valid baptism elsewhere, and you’re in until your death.

Third, I consider doubt as an aspect of faith, not an enemy of faith. There are times when I think, “if there isn’t a God, then somebody must have orchestrated that in order to have worked out the way it did.” Like the Holy Spirit had this whole plan arranged and I just fell right into it. Other times it just makes no sense. So I was like, well gosh can’t I make up my mind, am I in or out?

It was clear that especially in the context of “bipolar disorder,” I didn’t need ups and downs caused by my faith in God fluctuating and causing yet another source of stress.

So I took an engineering problem-solving approach.

Given: try as I might to be consistent, some days I believe and other days I doubt.

Goal: find a way to live my life so that I have peace, hope but not ever “expecting” my faith fluctuations to stop.

Strategy: stick closely to what God told us to do about Jesus “listen to Him” and see what that says about how to live. Jesus said “believe in Me” but He didn’t exactly say “you must believe everything your faith teaches you in order to enter the kingdom.” But leaving that reference aside, Jesus’s teachings can bring you into a “kingdom” mentality without even getting into lots of dogma.

Like for example “do not judge” – or that “group identification” is not impressive to God – or that in the kingdom, the one who serves is the greatest. Things like that do not require any belief in dogma, or for that matter even whether He was God. All you have to believe is that there is benefit to reading this. Then trust the Holy Spirit will take it from there. 👍

Focus on what Jesus says, and consider all the implications. Don’t worry about whether you are “right” necessarily, you can use some ideas to explore; it’s not sinful to do that. In fact, in an ancient monastic prayer form “Lectio Divina” (divine reading) the focus is not on getting the “right” understanding, but exploring your own reactions to Scripture and in some groups sharing with others and other group they discourage that.

Also remember Jesus spoke “with authority” in the temple, which amazed people because they’d never heard of it. “Authority” didn’t used to mean citing sources like it does now or wears a certain title (which it could have been but He didn’t – they noted that specifically “isn’t this the son of a carpenter”); it meant He was the “author” of His own statements. Unlike the others, when He read scripture, He took it personally and asked honest questions and formed honest conclusions. In His pure heart, this of course was “authoritative” in that He was God, but what they really saw was a man “speaking His own mind” on issue of scripture. They may have wondered whether he was mad.

So I encourage you to examine your personal ideas about faith, and don’t be afraid to doubt. To me, refusing to allow myself to doubt only would make it stronger because if I have to keep talking myself into something to believe it, or if I know I am hiding doubt, then I’m only fooling myself. If you doubt at the wrong moment, you could sink into the sea like Peter – but then again Peter may have gotten wet but that was an important stage in his spiritual development. Doing the “miraculous” requires strong faith, but doubt is never far away.

Btw my brother’s confirmation name was Thomas. I think Thomas gets a bum rap because Jesus says “blessed are they who see but don’t believe” and I think a lot of people conclude that He means “so they are better off than you” – but I don’t get that from it. Jesus doesn’t generally compare people unfavorably with others unless they are judgmental or haughty – like comparing the tax collector with the pharisee who thanked God for not making him like the tax collector. Plus there was no indication that Jesus was annoyed but instead wished to give Thomas the information he wanted, rather than a lecture that he shouldn’t have had it.

Plus a man raised from the dead is quite a story, and he was late in showing up so yeah you get home and your buddies tell you hey our friend whom we just saw get killed, is right here – you might just think it’s a gag or there is some other disconnect.

Beliefs are something I cannot control. I can wish to believe something, pretend I do, live as if I do, and often I don’t really know whether I believe something. But I can’t just “will” whatever I actually believe in my heart. When it comes to core beliefs, my head can’t fool my heart.
Great advice!
 
I’ve had amazing things happen to me and I’ve experienced the presence of God, that is the foundation of my belief.
Perhaps this is one of the problems. Being given consolations is wonderful, and we should thank God for them, but consolations should never be the main buttress of our spiritual life. That’s extremely dangerous, because emotions change, and they can also be manipulated.

I would say you may very well be being called to delve a bit deeper into the intellectual aspects of the faith.

To answer your question: I deal with doubts with prayer and with study. If I have something I’m confused about, I consult relevant sources. Moreover, simply engaging in some spiritual reading can be a great help.

One of my favorite things about the Catholic faith is that just about any and all objections I can raise have already been raised and answered many times over by the great Doctors of the Church—St. Thomas Aquinas being the prime example!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top