How do you deal with family that asks why you're still single?

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SacredHeartBassist

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Mom wants grandkids. I’m not even dating anyone right now. How do you guys on CAF deal with relatives that are pushy about this?
 
In my head: elaborate stories about how I’m waiting for a mysterious stranger to ride in on a wild black steed and sweep me away for a whirlwind romance and a wedding in a forgotten chapel in the woods, before we retire to a castle and I live my life documenting the books in his ancient library. Wild blackberries with freshly whipped cream from local cows should fit in there somewhere.

In practice: Smile and say “oh, I’m just taking life as it comes!” and then change the subject. Multiple times, if necessary. Just remember, they’re the ones being rude by pushing.
 
My mom is sick and she thinks she’s dying. She might be. I don’t know the true extent of all her ailments. She keeps asking because she doesn’t want to die without me being married with kids
 
I would politely point out to them that it’s improper and rude to badger someone over this delicate and personal subject.
 
My method was “the family name is going to die out with me–ha HA!”

that didn’t go so well with mom
 
“I know you want to see me settled mom, but it’s just not my time for that yet. Keep praying for me and one day it might happen.”
 
Thanks. I was telling her to just forget about it since Ive been too busy to date but what you said is better
 
Say you’re gay.

Just kidding. But I would say that I’m open to dating but I’m trying to focus on being the best version of myself.

Thankfully my dad is still praying that I won’t ever meet a guy. So I don’t know what it’s like, but my older cousins have always said that they’re just getting to know people first
 
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When my grandma used to ask me the same question, I used to tell her, grandma, it’s not like I have a line of suitors out the door asking to marry me.

You could also say that surely your mom wants what’s best for you and doesn’t want you to marry the first guy that comes along just to give her grandkids. It will happen in God’s time.
 
LisaB said:
You could also say that surely your mom wants what’s best for you and doesn’t want you to marry the first guy that comes along just to give her grandkids. It will happen in God’s time.
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@SacredHeartBassist is male.

Tounge in cheek: if you have siblings persuade one of them to get married and have kids.

Fortunately I’ve never really had an issue. I may be asked now and again if I’m seeing anyone but they don’t make a big deal about it.

My own attitude is if God wants me to marry I’ll meet someone in his time.
 
If your family nags you, there will always something to nag you about. If you get married, they’ll pester you about having a child; if you have a child, they’ll pester you about having another child; and then once you have children, they can pester you about something your child isn’t doing properly yet. Learn to shut down intrusive questions with one of the scripts provided above.
 
Fortunately, my immediate family doesn’t bug me about this, but I get some questions from extended family. I just tell them the truth. I lack the ability to meet single women. 🙂 Seriously, if I meet a woman and determine there’s some chemistry, she won’t be single.
 
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I’ve heard it explained as people want to know when you’ll reach the next “level up” stage in your life. The next adult steps marker in most people’s minds is getting married, so they start nagging. A smile and “I’m sure it’ll happen if it’s meant to be, but in the meantime…” and then proceed to tell them the good things that are in your life can also help with worried family. There’s still a lot of people who think anyone past a certain age who isn’t married must be miserable.
 
That is a very good response. And if they keep at it “But don’t you want to get married?” Just say “Oh, look at the time, gotta run.” And escape.
 
I just say I’m too ornery to get married when questioned.

They, my extended family, agree on that.

They know me too well.
 
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I’m also ornery.

I’d answer "why are you still (insert specific here, bald, nosy, etc.)
 
I’m far too Curmudgenous for Marriage 😒
 
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Lea101 said:
Say you’re gay.
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Do NOT say that! Some people may believe it, and you may get harassed, especially if you do find someone of the opposite sex to marry - you will get the “I thought you were gay” response, and some may actually try to break the two of you up by telling her “you know, he’s gay - why would you want to marry him?”.
 
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SacredHeartBassist said:
My mom is sick and she thinks she’s dying. She might be. I don’t know the true extent of all her ailments. She keeps asking because she doesn’t want to die without me being married with kids
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How many years did Fred Sanford keep getting heart attacks? Lamont saw through it and called him on it.

When people get manipulative and pushy, sometimes you need to not be concerned about social niceties.

If things get bad, you just may have to put your foot down, let your aggravation show, and say “If and when I get married, it will be for me, NOT YOU!”
 
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