Such a hard question. I’m reading a great book on it though by Mark Thibodeaux.
I’m having a hard time right now. I have prayed and prayed for God to send a good Catholic man into my life. Then, just a couple of weeks ago a man in my parish who had always been there suddenly came to my notice. I am in RCIA with him–we are both sponsors–and the more I am around him the more attracted I am to him. He is smart, funny, in love with his Catholic faith, has a career in advocating Catholic social teaching, and is even on Catholic Match, saying that he wants to be married. The joy I felt when I realized God had answered my prayers was so great! Yet, I am crushed. As far as I can tell, this man has no interest in me. He has not made an effort to talk to me or get to know me, and I am a believer that the man should do the pursuing. Although he looks at me when he’s talking during RCIA as if to make contact, and I look at him when I’m making a comment too, it never goes further than that. I have gone over to the side of the room he’s on after RCIA is over so that I can talk to the deacon, and I say “hi” to him as I pass by, but I only get a small smile out of him–nothing more. It’s breaking my heart to finally have a man that I find so wonderful that close by, yet so emotionally far away. And worst of all, I’m angry at God about it. Why would He bring someone so wonderful into my path as an answer to my prayers and then seem to yank him away? It seems as if God is deliberately being cruel to me. He knows the desires of my heart. How could he do this?
