How do you get teens to open up in a youth group setting?

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I work with a parish high school youth group. They are interested in socializing, playing games and having snacks. Any time we get into anything remotely “religious” they all clam up and quit talking. The room gets very quiet. It’s a chore to get a discussion about faith issues going, let along getting them to open up and share themselves - their thoughts, their experiences, their faith life. These are both such important aspects to their faith journey. Most of them have been very poorly catechized. Any ideas on how to get the kids to open up and/or get them excited about their faith? Thanks.
 
First of all, God Bless you for working with these kids.

Second of all, I remember being one of those poorly Catechized kids. I didn’t feel I had anything to offer because I barely knew the basics. So I would suggest you have a ‘stupid question’ day. Of course there is no thing as a stupid question, but kids stay mute on questions they really want to know but feel stupid asking. You could have ALL of them write on a slip of paper a question or two about something they feel they should know already, but feel wierd asking aloud. Then as a class you could answer these anonymous questions. Like what is the Eucharist? Why do we kneel? Why do we do the sign of the cross?

Another way is to challenge them to answer your questions.
For example ask them how having only a personal relationship with Jesus can be misleading. Prod them with suggestions, and have them add on to that.

A really good way to get them more involved is to have a debate. They would have to research a topic and then have a semi-formal debate in class about it.

Make sure that they have the resources to learn. You could buy a pack of Friendly Defender Cards and have them make up their own cards to teach each other using their own examples. Make a project of it and then they could make their own set of cards to give to the lower CCD classes.

Have them do their own teaching projects where they make presentations to the class.

Topics could be:

Eucharistic Miracles

The Incorruptables

How to Make an good Examination of Conscience; they could make up their own questions following the pattern of a Examination of Conscience pamphlet

Purgatory: What is myth and what is True?

What is Confirmation?

What is Mass?

Is a Sacrament only a Symbol?

I strongly suggest that you get the book by Oscar Lukefair, C.M. “WE BELIEVE…”: A Survey of the CATHOLIC FAITH. and use that to help you set up lessons.

Your students aren’t going to be able to share what they don’t really fully grasp. They can’t open up if they haven’t yet understood what is going on.
But I do think that they will get excited and caught up in learning if you help them know how much great stuff is available to them. Be sure they know about their resources and where they can go to find stuff out.

I also strongly suggest you get them to listen to a Scott Hahn, or other apologist Tape.
 
perhaps they are not clamming up, but listening…they want to figure about how you feel before they open up about how they feel.

Let large group discussion be large…

Then don’t the kids pick small groups, they tend to go with friends and then be embarassed to say things infront of friends. Insted use a sigh-in sheet and have someone divide up the kids while the talk is being given.
Its how my youth group does it and it works pretty well.
 
Do you have any older teens there to help? I’m a teen leader with our Confimation program and none of the kids say anything when the teachers pose a question. Then, I generally take the question, and add in a scenario that I have experienced. I say what happened, how I reacted, and how church teachings are related. I think it helps that I used to be more of a salad-bar Catholic and did some particularly dumb things, some sinful things, and have experienced a diverse group of people. They react well to that. Most of them don’t know the basics, and I start discussions by explaining why I do something and/or why the church teachs a certain thing. This tends to get some people talking (maybe because they don’t have to ask basic questions).

The other thing that seems to work well is relating lessons to pop-culture. For example, we had a dialogue on the Kobe Bryant case, and the moral issues behind it. Every single teen there had something to say. It’s a matter of finding things that they can relate to, and not throwing too much at them at once. If they start to give an answer, prod and poke to get them to elaborate. Don’t hit them with something too heavy, because then they will shut down.

Eamon

Edit:// Don’t use those hypotheical situation things (you know, “Jenny likes Mike. She wants to have sex with him. What should she do?” ) The teens will feel like you are talking down to them. Give them a bit of complexity, and acknowledge what they have to say.
 
As a teen I like being challenged. There are a few things to try.
  1. Ask us the questions. Not just who, what, where, when and why questions. Tell a story or get a tough scenario and ask if anyone has a similar story or what they would have done differently. Once you get a good discussion going then whip out the catechism and say a quote here and there, but keep the discussion going.
  2. Make the topic of discussion interesting. My peers like to talk about the tough subjects like dating, abortion, homosexuality, and stuff like that. But while you talk about that you relate it to the Church, the Faith, and the truth. The easiest subject to relate that to is the comparison of other religions.
  3. Once or twice per month/year have a party or some retreat to bring youth together. (Even have the teens help plan it) The tendency to socialize is there, but if the retreat is full of religious activities, reflections, meditations and speeches, it’ll keep us busy and more focused on our curiosity of our Faith. Be sure to have small breaks in between activities to keep our attention span up.
  4. Use various media to present Catechesis. Don’t just lecture. Use movies, tapes, and even music to break the routine. (Make sure the media you use is interesting.) Then you can comment in between here and there.
  5. One of the most fun Catechesis learning experience I had was with a game. We’d split up boys verses girls and then Catholic trivia questions (from the board game Divinity) was asked to each team like Jeopardy. Each team only has an individual at a time to answer the question (with no help). And at the end of the game, who ever had the most points at the end won a treat.
Hopefully this helps. I’ve been through a lot and these tips have helped our Religious Ed classes become more teen involved.
 
The CFC-Youth use peir-to-peir mentoring. Many times the kids don’t want to talk to us old folks because, “we just don’t understand”.
 
Linnasue,

I have been right where you are. You can’t fool those kids. If you don’t know what your talking about 100% they will tune you out. It cannot be artificial. There are no tricks- it has to be the real thing.

I kept the Catechism handy. If you can get or borrow some the Father Corapi tapes or CDs, that will get attention. He is a great teacher. He has one series that covers the Catechism.

And when you have the “dumb questions” session have them put their questions in a box. Then pull them out one at a time. No one knows who asked it, see?
 
High school students, and boys in particular, are generally not very willing to share their feelings, let alone their religious experiences. This is just the way it is. It’s how I was and, to some extent, still am. I don’t think this is a bad thing either.

Present the teachings of the Church. Don’t dumb it down. They are smart, they just might not like to talk a lot. If things start getting too advanced or complicated, they’ll start asking questions. Still is far better than boring them to death.

Certain topics will be more interesting than others. If it has cold, hard facts, it will be interesting. If it gets too touchy-feely, they’ll tune out.

Oh, and don’t make them do skits. I always hated that. Still do. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t a theatre major.
 
No offense, but I am from a generation of poorly catechized Catholics. I spent 12 years in Catholic schools discussing feelings. Eventually, I strayed away from the faith. After making terrible mistakes in my life, I eventually returned, knowing I was missing something. I began reading everything I could. MY LORD! The stuff I did not know! You have no idea the sadness I feel to this day knowing that for years I received Communion in a state of mortal sin because I was never taught how to make a proper Confession and was never illuminated tot he fact that Our Lord is really present in the Eucharist - or - didn’t understand grace that should have come from the Sacrament of Confirmation - or - fell prey to the lies of secularism because I didn’t know how to defend the Truth when faced with many choices in my life - and I could go on.

Teach them the faith! They are not gonna open up about something they know nothing about. And any teenager can fool you with fluffiness and flowery feeling stuff for a few minutes in order to get tot he fun stuff. I am not trying to be mean or uncharitable. I am trying to be charitable here. Catechize them. teach them to pray. Spend at least 15 minutes in front of the Blessed Sacrament with them from time to time (how many of our kids today can conceive of being still to hear God’s voice). Many kids are so lukewarm these years. Then they go off to college and become rooted more in secularism, or are converted into other religions - lack of catechesis. I have to agree with many of the responses you have received already. Want them to open up and talk - give them something to talk about - the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

Father Corapi also suggested to those teaching the faith that they live the faith themselves and not just preach it (I am not implying that you are not), spend time before the Blessed Sacrament, pray for your students, offer up sacrifices, and so on.

God bless you. Few people stepped up to the plate and your compassion for these kids is apparent. I just felt I had to share my insight with you (even though according to my teenager - I couldn’t possibly know what it is like to be a teen. LOL!)
 
first of all we have no right to force any teen (or adult) to “open up” in a small group setting or elsewhere. Some people hate to be thrust in that situation. The best we can do is try to build community among the youth group or confirmation class, and experience has shown the small group model works best, with older confirmed teens or young adults as mentors and facilitators. Younger teens should be in all boy and all girl groups as most simply will not “share” with opposite sex groups especially about sensitive topics. When kids are put in a situation where they are forced to “witness” they feel pressured, even to making up stories to sound sympathetic.

Try faith sharing with the Sunday gospel in small group settings, with the goal of encouraging reflection and comments on how to apply the gospel to daily life. Limit this to 5-10 minutes for each meeting or class.

the adult leaders and catechists should be meeting to do the same thing on a regular basis.
 
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puzzleannie:
first of all we have no right to force any teen (or adult) to “open up” in a small group setting or elsewhere.
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Amen.
 
I want to thank all of you for being so helpful. A lot of good ideas have come along so far.

Understanding that many of our kids are poorly catechized and therefore will find it difficult to talk about their faith (something they don’t really know much about) we are attempting to cover the basics with them. We use Catholic versions of game shows, which are fun and teach them something at the same time. Its progress. Thanks for your other ideas on how to teach them about the faith. I’ve made notes!

We try to get the older high schoolers to help lead when we can, although that is something we realize we need to make happen more often.

Skits - I, too, HATED skits! But you know what? Our kids said they WANT skits! By a show of hands, nearly every one of them want to do skits. Go figure. That taught me never to make judgments FOR them - to ask.

We never put them in a position where they are “forced” to do something they do not want. If they don’t want to, or can’t, share about their faith, that’s fine. But we need to give the others an opportunity to do so because that is why we are there. This past week we actually had a good discussion. There were several kids who had some meaningful things to say, but the majority of the kids did not. Had we not given everyone this opportunity, those who talked wouldn’t have had the chance to let us all know how God was working in their lives. What they shared meant a lot to them and they were obviously glad for the opportunity to share. The “silent” ones would not have learned from the witness of their peers. They had the chance the talk, but we certainly did not try to “make” them. It was a hopeful start.

Thanks again everyone. If you think about it, say a prayer for my sophomore son and friends who are going to Franciscan University this weekend with his high school theology class & teachers. College visit, Festival of Praise, Mass, adoration, confession, etc. They will see another dimension of how the Catholic faith can be lived out - and it should be awesome!
 
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maryprayforme:
No offense, but I am from a generation of poorly catechized Catholics. I spent 12 years in Catholic schools discussing feelings. Eventually, I strayed away from the faith. After making terrible mistakes in my life, I eventually returned, knowing I was missing something. I began reading everything I could. MY LORD! The stuff I did not know! You have no idea the sadness I feel to this day knowing that for years I received Communion in a state of mortal sin because I was never taught how to make a proper Confession and was never illuminated tot he fact that Our Lord is really present in the Eucharist - or - didn’t understand grace that should have come from the Sacrament of Confirmation - or - fell prey to the lies of secularism because I didn’t know how to defend the Truth when faced with many choices in my life - and I could go on.}

This is right on. I am teaching a first year Confirmation group this year. The book that we were using had the “Feelings” theme. I have had to ignore the book and go back to basics. The class knows so little about the bible and Catholic basics. They actually got interested in the Ten Commandments, when I mentioned going to a fortune teller was a sin!

Deacon Tony
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I agree that today’s Catholic teens (and their parents and catechists) are often poorly catechized, but the original post asked about the parish youth group, not the CCD or Confirmation class. it is important not to confuse the two. If the kids think YG is just an extension of CCD the ones who need it most will not participate.

The CCD or confirmation coordinator should be taking care of the catechetical aspect of their lives. The YG leaders need to poll the kids and find out what they want, and help them come up with a mission statement (as we would call it) for what their goals are and how they want to reach those goals. Obviously this calls for some gentle steering to make sure those goals have something to do with living out their baptismal vocation.
 
Thank God someone posted this :clapping: .

I am a teen that attends a ‘Bible Club’ at my school which sessions from 6:30ish to around 7 o’ clock. What we do is read the bible, answer some questions about what we just read, and have some prayer requests.

The thing is, is that the club is every Wednesday and many of us don’t speak up. I think we need to go more DEEPER into the meaning of some of the verses. I don’t know if this is because it is so early or that no one can answer any question. I am also thinking I am probably the only Catholic there because I haven’t seen anyone else do the sign of the cross and most of them have ended there prayers with ‘In Jesus’s name’.
I pray that God blesses all with the Holy Spirit so that the answers of these questions would just flow out of hearts but it seems some of us don’t know or are just timid.

Please pray for this club because I think we might be able to get some people if we tried more harder. :blessyou:
 
Plan your group session beforehand. Divide the group work up into small tasks at which the youths can succeed. Better many small successes than risking failure at something big. But also build in some small failures too so that the youths can learn from their failures and have incentive to succeed.

Design the workspace so that there are choices of activity areas. Lining youths up around a table or in a row of chairs is really bad planning. If the youth want to wander around, let them. Have something very very interesting at each activity area.

Have three simple, clear, concrete rules for behaviour. Be consistent in enforcing the rules. Help them with their behaviour but base your help on your relationship with them. They will go to the ends of the earth for you if they feel that you love them and respect them. They will test you on this. Pass the test.

Plan an icebreaker. Something which allows them to move around, get to know each other, and act crazy; not too crazy though because teens don’t like to stick out.

When in doubt break the group up into small groups, preferably three to a group. Give each small group a task. When the group is presenting their task, make a big deal of praising them.

Plan some take-home crafts. Friendship bracelets are popular. Find some crafts on a website and n i p and tuck it into a religious theme.

Never permit a group to leave without closure. Even if everything has gone wrong in the group session and people are angry, always schedule time to achieve closure. Closure means speaking up, listening, gaining insight, and having something to look forward to at the next session.

Problems? The answer is in the group.
 
Ask them for some lesson ideas.
Teach them, but don’t make them feel like they are at school, in high school most of us would zone out if it hit lecture time. You can have a lesson, but then ask what their opinion is. Don’t make any one feel like they have a bad opinion, you can tell them what the official opinion is, but if people feel like their opinion is being seen as bad they will clam up or argue. Most teens are intelligent and have opinions on topics and if it is seen that the environment is such that they can reveal their opinion they will. Just be prepared that someone may disaggree or you may get asked questions that are hard to answer.

We had a class that was run this way and it was one of the best things that happened. We all learned so much and had fun. Almost everybody missed the teacher when someone decided to run him off.
 
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