How do you guys discern?

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LordNecro

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What exactly are you guys doing in your discernment? What are you looking for?

I’m kind of contemplating two different routes and examining my interior reactions to either of them.
 
That’s a great question.

I discern by, first and foremost, praying. I pray the Rosary daily and ask for guidance and direction.

Another part of discernment is playing an active role in the parish. I do this by being active in the Knights of Columbus, St. Vincent de Paul Society, the food bank and other such groups.

Part of discernment that some people might be too shy or nervous to do is talking to priests and religious about a vocation. I myself was worried for a long time that if I approached a priest about seminary and ended up not following through that I would feel bad, like I let my priest down or something. This just simply isn’t the case. Good priests want to help you find your true calling, whether it be to religious life or matrimony.

Of course, regularly receiving the sacraments is extremely important, though in that regard I am at a sever disadvantage. I travel to remote places for work and I’m on tower from 6am to 6pm, no days off for weeks at a time. This makes going to Mass all but impossible. Though, when the chance comes up I do get to visit many different parishes in my archdiocese. When I finally do get to go home I attend daily Mass and I try to make it a point to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation regularly.

I think the hardest part of discernment is taking that first step on your own. For me it was making that first call to the vocation director’s office. From there things started happening fairly fast and that, at first, was a little frightening. But, that’s where prayer comes in again. Trusting in God and relying on the prayers of Our Blessed Mother for strength and courage.

I hope this helps.
 
Hello,

I had the great grace to have a lengthy telephone conversation with Natalie Smith, founder and director of VocationsPlacement.org, about the process of discerning. Her insights were invaluable, in my opinion, because she sees vocation in its broadest yet most specific sense. According to Natalie, discerning a vocation is not some mystical process where prayer, fasting, and reading goat entrails will reveal which path we each should walk, but it’s about grace and conversion.

The vocation begins by knowing yourself – what you like, what you don’t like, how you connect with God, what distances you from God, etc. If you don’t know yourself then you’ll never know your vocation.

Next, you find people or religious orders who you think best emulate those values. Then you take time to visit with these people or groups in order to learn about their way of life, who they are, and what they seek in life. If a certain person or group has the necessary grace to constantly effect conversion within you, then this is likely your vocation.

Lastly, we can’t mold ourselves into our preferred vocation. If I’m called to be a Secular Franciscan but would prefer to become an ordained Capuchin priest, I may very well find myself miserable because being an ordained Capuchin may very well prove to lack the necessary graces which I need to climb the ladder towards God. In fact, going against the grain may very well prove to be my pitfall.

Hope this helps.
 
  1. Get a spiritual director; review the kinds of consecrated life
  2. Grace builds on nature
  3. The Holy Ghost works on attraction
  4. There is no novitiate for marrige.
HTH.

Blessings,
Cloisters
 
LordNecro said:
What exactly are you guys doing in your discernment? What are you looking for?

I’m kind of contemplating two different routes and examining my interior reactions to either of them.
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Lately, I’ve been just following the promptings of my heart and asking for the Holy Spirit’s guidance. I recently went on a Vocation Retreat this past August with the Carmelite Sisters of the Divine Heart of Jesus in St. Louis, MO and found myself asking all sorts of questions. I did not think that their community was right for me, but I loved their apostolates. That’s when I decided that Jesus was trying to lead me to consider the cloistered lifestyle. I began to look into several different cloistered orders like Carmelites, Poor Clares, Cistercians, Benedictines, Dominicans, etc. but each time, I was led back to the Carmelites. I had a fear of being cloistered because I am claustrophobic and I wonder now if God was trying to test my vocation to see if I would follow Him in my weaknesses, as well. I guess I proved that I would because now I am being led back to the contemplative/active orders, specifically Franciscan.

I went on a spiritual retreat last week, where there was much Adoration, prayer, and Daily Mass. I could feel the Holy Spirit guiding me that weekend so I came right out and asked which order I was supposed to be looking at. That’s when my attraction to the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal reappeared. Early in my discernment, I was attracted to them and their charism. I found myself asking Jesus if this is what He wanted from me. I don’t think I was tuned in well enough yet because I couldn’t hear an answer so I took it to mean, “No.” Well, apparently, He wanted me to wait.

I have learned that discernment is all about patience, guidance, and PRAYER. Prayer is the most important thing! Patience and guidance will come to follow. Whenever I was doubtful of my vocation or had questions only Jesus could answer, I went to Adoration and Mass.

I don’t have a spiritual director. It’s not from a lack of trying, either. I have asked numerous people and have not found one. I contacted the Dominican sister that was recommended to me, but she still hasn’t said anything. So right now, I am using the Holy Spirit as my guide.

If you are contemplating two paths, just listen to your heart! Jesus always speaks to my heart, so I know He’ll speak to yours if you let Him. I look at this as a journey. Sure it’s confusing, but I wouldn’t give it up for anything. Each way that Jesus leads me down is a path that is so beautiful! It’s hard to be confused when you are so in love 👍
 
It’s difficult trying to tell whether or not there’s a difference between what will make you happy and what you think will make you happy!
 
LordNecro said:
It’s difficult trying to tell whether or not there’s a difference between what will make you happy and what you think will make you happy!
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That’s a good point. But, I think it’s important not to be looking for absolute certainty in the discernment process. I once heard a seminarian say that ordination is never guaranteed until you physically kneel before the bishop.

No matter what you do with your life you will look back and wonder how different things might have turned out had you made different choices. I think that ultimately it comes to a point where a decision has to be made. The question is, do you feel that you would regret that decision later in life?
 
LordNecro said:
What exactly are you guys doing in your discernment? What are you looking for?

I’m kind of contemplating two different routes and examining my interior reactions to either of them.
Click to expand...
Also, be careful about examining too much on your own interior reactions. I have done this before and found myself leaning towards abandoning my vocation. I actually abandoned discernment for a period of 3 months, and decided to resume after being unable to forget how my life was transformed when I was discerning and feeling like I was not doing what God was asking of me. Now I know, beyond a reasonable doubt, that I am called to be a Sister. Think what I would have missed if I had done my own will!

It’s important to not rely too much on your own conscience in this process. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you. If you are truly open to His work, you will not be let down. God bless you!
 
CarmeliteGirl25 said:
Also, be careful about examining too much on your own interior reactions. I have done this before and found myself leaning towards abandoning my vocation.
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I’m not questioning that your vocation is to what you say it is - but is leaning towards abandoning what you thought was your vocation so bad, if you feel that you are being led away from it?
 
LordNecro said:
I’m not questioning that your vocation is to what you say it is - but is leaning towards abandoning what you thought was your vocation so bad, if you feel that you are being led away from it?
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Nothing was making it bad, I just give up too easily sometimes. I still have the interior calling. I am not being led away from it either. I was sent a friend in those 3 months that I “abandoned” it, and felt God pushing me back to discernment. I discern by His Grace, because if I relied on my own determination, I would be finished by now. But it’s because of Him that I now want to be a Sister 👍
 
Pray, pray again, and pray some more. That’s been the key for me, although I’ve begun to open up more to some close and trusted friends which is a big help is discernment. Hearing words of encouragement from others can be a positive thing.
 
Prayer, Sacraments, and an open heart. And a spirituals is also of great benefit.

In Carmel,

Br. Allen
 
I have the same question. I pray often, I have a spiritual director, I go to weekly confession, I go to mass as much as possible, I try to be open, but beyond that, how can you know?
 
IrishDude45 said:
I have the same question. I pray often, I have a spiritual director, I go to weekly confession, I go to mass as much as possible, I try to be open, but beyond that, how can you know?
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In the end, it takes a leap of faith. Fear is one of the main hindrances to a religious vocation. Fear of taking that first step and approaching a vocations director or novice master. If you think you might be called to the religious life, I suggest starting the process if you are able. Family, school and financial obligations will have to be addressed. Like it’s said in here many times, a vocation is no place to hide. Just because you start the process does not commit you to seminary or to a community. If you feel you may not be called after all, it’s OK to say so. In fact, it would be much more damaging if you ignore such a sign. But, if you start the process and are at peace, you may have a legitimate calling. From there you should take the next step and then the next.
 
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