How do you hide fasting from others?

[hausofferni]

I have been fasting for a while now, but it’s getting more difficult to hide it from people, especially my parents. I do not want to tell anyone that I’m fasting because I know we shouldn’t and I don’t want to show off or seem prideful in anyway, but my mother worries as I go hours without eating and she always gives me money to buy food and I don’t. Am I disobeying her if I don’t buy food? And then sometimes I’m forced to eat and I feel bad because I break fast just because I don’t know how to tell others that I’m fasting. What should I do??

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

How old are you? How do you define “fasting”? Are you under the guidance of a spiritual director in taking this on?

In general, I would say that something you feel the need to hide – especially from your parents – is probably not something you should be doing.

 

[hausofferni]

How old are you? How do you define “fasting”? Are you under the guidance of a spiritual director in taking this on?

In general, I would say that something you feel the need to hide – especially from your parents – is probably not something you should be doing.

I am 18 and was not aware that I needed to be under guidance of a spiritual director.

 

[Jon_S_1]

I have been fasting for a while now, but it’s getting more difficult to hide it from people, especially my parents. I do not want to tell anyone that I’m fasting because I know we shouldn’t and I don’t want to show off or seem prideful in anyway, but my mother worries as I go hours without eating and she always gives me money to buy food and I don’t. Am I disobeying her if I don’t buy food? And then sometimes I’m forced to eat and I feel bad because I break fast just because I don’t know how to tell others that I’m fasting. What should I do??

You need to share with your parents. The fact your secretive worries me. It’s one thing but to brag. It’s another to be dishonest by omission.

Are you sure your fasting is being done healthily?

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

You didn’t say what “fasting” means to you. Does it mean not eating between meals? Skipping one or more meals a day? Skipping a particular food (no meat or no dessert)? Or something else?

Anything extreme should be done under the guidance of a spiritual director. I wouldn’t consider not eating between meals extreme, but at your age I would consider skipping meals to potentially be harmful.

I also think you should be up-front with your parents. This is not to say “oh look how holy I am because I’m fasting,” but rather to take ownership of what you’re doing. If your mother says “have a piece of cake, dear” and you’re not trying to keep a deep, dark secret you might simply say “no thanks, I’m skipping dessert as part of my Advent practice” or whatever is appropriate.

 

[phil19034]

We don’t have a fast is secret. That’s not what Jesus meant. When Jesus says to pray in private, etc you have to understand the context. He is telling people who would prayer publicly so people would see them pray publicly but then they would not pray any other time. They didn’t pray to have a closer relationship with God, they prayed so people would consider them holy.

That’s why Christ told THEM not everyone to pray in private.

The talk about fasting was in a similar context.

God Bless!

 

[Mary_Estelle]

There are times to fast within the Church calendar. There is a reason for fasting. If you are fasting ALL the time you need to speak to your priest and Doctor. I think of a medical condition Anorexia when I hear of this. A friends daughter died of this and her mother didn’t know what she was doing as her cloths hid her starvation until it was too late. Stop fasting for non-religious-spiritual reasons.

 

[hausofferni]

There are times to fast within the Church calendar. There is a reason for fasting. If you are fasting ALL the time you need to speak to your priest and Doctor. I think of a medical condition Anorexia when I hear of this. A friends daughter died of this and her mother didn’t know what she was doing as her cloths hid her starvation until it was too late. Stop fasting for non-religious-spiritual reasons.

I am not just fasting for the fun of it, I’m fasting for penance, and for other spiritual reasons, family oriented reasons.

 

[porthos11]

I am not just fasting for the fun of it, I’m fasting for penance, and for other spiritual reasons, family oriented reasons.

Your posting history shows a lot of “is this a sin” questions and other types that strongly indicate a propensity towards scrupulosity.

You should not be doing this kind of penance without the counsel of a spiritual director. For now, perform only the necessary penances required by the Church, i.e. Fridays, Lent, etc.

Stop it at once, and eat something.

 

[hausofferni]

Your posting history shows a lot of “is this a sin” questions and other types that strongly indicate a propensity towards scrupulosity.

You should not be doing this kind of penance without the counsel of a spiritual director. For now, perform only the necessary penances required by the Church, i.e. Fridays, Lent, etc.

Stop it at once, and eat something.

Ok I understand. Thank you, but how or where would I even find a spiritual director? Would I just go to my usual confessor and ask him??

 

[Allegra]

if you have to be deceptive about something, you probably shouldn’t be doing it.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

Ok I understand. Thank you, but how or where would I even find a spiritual director? Would I just go to my usual confessor and ask him??

That’s a good start. If he can’t do it, ask for recommendations.

 

[Pythagoras]

How old are you? How do you define “fasting”? Are you under the guidance of a spiritual director in taking this on?

In general, I would say that something you feel the need to hide – especially from your parents – is probably not something you should be doing.

Do Catholics taking fasting should be under the guidance of a spiritual director? I don’t think it is needed unless it is a very extreme fasting.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Do Catholics taking fasting should be under the guidance of a spiritual director? I don’t think it is needed unless it is a very extreme fasting.

The OP never clarified what he was doing. As I said upthread, something like skipping desserts is one thing. But an 18 year old who is regularly skipping meals is something else. Keeping it secret from his parents is also a red flag and makes it seem like it may be extreme.

 

[Catholic1954]

Ok I understand. Thank you, but how or where would I even find a spiritual director? Would I just go to my usual confessor and ask him??

Ask him first. If he can’t do it ask him to recommend someone. Be sure and tell him about your fasting and your problems with hiding it from your parents and friends; it sounds like an eating disorder and you are justifying it as a religious fast. If you are having family problems, prayer can be just as effective.

 

[Exiled_Child]

I have been fasting for a while now, but it’s getting more difficult to hide it from people, especially my parents. I do not want to tell anyone that I’m fasting because I know we shouldn’t and I don’t want to show off or seem prideful in anyway, but my mother worries as I go hours without eating and she always gives me money to buy food and I don’t. Am I disobeying her if I don’t buy food? And then sometimes I’m forced to eat and I feel bad because I break fast just because I don’t know how to tell others that I’m fasting. What should I do??

If you live at home with your folks it might be hard. If your naturally thin and a light eater just go with that. “No thanks, I’m not hungry…”

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

Ask him first. If he can’t do it ask him to recommend someone. Be sure and tell him about your fasting and your problems with hiding it from your parents and friends; it sounds like an eating disorder and you are justifying it as a religious fast. If you are having family problems, prayer can be just as effective.

It doesn’t sound like an eating disorder. It sounds like he’s trying to fast, but doesn’t want people to know he’s fasting, which is understandable. Many of the saints were the same way.

 

[thistle]

The OP never clarified what he was doing. As I said upthread, something like skipping desserts is one thing. But an 18 year old who is regularly skipping meals is something else. Keeping it secret from his parents is also a red flag and makes it seem like it may be extreme.

I agree. Such a person should first consult with their doctor and then with their priest/spiritual director.