How do you know if you have forgiven?

[aine]

Hi there,

Can anyone offer suggestions… how can you tell if you have forgiven someone honestly or not? My friend and i had this huge fight and now we just avoid eachother, i guess that the friendship has ended (which cuts me up inside because i loved her like a sister), but i was told by someone else that i havent forgiven her and that God will not forgive me (and that i am a horrible, horrible person)…

My question is should you forgive someone just because the bible says you should… because then arent you are really doing it for the wrong reasons? But if you dont forgive others then you wont be forgive by God…

its really confusing. Some days i think i have forgiven her but then other days i think about it and i get upset and angry and i guess that i havent. How do i discern if i have or havent truly forgiven her? Any ideas!??! Please?!?!

Love,
~Aine

 

[Chickamauga]

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventyseven times. - Matthew 18:21-22 NIV

Forgiveness isn’t a one-time thing, but a process. It takes time and patience. Jesus said to forgive seventy-seven times, or seventy times seven as some translations put it.

 

[jman507]

Forgive her, if for an instant you feel you might not have forgiven her, do it again. If it seems fake, ask God to give you the grace to do so. If your trying I’m sure God will be most pleased. And here kinda lays a paradox, yes you are a horrible person. But once you figure that out, you can ask for God for forgiveness. Let him free you so you can focus on who you should be. You’ll fall, but there’ll still be the confessional. So rejoice no matter how horrible you are, keeping God by your side, he will always be able to outdo any of your horribleness.

The main reason to forgive, is because right now you do yourself no good. If you don’t forgive, you harm yourself more than the other person. There is a lot of anger and bitterness, and the heart gets colder. Is that the person you want to be? Or would you rather feel the joy that this life can offer? So don’t dwell on those feelings of hate towards another.