K
KCT
Guest
It is hard. But it would be even HARDER later if you married her (and had kids).
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S
shannyk
Guest
bulldawg, a very good, mature, decision that you will NOT live to regret mark my words.I am leaving her. But its so hard. I dont want her to be hurt. And There are things I will miss about her. I am deleteing anything that has to do with her. And its so hard because I keep remembering how it was when we first met and I thought she was diffrant.
YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!
Do you know how many women there are out there who are praying for a guy with your level of integrity and sense of morals? Many. You will someday be very glad you left this relationship.
C
chevalier
Guest
When you can’t imagine being married to that person, then it’s most probably time to quit - or at least do some serious thinking.How do you know when you need to run from a relationship?
Edit: I’ve read your post where you detailed the story. It makes me sad because she does seem to behave like a victim of abuse. The forcing that wasn’t forced but the guy, “would have become hurt,” or she thought she had to turn you on to please you and make you happy. It looks like she’s seeing her value in sex only or at least seeing herself largely from that perspective. She needs help, she needs therapy. The lying would be connected with this. She’s not a wife a material at this stage. Not a girlfriend material, either. She needs therapy. Doesn’t mean you have to give up on her, but definitely means she needs help.
V
vocatio
Guest
Bulldawg,
It sounds like your leaving would be the right thing. The things you’ve said point to the need to look elsewhere’s if your bent on marriage one day. Sad. My wife was in fact abused in her youth. But I didn’t realize how bad it was but realized that something wasn’t right almost immediately after we married. Going in on the 3rd and 4th years of marriage made me wonder if she really ever was “open” to marriage… I’m still dealing with all of her issues from way back and have never sought advice for it trying to act like the strong saved fundamental evangelical I was back then. 2 years ago we all converted, I reverted, to Catholicism for dogmatic reasons realizing the Church is real. As much as I love my wife I wouldn’t want someone else to make the choices I made and have to endure this kind of hardship. It gets very lonely and frustrating at times. Actually over the past 2 years our relationship has been blosseming. She closed herself off from children…that hurt.
It sounds like your leaving would be the right thing. The things you’ve said point to the need to look elsewhere’s if your bent on marriage one day. Sad. My wife was in fact abused in her youth. But I didn’t realize how bad it was but realized that something wasn’t right almost immediately after we married. Going in on the 3rd and 4th years of marriage made me wonder if she really ever was “open” to marriage… I’m still dealing with all of her issues from way back and have never sought advice for it trying to act like the strong saved fundamental evangelical I was back then. 2 years ago we all converted, I reverted, to Catholicism for dogmatic reasons realizing the Church is real. As much as I love my wife I wouldn’t want someone else to make the choices I made and have to endure this kind of hardship. It gets very lonely and frustrating at times. Actually over the past 2 years our relationship has been blosseming. She closed herself off from children…that hurt.
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