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pianistclare
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No worries. That’s the nature of this beast called the interwebs…LOL
I have a similar gut reaction to the disingenuous “God bless” after rants. I totally get where you’re coming from. Can I call you friend?
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I have a similar gut reaction to the disingenuous “God bless” after rants. I totally get where you’re coming from. Can I call you friend?
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Pax2u
Guest
Anyone who loves Ireland, plays the piano, and cares about the Church is most certainly my friend!!!No worries. That’s the nature of this beast called the interwebs…LOL
I have a similar gut reaction to the disingenuous “God bless” after rants. I totally get where you’re coming from. Can I call you friend?
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pianistclare
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:flowers:
Alrighty then…enough of these niceties…let’s go back to gripin! :compcoff:
Just kidding.
Sorry to derail the thread guys…but hey, we made new friends!
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MarkInOregon
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Your absolutely right–I would never be questioned about it and that seems like a double standard to me and one that is wrong.
I am confused by your response to my post though–but then I can be a little thick at times.
I commented that 1.) I didn’t view her posts as angry ( though I might view some of the responses to her as a little angry at her view point and then see her as a little defensive in response), 2.) I commented that I thought the reason we are away might matter–i.e. that there is a difference and 3.) I finished by commenting that we are all different and offered how I feel personally which is different from a lot of people I know. I am confused as to how this made the issue about a night with the boys or daddy roles and why it was funny–call me dense.
Personally I’m all for a night away from the kids now and then, but I’m not a big fan of no kid vacations–but then I didn’t grow up with them, and currently our vacation usually involves my parents, sisters, aunt, uncle, cousins and their kids – most of whom are in their 20’s–and who have fought to keep this annual family vacation going, and it would be my hope that when they are married and start having children that they continue to come and that another generation will grow up vacationing together. That said I also think that each family must find what works for them–as everyones family dynamic is different.
The peace of Christ,
Mark
The peace of Christ,
Mark
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MarkInOregon
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Xantippe
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A possible reason for a mom/dad difference with regard to away trips is that if mom is a SAHM or works only part-time, she spends a lot more time with the kids than dad does and does not have built-in “away” time from business trips.
It’s easier to love people when we don’t have to be around them all the time.
It’s easier to love people when we don’t have to be around them all the time.
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MarkInOregon
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Where are all the people on this thread who are piling on the guilt? To my reckoning there is one poster who says she does’t understand it and acknowledges that it might be because of the culture she was raised in and most on the thread (to my reading) have been rather hard on her for expressing that view and have rather strenuously defended the taking of more than one night, more than once a decade for a trip with their girl friends. And from what I see in popular culture most people seem to view these trips as normal and healthy. The title of this thread deals with “no-kid” vacations–what you describe above regarding your family is not a “no-kid” vacation. It was a trip with kids–visiting parents/grandparents. That’s not mom and dad dropping the kids off–with grandparents and slipping off to Maui for a week. I make no judgments about that–I’m just pointing out that it is different from what you describe.
And you’re right a family is not a chain gang. My wife and I chose each other, we chose to have children, we love each other and our children and we choose to do things together. Members of a chain gang don’t choose each other and they are forced to do things together–they may even hate each other. I think those of us on these forums who are Christian would say that we love Christ–but I doubt any of us would say we need time away from Christ so that we can hang out with our friends. I feel the same way about my family. It doesn’t mean that we don’t end up spending time apart–i.e. my wife might visit her parents when I can’t get time off, etc. but for me it means that I don’t desire to get away from my wife or kids for a golf weekend, or a hunting trip or whatever with the guys. Perhaps desire is not the correct word to use and implies something I don’t intend. I like to see old friends but I don’t like to do it at the expense of extended time away from my wife and children. I realize I am in the minority on this, and that is fine–this is what works for me and my family–everyone needs to find what works for them and their family. Love can manifest itself in more than one form–perhaps we can all realize that and let families adapt and do what works for them without getting defensive and feeling a need to justify what works for our different families? I’ve shared what works for us and that should not be taken to imply that it is anybetter than what works for other families.
The peace of Christ,
Mark
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Xantippe
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Xantippe
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The Maui trip sounds awesome.
I’m currently collecting ideas for our 20th anniversary in 4 years and we’ve already booked my in-laws to take the kids. If this works, it will literally be the first time that all of the kids have been away from us overnight ever. (We’ve had grandma and grandpa take the kids one at a time to their hotel room, but never all of the kids.) We’ve never done an overnight “away” trip from our kids as we’ve never had the option. All the grandmas and grandpas live 2,000 miles away, so the kids see them each at most about a week a year.
Current favorite for the 20th anniversary trip: Quebec City.
quebecregion.com/en/
Other possibilities (but probably less budget friendly): Paris or Prague.
I can’t even remember the last time my husband and I had a sitter and went out to a movie or dinner–it’s been at least several years now (4 or 5?).
I don’t know how big your kids are, but eventually you go a little stir crazy when trapped in a single setting.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stir_crazy_(condition
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MarkInOregon
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I fully acknowledge that I may be missing something but what you describe regarding the momosphere and total sacrifice from the mother–is not something my wife and I observe in the people we know. I see a lot of parents who I think over schedule their kids and give them no time to be kids, but I also see a lot of the no-kid vacations with these same parents. But as you say – as a guy I may well be missing something.
I’m not sure I read the one posters posts the same way you did. I’m not sure her view is as extreme as you seem to make it–at least as I read them.
We just celebrated our 25th and we went out to dinner. I can’t remember the last time we were away overnight together without the kids. Only one comes to mind when our oldest was about a year old. That may have been it.
Our children are spaced out rather widely–oldest is 24 and the youngest just turned 7. We have just started to occasionally slip out for a dinner or a glass of wine alone. I couldn’t tell you what the last movie we went to see alone was–it has been probably 15 years–too expensive and not much that we’d want to see. I guess we’ve always been home bodies and grew up with families that did things as families and that has continued for us with our own family. I always figured that we’d have plenty of alone time once the kids were grown–though looking at how old I am going to be when the youngest graduates from high school–I may have figured wrong
We each get our moments of free time–I guess we just haven’t needed as much as some others to avoid going stir crazy. The last couple of years we’ve started taking a walk at night after the youngest two are in bed–with a high schooler at home we have that luxury and it gives us time alone out of the house. With our children widely spaced we may have had an advantage over parents whose children are close together–as we had older kids who could stay with the younger ones–which would allow us to slip out together even if only to go grocery shopping–it was still time alone together.I do think that our cultures messages have something to with how we all feel about staying home with the kids and not getting “our” time. The pope in his recent apostolic exhortation makes some interesting observations regarding parents and children but I don’t have those handy to share unfortunately.
I wish you well planning your 20th and hope it all works out so that you can get away. It sounds like a fun trip.
The peace of Christ,
Mark
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Joe_5859
Guest
I know my wife always had a hard time leaving the kids at that age, even when I would try to encourage her to take advantage of opportunities for her to have some time away.
I would say your husband can handle the kids for a weekend.
I would happily do that for my wife.If you’re cutting your anniversary plans short for Fantasy Football, he owes you.
Don’t let him tell you otherwise. 
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