How do you politely blow off a salesperson who is your friend?

[newf]

LSK has some good advice.

I recommend you use email to send her LSK’s words:

“I am not interested in having any more information about the products you are selling. Thank you so much for including me, but for now I am not interested in being a regular customer. If my situation changes, I will contact you.”

Then you don’t have to actually talk to her while still getting the message across.

 

[marybee]

Maybe you dont realize how arrogant you sound. Do you think everything revolves around your hubbys decent income? Give me a break! Maybe she is just trying to become better friends with you and pay off her debts this way so that she can be with her kids more. I think you need not be so narcissistic!

 

[Joan_M]

Maybe you dont realize how arrogant you sound. Do you think everything revolves around your hubbys decent income? Give me a break! Maybe she is just trying to become better friends with you and pay off her debts this way so that she can be with her kids more. I think you need not be so narcissistic!

Marybee, you are extremely rude. The OP is neither being arrogant nor narcissistic.

Kindly refrain from such insulting remarks.

The OP’s friend has crossed the friendship line by being pushy, and the OP is having difficulty in laying down that line because she has difficulty in saying “no” in no uncertain terms without breaking the friendship. Perhaps it was never a true friendship, but something cultivated just for the opportunity to sell?

 

[Brenda_V]

Maybe you dont realize how arrogant you sound. Do you think everything revolves around your hubbys decent income? Give me a break! Maybe she is just trying to become better friends with you and pay off her debts this way so that she can be with her kids more. I think you need not be so narcissistic!

Whoa there! As a direct sales person I understand the ideas you are presenting but our OP was just pointing out how she has no desire for the products her aquaintance is trying to sell even though she has the money to do so! What good is money spent on a product you leave on the shelf?

Leslie has some great ideas for you to use - I would suggest that you use the “I am not interested in having any more information about the products you are selling. Thank you so much for including me, but for now I am not interested in being a regular customer. If my situation changes, I will contact you.” in an e-mail like newf suggested but I would add “if I get another e-mail from you other than an “okay” or about our daughter’s and cheerleading I will put you in my “ignore” box and no longer have to even delete your e-mails”.

I have had people tell me this and to tell you the truth, my feelings are far from hurt and if they are a friend, we have continued with our friendship.

I will re-iterate my point of when she asks why you don’t want to sell you can just tell her “I don’t know”, that allows her nothing to combat, no way for her to try and “sell you on selling”. My husband has used this tactic on salesmen in the past and it is really interesting to see them trying to come up with a reason, he just kept saying “I don’t know” and they eventually stopped, much sooner than if he had said “no thank you”.

Now, Leslie, can I interest you in some skin care? It doesn’t cost much and you only need four products, maybe five . You’re sure you don’t want any, really? I can’t believe you don’t, every woman wants to at the very least moisturize her face (oh, wait, I only use a moisturizer maybe four or five days out of the week and I sell the stuff!)

This discussion makes me think of another topic - how do we as Direct Sales people keep our businesses going without leadng others into the sin of spending too much money? Do you all think that would be a good topic for a new thread? I know I have dropped a customer or two because I knew they didn’t have the money to spend on some of the things they would buy from me - I didn’t want to feel guilty about taking their milk money from them in order for them to fill this desire for “stuff”.

Brenda V.

 

[3boyzmom]

I like the idea of replying to her e-mail with a direct message that you are not a potential client or salesperson. Tell her that you value friendship, and if she wants to contact you for friendly conversation about anything OTHER than her business, you will be happy to see her, but that you really need for her to understand that it is counterproductive for her to try to sell you anything else. I doubt you’ll have to worry much about seeing her at all, since she seems to be so focused on chasing possible income.

She may be having financial trouble but alienating everyone around her is not the way to solve the problems. Just the opposite- if she weren’t so pushy you and others would probably be more likely to buy something “occasionally.”

I used a few M.K. products a few years ago. I bought one item from a lady because she was really nice and I felt like I wanted to “help her out”- the product was OK, but I didn’t feel inclined to collect products. She put my name on a tickler file and called me every 3 months, but ALL she asked was “This is so-and-so, and I just wanted to see if you need anything.” I would rarely buy something, but most of the time I’d say “not right now, thanks” and she’d cheerfully say “OK, you have my number if you need anything!” And if I’d see her in public she NEVER tried to sell, just had a friendly chat about kids, weather, etc. I can honestly say that if I ever DO want any more of these products, she would be the person I’d call. I think she actually does pretty well with her business because she’s friendly, sweet, available but not pushy. If she’s not successful----- well at least people still like her!

 

[Princess_Abby]

Maybe you dont realize how arrogant you sound. Do you think everything revolves around your hubbys decent income? Give me a break! Maybe she is just trying to become better friends with you and pay off her debts this way so that she can be with her kids more. I think you need not be so narcissistic!

Since when is it the OP’s responsibility to pay off the debts of her irresponsible friend? No one has an obligation to buy products they aren’t interested in simply because they have the means to do so.

You might also double-check the definition of narcissim. I don’t see how it would include the OP speculating about the motivation behind her friend’s invasive tactics. It’s very reasonable for one to draw the conclusion she has–which is that her husband’s job/income makes her a target for one sales pitch after another from an over-eager rep. It’s far more narcissistic for the friend to expect the OP to buy her products simply because the friend ‘needs’ the money to pay off debt that she chose to create.

To the OP–my husband’s aunt is all about railroading people into buying her clothing from a boutique where she moonlights as a quasi “stylist.” I entertained this once, like you, and bought a few pieces I genuinely liked but most of it was not my style and I told her as such. It was also highly expensive. She pushed and shoved at me, but I just kept repeating the same phrase: Thank you, I enjoyed our session, but I have all the clothes I need right now. …I think I repeated this no less then ten times before she finally got the hint, and this was over a six month time period. I was buying clothes from other places, which she would point out, but I would just cock my head and look at her as if I were highly confused why she would be inquiring about my purchasing habits, then repeat the same phrase back to her. It’s not fun, but it works…eventually, even for the thick-headed. Go with direct and straightforward but keep it simple. That way they don’t have excuses in which to launch a rebuttal.

 

[marybee]

You might want to double check the definition of “princess”

 

[Bruised_Reed]

You might want to double check the definition of “princess”

Just for the heck of it did “double check” the definition and I dn’t see any problems with Princess Abby’s use of “princess”.

Back to the topic…I get emails, the Look book, and sales flyers from MK consultants. I like looking at the Look Book but I can ignore them much like junk mail esp. the emails. Perhaps the OP sees an obligation to respond to it like regular correspondance which adds to the frustration. Ignoring (or tossing) these things isn’t rude. At all. The MK person is doing what she is supposed to do: advertising. However, if I was getting regular phone calls or one-on-one lunch date ambush invites I would probably need to be more direct. I don’t know if the OP needs to “grow a spine” or just needs to take emails and brochures less seriously than a Christmas card or wedding invitation.

Consider that she is being encouraged to do this by her higher-up, who may be more experienced and more savvy. If the higher-up saw what was going on she might suggest backing off. If she’s new she’s learning; I know they are told to sell to friends and family. She may have gotten pressured or persuaded into selling with the promise of rewards (like the pink SUV) and is desperate to prove herself. Stick to your guns. It’s her bed.

 

[didymus]

This past summer, my daughter started taking cheerleading for our town’s youth football program. I made friends with one of the moms there, and she seems like she is a really good person.

Problem? She was divorced 3 years ago, and recently remarried in May. Together, her and her husband have 4 children, and are trying to climb their way out of serious debt. She has quit her job and started selling cosmetics for a well known worldwide company (ahem…the initials are M. K. ).

What do I do? What could I say to her and still be polite? I don’t want to block her address, to me that would seem rude. HELP!!!

Once someone tries to sell you something your obligation to be polite ends. In future, if somebody tries to sell you MK (or the other one) just go to pieces and say, “I couldn’t possibly! Do you know how they test their products? They blind little kittens!”

Years ago one of my nastier co-workers pulled this on another who was so distraught she was ready to quit selling the stuff.

 

[Ferdinand_Mary]

Thank you to all who participated, but due to the declining charity level this thread is now closed.

Mane Nobiscum Domine,
Ferdinand Mary