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Feanaro_s_Wife
Guest
Just curious how your(pregnant ladies) husbands handle your mood swings, irritation, weird crying episodes and the occasional harsh thing the hormones make you say to him…
Malia
Malia
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Rob_s_Wife
Guest
**I’m NOT hormonal, just because he’s ticking me off! He knows how irritating it is when he doesn’t put the pillows on the bed right!
**
**Oh no! Is that a signal that he thinks I’ve become a disgusting pregnant mess? It’s 'cause I’m getting fat isn’t it?:crying: **
**I’m NOT fat! I’m pregnant! And it’s ALL HIS FAULT, so he’s got no one to blame but himself for this mess he’s made of me.
**
**Oh we’re having another girl! Let’s go buy something pink! :dancing: **
Oh my gosh! I’m going to have 8 CHILDREN in this 1000sq ft house! **How did this happen?! I’m not old enough for this yet am I? Oh my gosh, when did I get old? **I’ve got to get this place clean and organized NOW!
Just look at that grout in the shower?! Is that the kind of filth you want to bring your baby daughter home to?! I think it needs re-grouting. That’s easy isn’t it? And while we’re doing that we might as well paint. I need a carpet shampooer… Yeah, I know it’s new carpet, but still… she’ll be crawling around down there in no time… Oh! I need to reorganize the closets… :bounce:
(All this typing as dh lays exhausted in bed after painting, grouting, and installing a new light fixture in the bathroom, which needed done because we hope to sell this place after the baby comes. )
Really though.
**Usually, my dh just goes with the flow and doesn’t seem too bothered by anything I do these days. Of course, he’s quite experienced by now. I have to mention that he’s one of those men who likes to “take care of” his wife anyhow. **
Personally, I don’t think I get the “swings” that bad. Mostly, I just kind of freak out and clean/organize like crazy - extreme nesting. But that’s what I do anytime I get upset pregnant or not - I have to “do” something, anything, and there’s always work to be done somewhere to give me an outlet for it.
****Oh no! Is that a signal that he thinks I’ve become a disgusting pregnant mess? It’s 'cause I’m getting fat isn’t it?:crying: **
**I’m NOT fat! I’m pregnant! And it’s ALL HIS FAULT, so he’s got no one to blame but himself for this mess he’s made of me.
****Oh we’re having another girl! Let’s go buy something pink! :dancing: **
Oh my gosh! I’m going to have 8 CHILDREN in this 1000sq ft house! **How did this happen?! I’m not old enough for this yet am I? Oh my gosh, when did I get old? **I’ve got to get this place clean and organized NOW!
Just look at that grout in the shower?! Is that the kind of filth you want to bring your baby daughter home to?! I think it needs re-grouting. That’s easy isn’t it? And while we’re doing that we might as well paint. I need a carpet shampooer… Yeah, I know it’s new carpet, but still… she’ll be crawling around down there in no time… Oh! I need to reorganize the closets… :bounce:(All this typing as dh lays exhausted in bed after painting, grouting, and installing a new light fixture in the bathroom, which needed done because we hope to sell this place after the baby comes. )
Really though.
**Usually, my dh just goes with the flow and doesn’t seem too bothered by anything I do these days. Of course, he’s quite experienced by now. I have to mention that he’s one of those men who likes to “take care of” his wife anyhow. **
Personally, I don’t think I get the “swings” that bad. Mostly, I just kind of freak out and clean/organize like crazy - extreme nesting. But that’s what I do anytime I get upset pregnant or not - I have to “do” something, anything, and there’s always work to be done somewhere to give me an outlet for it.
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Consecrated
Guest
Rob’s Wife said:**I’m NOT hormonal, just because he’s ticking me off! He knows how irritating it is when he doesn’t put the pillows on the bed right!
**Oh no! Is that a signal that he thinks I’ve become a disgusting pregnant mess? It’s 'cause I’m getting fat isn’t it?:crying: **
I’m NOT fat! I’m pregnant! And it’s ALL HIS FAULT, so he’s got no one to blame but himself for this mess he’s made of me.
**Oh we’re having another girl! Let’s go buy something pink! :dancing: **
Oh my gosh! I’m going to have 8 CHILDREN in this 1000sq ft house! **How did this happen?! I’m not old enough for this yet am I? Oh my gosh, when did I get old? **I’ve got to get this place clean and organized NOW!
This is hilarious! Thanks for the chuckle!My precious husband is excited about having more children (we only have 2 so far), but I think he’s dreading the mood swings. Which seem perfectly reasonable to me at the time, but looking back on them, I feel very sorry for him, as he bears the brunt of the unreasonable, irrational, totally confusing things I say and do.
Although, I just had an ectopic pregnancy/miscarriage in the past month or two,
and I’m an emotional basket case, so I think at this point mere pregnancy mood swings are looking like a walk in the park! I know they are to me.
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Ana
Guest
Although, I just had an ectopic pregnancy/miscarriage in the past month or two,
and I’m an emotional basket case, so I think at this point mere pregnancy mood swings are looking like a walk in the park! I know they are to me.I am so sorry for your loss. I would like to reciprocate the gesture you made to me over on another thread, and pray that our Blessed Mother will lead you through this trial with the graces she displayed, some that can only be earned through the heaviest of crosses. May her comfort and consolation come quickly to you, as you learn how to allow God to use this trial to let His light shine even more brightly through you.
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Ana
Guest
Rob’s Wife said:**I’m NOT hormonal, just because he’s ticking me off! He knows how irritating it is when he doesn’t put the pillows on the bed right!
**Oh no! Is that a signal that he thinks I’ve become a disgusting pregnant mess? It’s 'cause I’m getting fat isn’t it?:crying: **
**I’m NOT fat! I’m pregnant! And it’s ALL HIS FAULT, so he’s got no one to blame but himself for this mess he’s made of me.
**Oh we’re having another girl! Let’s go buy something pink! :dancing: **
Oh my gosh! I’m going to have 8 CHILDREN in this 1000sq ft house! **How did this happen?! I’m not old enough for this yet am I? Oh my gosh, when did I get old? **I’ve got to get this place clean and organized NOW!
(All this typing as dh lays exhausted in bed after painting, grouting, and installing a new light fixture in the bathroom, which needed done because we hope to sell this place after the baby comes. )
Really though.
**Usually, my dh just goes with the flow and doesn’t seem too bothered by anything I do these days. Of course, he’s quite experienced by now. I have to mention that he’s one of those men who likes to “take care of” his wife anyhow. **
Personally, I don’t think I get the “swings” that bad. Mostly, I just kind of freak out and clean/organize like crazy - extreme nesting. But that’s what I do anytime I get upset pregnant or not - I have to “do” something, anything, and there’s always work to be done somewhere to give me an outlet for it.
You have described this phenomena PERFECTLY!!
I have found with this child (#4), that the mood swings are a little less intense, due to experience, and that the nesting becomes more intense.
C
Consecrated
Guest
Thank you so much.
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Feanaro_s_Wife
Guest
Thanks for the laugh Rob’s Wife.
I am so sorry for your loss and struggles Consecrated.
Now, here is my problem and I hope to hear back some good, honest, Catholic advice and opinions…
When I am feeling irritable or moody my hubby gets the same way. He mirrors what I am doing/feeling. Now, in my defense, I have to say I have been really great in this (my first) pregnancy so far. I think I had more irrational moodiness with PMS every month, lol.
But this is making things very difficult in our relationship. I need him to be my rock, my strength when I am weak. But I don’t know how to communicate this to him. Whenever I try it turns into a big thing where we end up getting so upset we can’t be in the same room. This can’t be good for our marriage, the pregnancy, or for the little one…
So please, if you ladies have husbands who can just let your moodiness roll off their backs and not take it personally I’d love to know how they do it!
**Just so this doesn’t sound as bad as I’ve probably let it, my husband is a great guy, great husband, and will be an amazing father. He is always there when I need his help and makes many sacrifices because of my poor health. **
But this problem is killing us. What should be a moment of irrationality that could eventually be laughed at turns into a marital problem. Help!!!
malia
I am so sorry for your loss and struggles Consecrated.
Now, here is my problem and I hope to hear back some good, honest, Catholic advice and opinions…
When I am feeling irritable or moody my hubby gets the same way. He mirrors what I am doing/feeling. Now, in my defense, I have to say I have been really great in this (my first) pregnancy so far. I think I had more irrational moodiness with PMS every month, lol.
But this is making things very difficult in our relationship. I need him to be my rock, my strength when I am weak. But I don’t know how to communicate this to him. Whenever I try it turns into a big thing where we end up getting so upset we can’t be in the same room. This can’t be good for our marriage, the pregnancy, or for the little one…
So please, if you ladies have husbands who can just let your moodiness roll off their backs and not take it personally I’d love to know how they do it!
**Just so this doesn’t sound as bad as I’ve probably let it, my husband is a great guy, great husband, and will be an amazing father. He is always there when I need his help and makes many sacrifices because of my poor health. **
But this problem is killing us. What should be a moment of irrationality that could eventually be laughed at turns into a marital problem. Help!!!
malia
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mikew262
Guest
They pray!!
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Feanaro_s_Wife
Guest
Who prays?They pray!!
You mean the hubby’s dealing with irrational pregnant wives? I know my husband prays (as do I) but I doubt he’s thinking of God at the time he is having tantrum in reaction to one of my tantrums…Malia
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mikew262
Guest
Feanaro’s Wife said:Who prays?
Malia
The husband. Yes, I’m being a smarty pants.
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Feanaro_s_Wife
Guest
**You should know better than to confuse a pregnant woman:tsktsk: **The husband. Yes, I’m being a smarty pants.
**LOL.
**Malia
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Princess_Abby
Guest
My husband has a phrase he uses which generally melts my anger or frustration away rather quickly. After letting me sound off for awhile, he’ll sort of glance at me offhandedly during my little tantrum and say, “You just need to be loved.” I don’t know if he’s made some sort of internal decision to not respond to my antics when I’m having a ‘moment’ but it does work. I then usually let him hug me out of my little attitude problem and we talk. And the phrase is actually correct–usually I’m feeling insecure or need reassurance.
On the few occasions where I’ve pushed him a little too far and he responds to my tantrum with anger of his own, it’s usually helpful for ME to use the…“well, I can see YOU just need to be loved!” phrase that makes him at least crack a half-smile. Can you and your hubby come up with a phrase that let’s you both know that this fight is a tad ridiculous and maybe you can take a break from speaking for a moment and agree to either discuss later or drop it altogether (if not important)?
I have also tried to catch myself in the moment and say, okay am I really upset about something valid or am I being hormonal? This has stopped MANY a ‘feeling’ from escalating into an issue. If I say something rude or nasty, my husband will also stop in mid-sentence or pause for a moment and give me a rather puzzled, assessing look–since normally I’m a nice wife, lol–to see where in the world my comment or reaction is coming from. That has also been a cue for me to ask myself why I just said something like that and an opportunity to apologize and get over it.
Anyway, that’s kind of how it goes at our house!
On the few occasions where I’ve pushed him a little too far and he responds to my tantrum with anger of his own, it’s usually helpful for ME to use the…“well, I can see YOU just need to be loved!” phrase that makes him at least crack a half-smile. Can you and your hubby come up with a phrase that let’s you both know that this fight is a tad ridiculous and maybe you can take a break from speaking for a moment and agree to either discuss later or drop it altogether (if not important)?
I have also tried to catch myself in the moment and say, okay am I really upset about something valid or am I being hormonal? This has stopped MANY a ‘feeling’ from escalating into an issue. If I say something rude or nasty, my husband will also stop in mid-sentence or pause for a moment and give me a rather puzzled, assessing look–since normally I’m a nice wife, lol–to see where in the world my comment or reaction is coming from. That has also been a cue for me to ask myself why I just said something like that and an opportunity to apologize and get over it.
Anyway, that’s kind of how it goes at our house!
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Mercy_Alvarenga
Guest
My husband and I wrote to each other every day during the last six months of my pregnancy because he was out of the country at the time. So he didn’t really experience the full brunt of my pregnancy moods. Which, by the way, included such behavior as bursting into tears while in the drive-through at Wendy’s “…because the line is too slow!!!” :crying:
But anyhow, when I would try to write about my irritations they would seem so silly to me once I saw them in print, I would laugh at myself and immediately erase them. And what little irritation did reach my husband, he was at his leisure to think up loving, caring responses.
You might be able to use his “mirroring” of your feelings to the advantage of both of you. You might not be able to stop from blurting out those harsh things (at least not right away) but you can apologize as soon as you realize that what you did was not right. Ultimately it’s all up to his own free-will to choose whether to strive for sanctity in how he responds to you, but you can make that choice easier for him if he sees that you’re always trying to better your own behavior.
As for crying… I’m not really prone to severe hormonal mood swings, but I tend to cry when I get overly-tired. Sometimes my husband just needs to be reassured that I’m not crying because of him and I don’t need him to fix anything. I used to say, “Just hug me for a minute, ok?” and now he just knows what to do. It used to be really unsatisfying to me that I had to spell out my needs, but it sure paid off.
But anyhow, when I would try to write about my irritations they would seem so silly to me once I saw them in print, I would laugh at myself and immediately erase them. And what little irritation did reach my husband, he was at his leisure to think up loving, caring responses.
You might be able to use his “mirroring” of your feelings to the advantage of both of you. You might not be able to stop from blurting out those harsh things (at least not right away) but you can apologize as soon as you realize that what you did was not right. Ultimately it’s all up to his own free-will to choose whether to strive for sanctity in how he responds to you, but you can make that choice easier for him if he sees that you’re always trying to better your own behavior.
As for crying… I’m not really prone to severe hormonal mood swings, but I tend to cry when I get overly-tired. Sometimes my husband just needs to be reassured that I’m not crying because of him and I don’t need him to fix anything. I used to say, “Just hug me for a minute, ok?” and now he just knows what to do. It used to be really unsatisfying to me that I had to spell out my needs, but it sure paid off.
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Rob_s_Wife
Guest
Sometimes you just gotta tell it like it is. He may be more upset over thinking your irritated with him than that you’re irritated. Personally, my dh doesn’t mind me being cranky as long as it’s not his fault.
My dh will give me a kicked dog look and ask point blank, “What did I do!? and What can I do to make everything all okay?!” A very sweet way of saying I’ve gone off the deep end and it’s freaking him out a bit.
Usually this is where I get to be honest and just tell him the truth: I’m having a preggo moment and it’s his fault and I’m working on getting past it and it’d help if he’d __ or leave me alone.
That or he’ll just tell me to go to my/our room and rest for a minute in peave and quiet. I think he think’s I don’t know I’m being put in timeout just because he says it in such a loving-taking-care-of-my-wife tone. It’s his way of offering a loving hint that I’m driving him nuts.
My dh will give me a kicked dog look and ask point blank, “What did I do!? and What can I do to make everything all okay?!” A very sweet way of saying I’ve gone off the deep end and it’s freaking him out a bit.
Usually this is where I get to be honest and just tell him the truth: I’m having a preggo moment and it’s his fault and I’m working on getting past it and it’d help if he’d __ or leave me alone.
That or he’ll just tell me to go to my/our room and rest for a minute in peave and quiet. I think he think’s I don’t know I’m being put in timeout just because he says it in such a loving-taking-care-of-my-wife tone. It’s his way of offering a loving hint that I’m driving him nuts.
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anna1978
Guest
Somehow, when I’m pregnant, my hormones ‘level out’ and according to dh I’m a ‘lot nicer’ I only get ratty and horrible during the last month or so, when I can’t see my shoes and can’t sleep…
Anna x
I only get ratty and horrible during the last month or so, when I can’t see my shoes and can’t sleep…Anna x
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puzzleannie
Guest
If they don’t cover this in marriage prep or NFP classes they should, give the poor guys a chance. I do remember my dad speaking to us 6 kids as my mother entered menopause, explaining that sometimes she might seem moody, cranky, and that we must be patient and understanding, not aggravate her etc., then he raised his voice and said, “and I give her 6 months to get over it!”
DH used to give me “time-outs” when I got hormonal, he would turn down the bed, fix me a cup of tea, turn on some music, and shut me in the bedroom and take the kids out to do yardwork or play softball. Also the kitchen would be clean when I woke up or emerged from the room. what a sweetie. My daugters will still say, “Mom, take your meds” when I go postal.
DH used to give me “time-outs” when I got hormonal, he would turn down the bed, fix me a cup of tea, turn on some music, and shut me in the bedroom and take the kids out to do yardwork or play softball. Also the kitchen would be clean when I woke up or emerged from the room. what a sweetie. My daugters will still say, “Mom, take your meds” when I go postal.
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