How does divorce from my Ex wife causes her to commit Adultery

[shaky]

My Ex wife went off with another bloke and is committing Adultery with him. 3 years later while she is still committing Adultery with him i put in for a divorce and got the divorce.
I have not caused her to commit Adultery.

 

[DaveBj]

If you are referring to Jesus’ statement that a man who divorces his wife causes her to commit adultery, that statement was made under different societal conditions, and it does not apply today in its strict literal meaning. In those days a woman who was not connected to a family had no means of support. Therefore, if a man divorced his wife, thereby cutting off her support, either she would have to marry someone else (thus committing adultery), or go into prostitution (thus committing adultery).

It is obvious that a woman who continues to live after a divorce without remarrying or becoming a prostitute is not committing adultery. It should also be obvious that if a man divorces his wife because she is already committing adultery, then he is not forcing her to do so.

DaveBj

 

[Tybourne]

Hi, I agree with David BJ and would add one thing. The distinctive addition to the Law of Moses by Jesus the Christ, Incarnate Word of God, God Himself is that marriage is indissoluble (St Matthew 5:32). Therefore, it’s not divorcing but remarrying, or concubinage and adultery in your wife’s case, that is the problem. You refer to her as your ex-wife. The radical, challenging teaching of Christ and His Church is that there is no such thing as an ex-wife. Either your marriage was valid, in which case she is still your wife, no matter how reprehensible her behaviour, or, you never were married. For your own life and conduct it seems to me vital that you discern which is the case. This is indeed a hard saying and my only comfort is to offer you the example of St Thomas More, who died for the indissolubility of marriage- it is a truth of Christ which is worth living for and worth giving your life for, either at an instant, like St Thomas More or gradually over an extended period, like a libation. In this situation, you are sharing in the Hosea experience of God, the faithful husband of the Church, his often wayward wife. I hope this is of some help, although it’s not easy to live with.

 

[hansard]

If you re-marry, you commit adultery with your new wife, and you cause her to commit adultery (as you are still married to your ex-wife, in the eyes of the Church).
It’s a tangled web…

 

[shaky]

Hi, I agree with David BJ and would add one thing. The distinctive addition to the Law of Moses by Jesus the Christ, Incarnate Word of God, God Himself is that marriage is indissoluble (St Matthew 5:32). Therefore, it’s not divorcing but remarrying, or concubinage and adultery in your wife’s case, that is the problem. You refer to her as your ex-wife. The radical, challenging teaching of Christ and His Church is that there is no such thing as an ex-wife. Either your marriage was valid, in which case she is still your wife, no matter how reprehensible her behaviour, or, you never were married. For your own life and conduct it seems to me vital that you discern which is the case. This is indeed a hard saying and my only comfort is to offer you the example of St Thomas More, who died for the indissolubility of marriage- it is a truth of Christ which is worth living for and worth giving your life for, either at an instant, like St Thomas More or gradually over an extended period, like a libation. In this situation, you are sharing in the Hosea experience of God, the faithful husband of the Church, his often wayward wife. I hope this is of some help, although it’s not easy to live with.

I am not too bothered in getting married again. I am 53. My ex wife was not a catholic. Nor did she ever get baptised into the christian faith. I have got grounds for Annulment if i ever want to marry again. I was only concerned about me divorcing her causes her to commit adultery. Especially if she breaks from the bloke who she is with now. Finds that she can not get back into bed with me because of the divorce. Then this has made me to cause her to commit adultery Again.

 

[bnbkaine]

Actually, shaky, unless you get an annulment, you are still married in the eyes of the Church and could pick up your marriage where it left off. But you never caused her to commit adultery; she chose to do that on her on.

 

[SunshineZA]

Actually, shaky, unless you get an annulment, you are still married in the eyes of the Church and could pick up your marriage where it left off. But you never caused her to commit adultery; she chose to do that on her on.

Very good, true and concise answer.

 

[txstm]

I might be mistaken, but since the ex-wife was never baptized, I don’t think the OP’s marriage was licit and would not be recognized by the church (unless he sought prior approval from his Bishop). If there was no marriage, then an annulment is not necessary as he was never married in the first place, right?

If I’m correct, then the OP commtted adultery by having relations with a woman to whom he was not married to in the eyes of the church.

 

[jmcrae]

I might be mistaken, but since the ex-wife was never baptized, I don’t think the OP’s marriage was licit and would not be recognized by the church (unless he sought prior approval from his Bishop). If there was no marriage, then an annulment is not necessary as he was never married in the first place, right?

The Church does not grant annulments - it grants Decrees of Nullity, which is a certificate that says there was never a marriage in the first place.

Before he could remarry, he would have to obtain a Declaration of Nullity to show that the previous marriage did not exist.

You can’t just decide by yourself that your previous marriage did not exist (otherwise, everyone would do so, regardless of the facts) - you must go through the Tribunal, so that it isn’t just your own personal opinion.

If I’m correct, then the OP commtted adultery by having relations with a woman to whom he was not married to in the eyes of the church.

It would only be a sin if he deliberately entered into an invalid marriage for the purpose of being able to divorce her later on.

 

[The_Old_Medic]

If you even think that you MIGHT want to get married again someday, file for an annulment NOW. The further away you are from the events, the harder it is to get the necessary proofs, etc. That way, in the eyes of the church, you have never been validly married at all.

You never know, you might be called to the Priesthood. That would simplify that option too.

 

[laszlo]

My Ex wife went off with another bloke and is committing Adultery with him. 3 years later while she is still committing Adultery with him i put in for a divorce and got the divorce.
I have not caused her to commit Adultery.

Jesus refers to a case when the man breaks the marriage without any fault from the part of wife. In your case the separation is acceptable.

You cannor remarry or start relationship w/o annulment of the marriage, but this is different question.

 

[shaky]

Actually, shaky, unless you get an annulment, you are still married in the eyes of the Church and could pick up your marriage where it left off. But you never caused her to commit adultery; she chose to do that on her on.

If for any Reason she happens stop this relationship with the other bloke and wants to get back with me. Then i decided to forgive her. Could we Go back to sleeping together straight away without going for another wedding.