How does God fit in your Marriage?

[T.A.Stobie_SFO]

I thought this might be an interesting topic to discuss.

I will start with a poem which I have written:

It takes Three in Marriage

For any marriage to be great,
It takes three to participate.
Together they are a holy unity
Just like the Blessed Trinity.

Husband, Wife, and God working together
Deeply loving and caring for each other
United in prayer, faith, and life
Overcoming hardship, injury, and strife.

Communication in marriage is key,
Without it you suffer in misery.
Talking openly and often is vital
For any loving intimate family.

Feelings, thoughts, and ideas share freely
In undying love between the entire three,
Trusting in each other fully and openly,
Knowing that true love lives for eternity.

Holy, Blest, and Fortunate is a Marriage
Where each member gives his all
For the others’ good in every age
Love unceasing and loving all.

 

[sparkle]

What does SFO stand for after your name?

What a beautiful poem! A blessing to me today!

I definately feel there needs to be 3 in every marriage!

The problem comes when one spouse wants to bring God into the marriage and one doesn’t. What do you do about that?

 

[T.A.Stobie_SFO]

sparkle:

What does SFO stand for after your name?

SFO = Secular Franciscan Order. See ciofs.org/sfo.htm

sparkle:

I definately feel there needs to be 3 in every marriage!

The problem comes when one spouse wants to bring God into the marriage and one doesn’t. What do you do about that?

That makes it a lot more difficult. First, the one who want God in, should invite God in his or her heart. Second, the two spouses need to get together and discuss why this is important to one of the spouses. Ask your spouse to help deepen your faith by praying together as a couple and by sharing Spiritual things.

 

[carrieloon]

Sparkle,
Make it a trinity by LIVING your faith. Act as Jesus did and your husband will be drawn to that persona, even if he does not know “technically” where it is coming from.

My husband and I are cradle Catholics, but I felt myself moving away from the Church because of marital problems we were having. The more my husband devoted himself to the Church, the more I wanted to distance myself–because I was angry. I can see now that it was foolish but I couldn’t see it then.

You know how he drew me back to my own faith? By being this wonderful and strong person whose faith was unshakable. By being generous and kind when discussing religion. In short, he lived his faith completely and it was irresistable.
He didn’t preach, or pass judgement, he was just GOOD and KIND with his message–both verbal and in his actions.

It really worked!

 

[puppylove]

I am currently working on that too! Thanks T.A. and Carrieloon for your advice.

 

[Annunciata]

sparkle:

I definately feel there needs to be 3 in every marriage!

The problem comes when one spouse wants to bring God into the marriage and one doesn’t. What do you do about that?

Sparkle, Good points!
My dh doesn’t think that God belongs in the bedroom…I’ve tried explaining that the ‘marriage act’ has everything to do with God and that is one of the only good things he didn’t take away from us after Adam & Eve’s fall. I think he thinks I’m being sacriligious
Annunciata

p.s. Beautiful poem Thomas!

 

[T.A.Stobie_SFO]

I always tried to say Grace before engaging in marital activies in the bedroom.

 

[AHMFan]

puppylove:

I am currently working on that too! Thanks T.A. and Carrieloon for your advice.

Same here Puppylove… Working and praying, praying and working at it… It gets rather discouraging at times, but I can’t blame my dh at all… I married him being a non-practicing craddle Catholic, then I had my 1st child and it all changed… I have become more deeply involved in my faith and church, and it has caused some distance…But he tries…He really does…

My prayers go out to anyone dealing with the same situation in there marriages…

Tanya

 

[sparkle]

carrieloon:

Sparkle,
Make it a trinity by LIVING your faith. Act as Jesus did and your husband will be drawn to that persona, even if he does not know “technically” where it is coming from.

Thanks for the encouragement Carrieloon! How wonderful!

I have really tried to “live my faith” for over a decade----and my husband just doesn’t seem in the least bit interested in anything spiritual. It’s been a real disappointment for me, as I thought so differently about him when we married. I know all I can do at this point is pray for him, which I have been doing, and taking responsibility for me, and how I can be a true, faithful Christian wife. That’s what God demands of me, for we cannot change another, only God can. He sometimes will ask me what I’m reading—or come see what I’m watching on EWTN, or express that he wants to go to Mass with me on Sunday. I’ve left it to him—as I don’t want to ever push-------but he’s very caught up in wordly things --porn–looking at women-----beer drinking --catch my drift? He’s that kind of guy—and absolutely extremely handsome too—he’ll go the men’s bible studies by his own doing occasionally --which is so neat and will always go to church on Sunday somewhere ----sometimes with me to Mass and other times at a Protestant church where he knows some friends. I leave it to him–as I’m just converting now—(starting RCIA next month). But-----we seem to have different agendas spiritually—which puts me in a quarry really----God knows however and I trust Him in everything!

God Bless~~

 

[Annunciata]

sparkle:

I have really tried to “live my faith” for over a decade----and my husband just doesn’t seem in the least bit interested in anything spiritual. It’s been a real disappointment for me, as I thought so differently about him when we married. I know all I can do at this point is pray for him, which I have been doing, and taking responsibility for me, and how I can be a true, faithful Christian wife. That’s what God demands of me, for we cannot change another, only God can. God Bless~~

There you go Sparkle! I’ve come to the same conclusion, PRAYER, PRAYER and more PRAYER! Then of course ther is always fasting… The key for all of us here expressing our thoughts is as Thomas suggests in his poem…It isn’t just two it’s Three…
Annunciata

 

[familyof8]

I believe one of the most beautiful gifts of faith given to us in modern times is the explanation of the Theology of the Body. What a wonderous expression of faith, love, and unity with God! What I have learned from a lay prelature about sanctifying daily works and the absolute sacramental unity of marriage from the Theology of the Body, has totally opened the world of the vocation of marriage as being a holy calling which several years ago I never understood.

It is so sad when people profess that they are happy with their faith and really don’t want to know more or they love their spouse so much that there is no way they can love God more. The relationships they then have are only a reflection or glimmer of what possibilities really exist.

Loving God with all your heart only opens your heart to more love. Therefore, you can love your spouse more than humanly possible because it is divinely inspired through the sacramental grace. I can’t adequately express my thoughts, but without God, our marriage would be simply a small shadow of what it is.

 

[T.A.Stobie_SFO]

I also daily asks God for the gifts of the Sacrament. It is not a one time sacrament, but goes on everyday.

 

[hosea]

Annunciata:

The key for all of us here expressing our thoughts is as Thomas suggests in his poem…It isn’t just two it’s Three…
Annunciata

There’s a song that we like to sing at weddings during the lighting of the Unity Candle. It’s called “When two become one.” The 2nd verse is the one that moves us.

When three become one and Christ is the center;
When three become one and Jesus lead the way;
When three become one then life’s worth the living;
Three times the giving
When three become one.

As the beautiful couple lights the candle signifying their oneness I pray they will put Christ in the Center of their marriage. He is the architect after all.

Our marriage is strengthened by my wife’s and my ministry. We have sung together at Mass since 1984. She knows and loves my comitment to His music and it’s place in the Church. And as someone earlier described in this thread, it makes me “irrestible” in her beautiful brown eyes. Thank God for the eyes of love! And as I watch her sing and hear her soft voice…woah! man! Hey, maybe that’s how Adam named his mate…wo-man! (I stole a cute joke).

I gotta go kiss my bride.

peace to all,
Terry

 

[Annunciata]

hosea:

There’s a song that we like to sing at weddings during the lighting of the Unity Candle. It’s called “When two become one.” The 2nd verse is the one that moves us.

When three become one and Christ is the center;
When three become one and Jesus lead the way;
When three become one then life’s worth the living;
Three times the giving
When three become one.

As the beautiful couple lights the candle signifying their oneness I pray they will put Christ in the Center of their marriage. He is the architect after all.

Our marriage is strengthened by my wife’s and my ministry. We have sung together at Mass since 1984. She knows and loves my comitment to His music and it’s place in the Church. And as someone earlier described in this thread, it makes me “irrestible” in her beautiful brown eyes. Thank God for the eyes of love! And as I watch her sing and hear her soft voice…woah! man! Hey, maybe that’s how Adam named his mate…wo-man! (I stole a cute joke).

I gotta go kiss my bride.

peace to all,
Terry

Terry,
That is so beautiful! Thanks for sharing that…it’s making me feel a little better…my thread on “Do You And Your Spouse Share The Same Faith” might tell you why… In Christ, Annunciata

 

[Mamamull]

Where isn’t God in my marriage and mothering?

This morning, is so prime an example. Usually my husband and son are up at the crack of dawn – I’m a night owl and so I kind of rely on them for waking me up.

This morning both were tired and we overslept. I woke up knowing I would have a son late to school and that I needed to accept that and move on politely.

Berfore leaving my bed, I said a quick prayer offering my struggles and day to the Lord.

My son wanted dad to take him to school, but my husband was late and I took the child so as to give my husband a hand. The child didn’t like it. I said “Offer your disapppointment as a gift to your dad.” He muttered “OK”

We drive past a Catholic church and we pause our thoughts to say “Hello, Jesus, we love you, Jesus.”

Driving to the school, there were people being selfish – I was getting frustrated. I prayed out loud, “Lord, I have messed up this morning relying on myself. Please come and take over my day, fill in all the places where I have failed.” At that my son pipes in “Help my mouth, Lord” for his arguing. I thanked the Lord for not giving up on us and I felt so much better.

AMDG,
Mamamull

 

[Mamamull]

God in my Marriage Part 2

I have found that the best thing I can do for my marriage is to pray the Rosary for my husband.

A simple act of praying for him and not me is highly rewarded. I am motivated to be a better wife and mom and I have more ability to be my best.

I am fortunate that my husband is deeply spiritual. I thank God for that often. My husband is the spiritual leader in our home. I have tried to accept his rules ( don’t think negatively – he is a Godly man) and learn to be more obedient – just as he is obedient to God and faithful in sacrificing for his family.

We have been enduring the death of a child and we have managed to hold our marriage together through the tumultuous aftermath. God is with us at every moment – even those we are ashamed of.

God is part of us, we are part of him. The Theology of the Body has the teaching of the original union of the Holy Trinity – we are shadow of that union in our mortal form. We have the potential to reach the ulitimate union with God if we live a holy life.

As to prayer before marital union, we do ask God to bless our union. Since I am infertile – we can’t ask for the usual fruits of the bonding, but we still have the unitive bonum and take part in that.

Even when we think we have hidden something from our Lord, we decieving ourselves.

AMDG,
Mamamull